Blog of a Mother

House Rules

2010-07-08T22:17:00.002-04:00

Dad sent me this book a bit ago to read. It's a novel about an 18 yr old boy with Aspergers syndrome, obsessed with crime scenes (and very knowledgeable about them) who ends up becoming the suspect in a murder investigation. It revolved around the family (single mom, 16 yr old 'NT' brother) and basically how the hallmarks of being autistic (no eye contact, stimming, inappropriate responses to things) can look alot like guilt to the police.

I have to say this was the hardest book I ever read. I had to limit myself to reading after the kids were in bed and Jason wasn't home because I would get so upset and I really don't like being upset around other people if I can help it. By myself I could cry. And I did.

It was a GOOD book.. like, say, if you DON'T have a kid or know a kid on the spectrum, it was very well written, definitely drew out the ending (hello second to LAST PAGE???) and really brought you into his world.. her world... the brother's world. I think it's a great book to open the eyes for people who don't know what it's like.

As a mother.. well first off let me say that while I am NOT a single mom I do the lion's share of the childcare duties. Jason usually wakes about an hour before he has to leave for work and isn't home till after the kids are sleeping. On the weekends he sleeps in but he does get up and play with them, takes them to the park so I can clean the house in peace, does video games, etc etc. But for the most part, I am handling them on my own so I do understand some of what she's going thru.

And I can TOTALLY see the little brother's resentment about everything he wants being derailed by what his brother needs or wants. There's no way I could do that, nor would Heather let me. Sometimes.. Mikey just has to understand it can't be the way he thinks it should be. Often that requires a lengthy (days or more) conversation about whats going on and induces lots of tears, anger, unhappiness. But there's just nothing I can do about it. Not that Heather gets it her way all the time either. I'd say it's about 50/50 and generally dependent on the actual situation.

With that being said.. there's no way I think that Mikey's needs could completely override Heather's ALL THE TIME and I disliked that about the book. Of course the younger brother was mad. I would be too.

Just going to say here that I have been working on this for over an hour.. its incredibly hard to get into the book without also paralleling our lives with it which leads to huge paragraphs and frankly, if you are a long time reader of my blog, most of this you already know. So I am gonna take a deep breath and try again.

The hardest parts of the book for me? When he was interviewed at the station (I would kick that asshole in the BALLS) and then his jail time. Holy crap. Mikey has separation anxiety from me as it is.. to think about my baby, even at age 18, being thrown into jail? I might very well lose it. How Jacob handled it.. had me bawling. Literally.. I do commend the mother on finding the first lawyer she could and AT LEAST getting something done but omg..

And when she got to visit him. Again.. bawling. I am tearing up now thinking about it. THAT was the most horrifying parts of the book for me and took me days to get through.

What pissed me off? HELLO WHY DID NOONE ASK HIM IF HE KILLED HER??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

See how mad I am?

They asked ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS... questions that implicated him. Questions that didnt solve anything. MORONS. Because he only answered what he was asked. And he answered it truthfully. But if you are going in with the mindset he killed her... it seems implicating.

I suspected the brother in a way.. although everything I read led me to believe he DIDN'T kill her but I felt like Jacob thought he was protecting him anyways. I still honestly did think SOMEONE killed her though. Maybe the boyfriend.

It was nice for the Dad to come back around. What wasn't nice? Romance between the Mom and the lawyer? REALLY???? Your son is on trial for murder but you can bang his lawyer?? I am sorry, I know she probably throws romance into all her books and I would have been fine with this AFTER THE TRIAL... but during it just ticked me off.

Anyways.. Alls well that ends well? I have never spent over a week on any book (Have I mentioned I read HP 7 in roughly 8 hours?). This one I had to space out just due to the emotions involved. I could be here all day if I didn't want a mass exodus of my what.. 4 readers? lol but I write mostly to get my feelings out and I guess I have.

I want people to read this (much like I wanted people to watch 'Adam') if only to further understand what its like for my son. He isn't a bad kid. He is an amazing kid and if you spend enough time really trying to get to know him.. how he works.. you see that.

In the few months we have had Abby he has fallen in love with Amber (he calls her Amazing Amber lol) and is upset on the weekend when we don't have Abby. He never shuts up about seeing Jade (hint hint). His family is so important to him and he also never shuts up about any of them.. he actually has asked to go see Dad and Cindy in NC BY HIMSELF and initiated spending the night with my Mom. They chat on Yahoo a lot. He hasn't been able to spend the night with anyone in probably over a year. Big progress for him.

I want the stereotype gone.. I want people to stop expecting my son to be like them and try to get on his level. Fortunately most of my family already does this. I would like to see more of the world do it too.

I liked the book. I would like more people to read it. Especially those who know Mikey. It was an emotional roller coaster for me but for most.. I think it will be informative. Autism Awareness.. that's pretty much what I am all about.

Me and the King

2010-04-27T13:18:00.003-04:00

See that? That's me and the Lich King. He's a bad guy. You know, the guy the entire expansion was named after. Soon we're gonna kill him.

I was actually pretty happy to be there. I haven't raided in something like 6 weeks. I took some time off to deal with the move but beyond that, my computer just couldn't take it anymore. All my video/graphics setting were at their lowest possible setting and it was still really bad. Boss fights were going at 1-4 fps. It could take me 3-5 minutes to log off one toon and on to another. Coming in to Dalaran it could take minutes for me to even see other people. And the highest fps I would get there would be about 30 (remember at the lowest possible settings.. so theres hardly any detail or anything).

So on the recommendation of a friend I purchased the parts to build my own computer. Overall, it's cheaper to do it that way. It ended up being a nightmare of epic proportions for me that I do not care to detail, however after mailing the entire thing to friends to fix, I received it back Saturday and it's AMAZING.

So last night I was asked to help out in a ten man and I got to see what it was like to raid with this computer. I run about 75 fps all the time now, the boss fights took it down to the 30-40. 30-40 fps in the middle of boss fights with my graphics on high settings! Thats what I got standing still on my old computer with crappy settings. I am seeing things I never actually saw in the game before. My most commonly used phrase right now is "Oh so that's what (insert zone/instance/city) looks like...."

Anyways, what you have here is one happy priest ready to check out a 25 man raid tonight!

So far, so good...

2010-04-06T16:40:00.003-04:00

Well we're moved in. The actual moving part was hell. We rented the truck Wednesday and a friend of Moms helped us load the heavier stuff. Then a friend of ours came by later and helped with boxes. It was during this time I realized it was a GOOD thing only the largest truck was available.

Jason hadn't gone thru any of his tools so he said he had to take them ALL and sort thru them later. He always wanted to take the old bike he hadn't worked on in over a year. And his toolboxes. Our bed is huge, we have alot of TV's, Mikey's bed, some bookcases.. well add it all up and we used pretty close to every spare inch and I was SO TIRED.

Dad got called out Wednesday night so he was unable to help us move in but fortunately my Mom's friend could and we couldn't have done it without him. No way I could have helped with some of the heavier stuff. That day also sucked. Jason went back to the house and got a cat plus some other things and didn't get back home till 1 am. He also spent almost all day Friday cleaning the old place and brought another cat home.

So now we are unpacking and setting up. It's hard to find new places for stuff but we'll get there. I took Mikey to get registered at his new school yesterday. He was not happy about the new school at ALL but he turned around once we got there and looked around! They have a computer lab (wooo). His teacher told him they could talk about Sonic. And he loved the huge picture of all the students in the hallway. He wants his picture RIGHT in the middle haha.

So I took him back today and spoke with the teacher a bit about my concerns. She had already made some Sonic laminate cards for Mikey's areas. She told him he could be in charge of turning on and off the computers every day. I left him a note to read if he missed me and although he seemed a bit weepy as I left, he still seemed in good spirits about it.

Dad, Heather and I picked him up this afternoon and the teacher said he had a very good day. He got a bit sad at times and said he missed me but overall, he did great. I am thrilled because changing schools was my BIGGEST concern for him. Hopefully, although I am sure there will be hurdles, his good attitude remains for the rest of the school year.

Now to finish unpacking..

IEP Meeting

2010-03-24T18:16:00.002-04:00

This morning was Mikey's IEP meeting. It was supposed to be done around April but seeing as how tomorrow is his last day, they moved it up so that I would be able to take it to the new school, which is definitely appreciated.

Of course, it wasn't great. Academically Mikey isn't doing as well as he could be according to everyone. They know he CAN do the work, the question is, will he? His day to day schoolwork was a mess, but individualized tests show him more than capable or anything they are giving him. Of course, they have to take the whole picture.

His behavior was a big topic, and on that particular note, while he just started the new med last night, he has been off the old one since last Thursday and we have seen steady improvement as it has filtered out of his system. Today he got 116/120 points at school.. this was the first week he has scored over 100 in a LONG time so I do believe the medication was not a good fit for him.

While most goals stay the same, his teacher did add one thing under Assitive Methods/Devices, and that was for Mikey to be able to use a word processor/computer for some work if possible. She said they have never seen a child whose handwriting did not improve over the years until Mikey. It's awful. She was not able to implement that this year because it was not written into his last IEP or she would have during FCATs, but next year they will be able to.

So it was about what I expected, which mostly wasn't good. But also, it could have been worse.. right?

As far as the move goes, we've pushed it back a few days. Jason had to order a part for our car which won't be here till Friday, then he will have to spend all day Saturday fixing it. He still has to pack up the shed and back porch so it just seemed easier to move later in the week. Jason and Mikey are both off anyways.

I have been packing the inside of the house. Heather's bedroom is done, our bed and bathroom is mostly done, the kids bathroom hardly has anything in it, and the living room is getting started. Mikey's room I will probably save for last, so as to cause him the least amount of issues. Packing is rough! I am throwing away as much as I can but.. yeah.

Getting Mikey Excited To Move

2010-03-15T14:41:00.004-04:00

Well, we've been talking about it for about 6 months now. The big day is only a few weeks off. The last week of March, while Jason is on vacation and Mikey is out of school for Spring Break, we'll be moving from Deltona, back to Orlando.

In a very lucky move for us, we'll be taking over Dad and Cindy's place, as they prepare for their new home in North Carolina. It will save us considerable money, and we'll be closer to alot of family. I'll be watching my niece to help my step-sister (a single mom) out during the day. Jason will be closer to work, which is less gas and less wear and tear on our already failing car.

All in all it's a win-win. Except for one thing. Mikey. Being autistic, change is one of the hardest things he has to deal with. New things cause him lots of anxiety. He likes routine, predictability, and stability. Take this school year for example. It's been nothing but hard for him. Going from three years of the same teacher, routine, and classroom to a totally new setting and well.. you guys have read most of my posts on how its gone.

The last few weeks to a month or so he has gotten worse and I know its because of anxiety about the move. There's just no way around it, but arguing and fighting with him about it wasn't doing either of us ANY good. I needed to find a way, on his level, to get him excited about it.. at least PART of it.

First off.. make the new house look as much like the old house as possible. While Mikey is angling for the same color paint in the living room (a feat I am not even sure is possible), I have agreed to set his bedroom up exactly like it is here. Bedroom, bookcase, etc all in the same place.. posters up the same way.. shelves, etc. Same with Heather's room, except we'll be replacing the crib she only slept in for a few months with a new big girl bed.

Same for the living room too, as much as we can. Another thing that he is excited about, is helping us pick out NEW things for the house. The kids bathroom has been Spiderman themed since before Heather was born. I asked him if he'd like to help me pick all ALL NEW stuff for their bathroom and he was way more into that then I thought he'd be. He said he wanted to help us pick out EVERYTHING for the new house. Well, ok.

These things are somewhat small in the grand scheme but anything is something. He will be at a whole new school (and not the one I thought he'd go to) and I don't expect it to go well. Perhaps the summer will make things a little easier for him, but I take what I can get.

The Funeral

2010-03-05T20:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a really rough, emotional day for me. I figured it would be. Dad and Cindy came by and got me around 9:15 am and we headed out. We met my Aunt, Uncle and cousin at the funeral home. Granny and Grampy were behind us and my Dad's best friend of over 20 years came also. I thought it was an incredibly nice gesture for them to come, seeing as how they have no relation to her. The more family around (and Dave is like family after all this time) the better support.

It was hard to go into the viewing area. It was closed casket, as it had been for both my Nana and Granddad. Grandma had always said she didn't like open casket and I can't say I blame her, so I wasn't surprised. My Grandma Millsap's viewing had been open casket and it took me the better part of an hour or so to go in. In the end two of my cousins went with me. To each their own, but I think when it's my time, I'd prefer closed casket too.

My cousin Diana had made two collages. One was my Grandmother growing up. There were pictures of her as a girl, a teen, a young adult. Pictures of her with both my Dad and Uncle as babies. The other collage was of her family. Grandma with my Nana, Granddad, my cousins and myself. Even Mikey was in there. I think my favorite was the one of us at my wedding. We all looked really happy. Even better, some of the pictures of my Granddad were before the stroke. She did a wonderful job and it was nice to look at those and remember all the things we had done.

The viewing was an hour long, in which of course, we met many people who knew her. Most I didn't know, but a few I did, including an old Sunday School teacher. Alot of stories about my Grandma. During this time we learned about a ring my grandmother had been wearing when she passed. They had asked if she should be buried with it, but my Dad and Uncle said no. Originally we weren't sure what ring it was, turned out to be her high school class ring. I remember her showing it to me and she wore it just as much as her wedding ring.

The first part of the service was some singing and talking about the facts of Grandma's life. The singing was probably the hardest part for me. I remember my Grandma singing those songs. I even remember singing one myself, with my Grandma signing the verses and then us signing the chorus together. One of my favorite memories.

Then came the actual service. I certainly have mixed feelings about that. Not going to get into it all here but I wasn't thrilled completely with how it was handled, although there were nice moments. I suppose after my Nana and Granddad's funerals I should have expected the "If you aren't saved you are going to HELL" part of the service but it didn't make it any easier. No offense to any Christians, but the FUNERAL of a loved one is not IMO the time to be telling them they are doomed. But that's just me.

Lastly came the graveside service, which wasn't too much, a few words and that was all. I got a rose off my Grandma's casket (well someone got it for me). Some people threw their roses into the grave where she'd be lain to rest. I kept mine. After some mingling, thank yous, and more condolences, it was over.

Afterwards we all met at a small Italian restaurant up the street. It was nice to spend some time with everyone, especially the family I don't see much. My Dad or my Uncle alone are pretty funny guys. You put them together and it's hard to stop laughing. Add my Dad's best friend into the mix and yeah.. it was a good few hours of laughing, good food and reminiscing.

Finally however it was time to go. We all said our goodbye's, Dad and Uncle Mark went thru a few more things we had gotten from the funeral home and that was it. Right before we left the restaurant, my Dad gave me my Grandma's high school ring.

It's hard to explain how much that meant to me. Having a piece of her.. a very old and important piece, means more to me than I can express. I will treasure it and more than likely one day pass it to Heather.

As we were leaving Citrus County I remarked to my Dad and Cindy that it was hard to believe I'd likely never be back. I'd been coming out here all my life. I knew landmarks like the back of my hand. So many memories out here. And now that's the end of them.

But if the pastor got anything right during the service, it's that my Grandmother wanted to go. She wanted to be with My Granddad. Now she is, along with her parents and multiple other special people in her life. She's probably pretty happy up there. It doesn't mean I will miss her any less...

Remembering Grandma

2010-03-01T00:21:00.002-05:00

My grandmother passed away Saturday, February 27th 2010. You could say it was expected, as her health has been deteriorating lately. But I am not sure you are ever ready for the death of someone you love. I sure wasn't.

My Grandma was such an amazing person. It was easy to be slightly scared by her as a child. She brooked NO insolence and one look from her could freeze you and have you seriously reconsidering your actions. You just didn't mess with Grandma. But I remember other stuff too. Like a trip to the toy store when I turned 6. Summers spent tagging along to the Deaf Service Center. Letters back and forth when I was in the hospital.. so many things.

We were close. I took an instant affinity to sign language. Grandma was a Deaf Interpreter and I remember taking classes as young as 5 with my Mom where my grandma was teaching. We'd sign often during summers where I wanted to practice. I spent as much time as I could at her job, talking to deaf people, and eventually took college courses in that direction.

But aside from a mutual love for ASL, we had closeness. Grandma was very religious.. Southern Baptist. I spent most of my childhood the daughter of a preacher so I got that part. I was never fond of witnessing (canvassing areas for other people to try and get them to come to church). There were several things IN the Bible I wasn't down with (issues with gay marriage for one.. I felt strongly about this before I ever graduated high school) but overall I would spend spring breaks with Grandma doing her church's revivals and whatnot. I liked the camaraderie, the singing, friendship, food.. even if I didn't always agree with the message.

As strong as Grandma felt about her religion.. she didn't try to force other people to feel the same nor did she necessarily block people who felt different. No, she wasn't down with discussing say Wiccan.. so much. But she didn't begrudge those who chose that path. She just wasn't able to listen to it.

When I got pregnant with Mikey and time came to tell Grandma I was worried, I won't lie. We weren't married. Totally against her religion. I am not sure I could have heard a prouder Grandma than her over the phone that day. She was thrilled. She was there for Mikey's birth. She was at our wedding. And at no point in any of that did she make us feel bad for having a child out of wedlock. She loved Mikey, Jason and me all together.

I could be here for days telling you how amazing my Grandma was. Literally. But I doubt anyone would stick around that long. Suffice to say.. she shaped me. She played a major role in the woman I am today. I don't nor have I ever judged someone based on beliefs or ideals. My own parents also instilled this in me but hey.. where do you think My Dad got it from?

Lastly.. her loyalty. My grandfather had a stroke when I was 14. I remember it all like yesterday. Getting called out of school.. the drive.. the hospital for days.. the rehab.. him coming home. He wasn't the same man and he never would be. I still loved him.. always will. But as an adult now I can see the difficulties it presented my grandmother.

Imagine having the person you love, married, had kids with... permanently disabled. I can see it clearer now.. with Mikey. A day off pills for him and you are ready for the loony bin (love you anyways buddy). Every single day for the next ten years my Grandma worked with him. I know it wasn't easy. I remember Dad talking to him sometimes about working with her better. Granddad couldn't help it. I imagine inside, he was as angry about what happened to him as we were. But he was the one living it.

She refused any offer to put him in a nursing home. She took care of him and in the latter stages my Nana (her mom) all the way up to the very end. She didn't have to. She could have sent him somewhere and visited and you know what. It would have been ok. She had enough to deal with anyways. But she didn't. She loved him that much.. that it was her.. taking care of him. All the way up to the end.

My Granddad and Nana passed away within months of each other in 1999. Since then, its just been Grandma. She herself had to go to a nursing home years ago. And I haven't been able to see her as much as I would have liked due to Mikey's issues and Jason's work schedule. But ..

Grandma.. you were simply put one of the most amazing women I have known. I adored you down to the tips of my toes as a kid/teenager and it never really changed. I wish you didn't have to go.. I wish you could stay. I would love for Heather to get to know you. But don't worry. She's going to hear all about you.. and how you were there for me.. and all the things I admire about you. I love you Grandma.

More later after the funeral..

Report Card Time!

2010-01-27T15:03:00.002-05:00

Got Mikey's 2nd period report card today and it was good news! He got all A's and B's except one subject. Reading he went from a D to a B and is now back to meeting the reading standard set by the state. He also went from a C to a B in science!

However he went from a B to a C in art ><. Mikey finds art completely unnecessary. Not only do they often do things that are difficult for his sensory issues (fingerpaints, chalk, etc etc), what exactly IS the point of all that stuff anyways? Do we really need another painting of a sun, trees and flowers? Is the beaded bracelet really important in the grand scheme of things? Why would he be doing something 'fun' like art when he could be researching sprite sheets for his latest video game?

So overall I am happy, he's improving in the important subjects anyways. School has been very rough this year and I considered moving him to a school like the Academy for Autism. I thought perhaps a school centered around working with autistic kids might be a better fit for him than a public school with many different kids needs to worry about. Jason agreed with me.

However I called them and they appear to deal mainly with kids on the lower end of the spectrum, while Mikey is higher functioning. She suggested the Maitland Academy but that's a pretty far trek twice a day, and of course we currently only have one car. So that may not be an option after all.

And as much as I'd love to homeschool, it's hard enough getting homework done with Heather around. Add in the fact I'll be watching my baby niece once we move while her Mommy is at work, it's probably not gonna happen.

Sooo just have to do the best I can with what we have and hope for continued improvement.

Social Practice: Christmastime

2009-12-30T20:04:00.002-05:00

So I mentioned to Mikey that his teacher might ask what he got for Christmas, and what was he going to say. I had a small hope he might actually pick one or two gifts to mention but of course, that was not the case.

We argued for a bit about why this conversation should even be happening. So I tried to roleplay. I was going to be his teacher. And we could practice what we would say.

Me: "Hey Mikey, welcome back to school. What did you get for Christmas this year?"

Mikey: "Why are you asking me, you already know what I got"

Me: "No, Mikey, I am pretending to be your teacher remember. She doesn't know what you got"

Mikey:"But why does she want to know? Does she want to steal my presents and make them for herself?"

Me: "No Mikey, she just wants to know cause it will make her happy"

Mikey: "Why would my presents make her happy? She has her own presents for making her happy."

Me: "It would make her happy to know what you got because your presents made YOU happy"

Mikey: "Why does she need to know if I am happy?"

Me: *sigh* "Because sometimes people like to hear what other people are happy about, because they care about them and they like them. Now let's try this again. Here I will help. Did you get any games this year?"

Mikey: "Why are you asking me? You already know what I got."

We're gonna need a lot more practice. And I'd like a big barrel of patience too please.

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-25T16:09:00.002-05:00

Well ours is about over. We did the usual Christmas Eve at Granny and Grampys, spent the night with Jeremy and Wendy and did Christmas morning with Dad, Cindy and them, then came home and Mom came by later for more presents and Christmas Day Dinner.

Here's a run down of what the kids got:

Mikey:
Cars Sheet set and blanket
Tiger Woods Golf and Sonic game for Xbox
Target gift card
Transformers (which we have been given permission to exchange haha)
$25 B&N gift card (which we will be spending online)
HUGE bag of his favorite snack foods in individual packages including Cheese Its, Teddy Grahams, Mini boxes of cereal and cereal bars
Blue Snuggie
Bionicle shirt
Lego Star Wars shirt
Hot Chocolate gift set with mugs, cocoa and ingredients for Smores

(Sorry Mikey is really hyped up.. if you cant tell...)

Heather:
Baby Einstein Rocket toy
Minnie Mouse shirt and smaller Minnie items
Littlest Pet Shop salon
Kitchen playset with sounds
Disney Princess Tea set and cart (we've had 'tea' 4 times today already)
Disney Princess tent and sleeping bag
Pink Snuggie
Bath items (bubble baths, markers, shampoos, spray bottle, etc etc)
Lots of clothes
Tinkerbell Activity clipboard
Disney Princess flashlight

As usual we have tons of food leftover: Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, Sweet potato casserole, Green bean casserole, rolls, cracker and port wine spread, potato salad, Pigs in a blanket and pie! We can eat for a week on this (including Mikey's snacks haha).

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and got to spend some time with the people you love (like I did!)

Kids Christmas Pics 2009

2009-12-14T16:55:00.004-05:00

The best session I have ever had with both kids together. I have no idea whether I will achieve such picture perfection again while they are young. Enjoy.

Christmas Pics 2009

Happy Birthday Heather aka MAN I am tired.

2009-12-05T20:42:00.002-05:00

Today is Heather's 4th birthday. It's so hard to believe how big she has gotten. We had a big day planned for her and it went off without a hitch!

We headed to Downtown Disney's Marketplace in the afternoon. Fortunately the rain of the last several days had let up, but it was still quite chilly. While waiting on Grandma, Granddad, Aunt Amber and Aunt Wendy we browsed the shops, so Heather could pick out exactly what she wanted. We also took a few train rides.

Mikey started off badly. Jason had to take him to throw up and he was very unhappy. Who can blame him, the place was a madhouse. I thought we might end up having to go home earlier than expected, then he kinda worked his way around to actually being in a good mood.

They arrived and gave Heather her first present, a few very cute outfits for her to wear. Then we hit the stores. Our first round of shopping netted Heather a new hoodie, a woolen cap with a pom pom on top, a Minnie Mouse pillow and cupcake making kit, a Mickey Mouse baseball set (ball, bat and glove) and Mickey Mouse ice cubes and lastly, a Daisy Duck shirt. Then it was time to take a break for dinner at McDonalds.

The second round of shopping she ended up with a Disney Princess place mat, plate, bowl, silverware set, 4 matching Princess cups AND a Disney soccer ball. And all I can say is thank god for Cindy's discount and the wonderful family who donated birthday money. We're going to work on Thank you cards this week lol.

And lest you think Mikey came away with nothing, well he really wanted nothing. Till we passed the "Make your own Lightsaber display". And make one he did, proclaiming it to be the best lightsaber ever and that he was very happy with what he had. That's my boy.

While there I was also able to snag a few more Christmas gifts for him in the form of a Bionicle shirt and a Lego Star Wars shirt. So he needs one more thing then both kids Christmas is done.

Next stop: Grandma Francis' house. Upon arrival we have Happy birthday signs, a HUGE My Little Pony balloon (to go with the My Little Pony cake I ordered that she got her), Princess plates, napkins, cups AND a 'Birthday Princess ribbon Heather insisted on wearing right away.

Grandma had a new outfit for Heather and had bought Barbie's "A Christmas Carol" for them to watch. Heather would be spending the night and then going shopping with Grandma tomorrow for even MORE birthday presents.

Tomorrow I will be going thru Heathers room and purging.. ALOT. She made out with tons of new clothes, a pillow, dining ware, food, ice cubes(cause mickey shaped ice is HOT) and really only two toys (the baseball set and soccer ball). That's not too bad actually..

More pics when my Dad gets them online!!

Frustration

2009-12-01T19:04:00.002-05:00

It hasn't been a great year for Mikey so far. New teacher, classroom, schedule, routine.. after 3 years of basically the same. And things are definitely more academic this year and moving faster than before. He'll be taking his first FCAT... blah.

He's been acting out alot. Disrespectful, refusing to do work we know full well he is capable of. Hiding work. Arguing with other students. Disruptive... the list goes on and on.

His anxiety levels have gone up also it seems. We spent 30 minutes Sunday dealing with a meltdown over ants on the sidewalk that would get killed by kids at school walking around. He's constantly checking his hands for dirt or hair, his table setting, his computer area. He agonizes over scrapes that take too long to heal, teeth that take too long to come in, and we cant watch the news even.

And we are STILL.. since preschool, dealing with reading comprehension. The FCAT pre tests they send home don't bode well. He can spot a grammatical error or spelling error a mile way, but he can't tell you what the story was about. Take homework last night. He whizzed through some multiplication that was visual (3 sets of 3 coins each.. 3 x 3 = ?? for example). Then we got to this.

Jim sat in the driver's seat of his cruiser. Parked on the roadside he watched and waited. Lately, there had been several wrecks here. Some drivers did not obey the speed limit. With his badge on and his radar ready, he was all set.

What is Jim's job?

He could.not.answer. I reread it at least 5 times, added additional clues of my own ("Mikey, would a doctor do that? A teacher? Who watches for people speeding? Who wears a badge? Who writes tickets for speeding?") and I just got "Jim? A guy who holds a stop sign? Someone who doesn't like speeders?" "Ok Mikey what is the name of that JOB? If it's not a teacher or a doctor, what job do you think wears a badge, writes tickets, looks for speeding cars?"

Over and over and over and over.... and over some more. I finally gave up :( What wasn't connecting? What could I have said or done to get him to understand what I wanted him to tell me? And if *I* couldn't get it out of him, what happens come test time?

Yeah, I am frustrated...

On the other hand we had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I got to hold my new niece and spend some time with the family. Mikey did great. He was very over stimulated but he was HAPPY. We don't get that much in large social gatherings, so I was pleased. At least SOME things are getting better.

Busiest Time of Year

2009-11-20T22:24:00.002-05:00

Well we are coming up now on what is always our busiest time of year.. the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

This upcoming week is of course Thanksgiving. Wednesday I will be cooking my butt off (or at least I wish that were possible) in preparation for both Thursday (spent at Granny and Grampy's house in the evening) and either Friday or Saturday evening depending on whether my Mom has Friday off or not.

It's generally too much to ask of Mikey (or Heather to be honest) for too much to happen in one day. We COULD do Thanksgiving lunch with my Mom and dinner with my Dad and Stepmom's family, but the kids would be worn completely out and probably not very friendly. My Mom has always been awesome at accomodating us and we have gotten into a groove of doing Thanksgiving with HER (and my brother if he's around) a day or so after the actual day. The kids are more relaxed, *I* am more relaxed and my mom visits friends on the day itself so I don't worry she is by herself.

So that will all be going on next week. I really enjoy this time as we often come out with TONS of extra food and we all have alot of fun. IN addition this year, I get to meet my new niece on Thanksgiving, Abby Kay. She was born to my step-sister Amber on November 13th with a full head of hair!

I absolutely cannot wait to hold her, she looks absolutely precious.

The weekend after is Heather's 4th birthday on Saturday, December 5th. We plan to meet up with Grandma Cindy and Granddad and hopefully a few other family members (and MAYBE one of Heather's best friends) at Downtown Disney. We'll let her play, pick out her gifts and eat dinner. From there it's off to Grandma Francis' house for cake and ice cream and more presents, where she will most likely spend the night (WOOT)

The following weekend nothing is planned YET however I would like to get the kids Christmas pictures done. I still have the coupons for 5 free sheets from last year's horrible issue with Walmart photo studios and since I haven't usually had a problem there before, I will try again.

The weekend after that, December 19th, is the annual (and last) family Disney Christmas trip. We have been doing these for as long as they have been married and longer for Cindy's family of course. This year its just Heather and I going as Mikey likely wouldn't last the day and Jason isn't a huge fan of theme parks. We'll meet up, have lunch or dinner, shop till we drop and then check out Osbourne Christmas Lights. It's a tradition I will miss (as Dad and Cindy are moving to N. Carolina in March) so I didn't wanna miss the last year.

Of course.. the Friday after is Christmas. We'll do our usual Christmas Eve at Granny and Grampy's but I am unsure what the plans are for Christmas morning yet. The afternoon will probably bring my Mom and Christmas Dinner. And then of course, the following week is New Year's. We usually dont make any plans to go out, we just get some drinks and watch the ball drop and then football the next day. By the time that's done.. PHEW.. Holiday Season 2009 comes to a close. I can only hope I make it thru in one piece.

Barnes and Noble

2009-10-25T17:52:00.002-04:00

Well today was another kind of experiment. I figure in order to help Mikey handle social situations better, it might first be easier to take him somewhere he ACTUALLY WANTS TO GO. So at least we'd start out on the right foot.

The Patriots game was finally being televised this week so I figured that would be a good time to get the kids out of the house so Jason could watch it in peace. As long as he texted me every time someone scored (which he did).

I started out last weekend talking to Mikey about it (because no matter how much he may want to do something, if you tell him about it 5 minutes before you plan to leave it's not gonna go well) and letting him know exactly what the plans were.

"We're going to go to Barnes and Noble. They have cookies and hot cocoa. They also have lots of computer books and magazines. Maybe you can pick one out if you like." I originally intended to just be me and Mikey but Heather heard me and immediately it was "I wanna go too!!! I wanna go too!!" and so yeah. She came too.

As the week progressed I added on Walmart so I could get the kids Halloween costumes. Mikey seemed fine everytime we we talked about it. And today was the big day.

To be honest, Mikey far exceeded my expectations for his behavior and how much he could handle. While it was quite obvious his anxiety levels were extremely high, he never misbehaved and only rarely asked me when we were going home. He was pretty much attached to my hip and wanted Heather attached to his, wouldn't touch anything (except his food and that was after I assured him it was fine), couldn't handle Heather doing anything I didn't directly tell her to (no ideas of her own lol) and overall would have appeared to be a mess to an outsider.

But since I know him and I know exactly how he is, I thought he was doing AMAZING. We went to the kids section for a while and Heather picked something out and played with a few toys. We went by the computer books section and the magazine section but Mikey couldn't find anything he wanted. I myself found a hardcover Nora Roberts novel I hadn't read yet for $7 so I grabbed that. And we went to the cafe where Mikey got a big pretzel and hot cocoa and Heather got a huge sprinkle cookie and we chilled there for a while to eat.

At Walmart we found a costume for Heather but Mikey only wants to be one thing and of course, Walmart didn't have it. Even still he was in good spirits and I grabbed a few small groceries and headed home, considering the outing a success.

Here's a few pics!

Separation Anxiety: An Experiment

2009-10-23T16:55:00.002-04:00

Although not diagnosed, separation anxiety falls under a Autism/Asperger's diagnosis and there's no doubt Mikey has it. He hates leaving the house. Yes, it's partly related to his computer but I can even send him to his room and he will read, play with toys and entertain himself for hours (as evidence by several sleepless nights this week that I will get into shortly).

And he also hates to be away from me or Jason, although it seems to be mostly me, I can leave him home with Jason and he's fine. But say, I walk out of the room to do laundry or something and he suddenly realizes I am not in view, he'll start calling for me, jumping up, trying to make sure I am still somewhere in the house.

You cant have anything on near him that involves crying, yelling, injury, death, etc etc. He immediately starts to freak out and even if its a movie and we try to tell him its not real, he's not satisfied. Needless to say, I read the news online because I can't play it when he's awake. He obsessed over Michael Jackson's death for weeks.

He was recently thrilled when I got on Yahoo on my new phone (I got internet free for a month) and messaged him from Walmart. Constant contact with Mommy.. what could be better?

However an area we have struggled with for SO LONG and currently is in some of its worst stages is one I never connected to separation anxiety. His sleep. It's long been an issue due to the stimulant he takes in the morning but even with the pill, he was often up way longer than we wanted, constantly calling me from the bedroom, telling me he can't sleep right away. We'd just go round and round and round till he either eventually passed out, I laid down with him or we let him come out to the couch to sleep.

On those occasion where we let him come out here in 99% of the cases he was sound sleep in minutes. After hours of arguing. Jason and I would make note of it to each other but didn't think about it much past that.

As I felt his nighttime meds were wearing off we started him on something new. It helped his appetite greatly but there were several nights he was up till 2 am or later with us fighting him the whole time. When I would finally go lay down with him, he'd fall asleep. We changed meds AGAIN and same issues. I had to keep him home from school Monday for him being up so late. But he was up just as late that night and I sent him Tuesday anyways, hoping to wear him out.

He did sleep. Around 10:30 or so. Same deal this week. Argue and fight until I laid down with him or he came out here and then BAM.. asleep.

So today I am reading more about Separation Anxiety and came across this:

Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep at nighttime without being physically close to adult loved ones

Well now. Really? /smack in the forehead

So tonight I am trying an experiment. I am just going to start him off out here. I only watch tv shows one night a week so the living room will be mostly dark, only the dining room light on. I dont raid again till Monday so I wont be talking. I wanna see how long it takes him to fall asleep if I let him sleep out here to begin with.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Developmental Ped Checkup

2009-09-23T16:53:00.002-04:00

Mikey had his quarterly checkup with the Developmental ped today. He hasnt changed any in height or weight which is good (although he IS at 10% for BMI.. tall for his age but slightly below average for weight).

Today we saw the nurse practitioner who was a very nice woman who asked ALOT of questions. She even had Mikey take an anxiety questionnaire, half of which he did himself and the other half she asked him directly.

I have had concerns about his anxiety for quite some time now. Some things he can be talked thru, others are just flat out not getting past him. Social situations are the worst, bad enough recently that he has gotten himself worked up enough to throw up.

He did this at the last family birthday party at Jeremy and Wendy's house after we'd been there a while. During this time I couldnt get him to interact with anyone, talk to anyone or do anything other than cling to me. Well, I think I did manage to get him to say congratualtion to Wendy and Amber on their pregnancies but thats about it. I think the situation as a whole was just too much. The house is smaller than where we usually attend, and so even the same amount of people seem like more; everyone is talking to each other and *gasp* occasionally people even want to talk to HIM. He just shuts down. He can't even wrap his head around the situation much less answer questions.

The next time was our park visit a few weeks back. We had no sooner gotten there and given Mikey a french fry when he started throwing up. I got that under control and we continued with the visit. Heather playing with a little boy and having fun, Mikey sitting next to me asking when he could go home and get back on his computer. The difference here? Towards the end Mikey actually got up and started playing on some equipment on his own. He didn't interact with anyone, but he DID play and that's a big step?

The differences in those situations? One obviously is the amount of space around Mikey. I am sure he didn't feel quite so closed in and forced to cooperate at the park. (not saying anyone forces him to cooperate, but he may feel MORE forced in a smaller setting with lots of people).

Also I let him decide what he wanted to do. I didn't pester him. If he wanted to sit next to me the whole time, so be it. My ONLY goal for that outing was to get him out of the house. I had no expectations of him actually participating. I think by not placing too many demands on him he was able to relax and loosen up enough to play some at the end. Something I intend to remember at future gatherings.

These are just a few of the anxiety issues we deal with. In the test she had him take he scored low on physical anxiety but she thinks that is more than likely because with Asperger's, he doesn't recognize what he's feeling or dealing with or the different words that may be used to describe it.

Social anxiety he scored above average (duh). And separation anxiety was off the charts. Again, not surprising in the least. At one point she attempted to take him to a room right across from ours to do the test at a little table and he was freaking, although we did get him calm once he realized he could look up at any time and see me.

So she wanted to try him on a new sleeping medication. I had told her what Mikey is currently taking had its ups and downs. She put him on Remeron which is supposed to help with appetite and anxiety in addition to sleeping. I plan to start him on it tomorrow.

Hopefully I will see a few changes, appetite especially but socially as well.

Adam

2009-09-05T22:01:00.003-04:00

Today my Dad picked me up for some father daughter time that I remarked I didn't believe we had had since before Heather was born!

He took me to the restaurant of my choice (Olive Garden yummy!) and then we walked around the Winter Park village a little while until it was time to head into the theatre.

I knew this movie was gonna be rough from the time Dad first sent me the trailer. In reality it was a little like being emotionally backhanded.. hard.

Adam is a 29 yr old man with Asperger's Syndrome. In this movie he meets Beth, an NT (neurotypical) young woman for whom he develops an attraction and she with him. The movie focuses mostly on Adam and the social issues he has, with the relationship being the secondary plotline (to me anyways.. but it's also possible I viewed it that way because of Mikey).

I am honestly not sure I have ever had a harder time with a movie. From the opening scene till the end I think I was on the verge of crying 75% of the movie. The actor himself deserves an award for his unbelievably accurate portrayal of Asperger's. From the erratic eye contact to the difficulty expressing himself to the animated and run together sentences on a topic he was passionate about..Spot on.

There may be some spoilers past this point so stop reading if you plan to see this and don't like them.

I have always felt sympathy for people who got emotional during movies that touched on some major issue in their lives; cancer...suicide...rape.. etc etc. I didn't feel what they felt but I knew it must be hard. I was wrong. It's agonizing.

The scene where Adam slams his head against a mirror I had to close my eyes and just breathe. The scene where he covers his ears and starts melting down because he doesn't wanna move; where he lashes out at Beth because she lied to him.

The look on his face as he contemplates the thought of a social situation.. his anguish at being unable to make himself do something she's asked him to do. I wanted to reach thru the screen and hug him so many times.. and all I could think of was Mikey.

Was the movie all sad and anger? No. There were a number of funny scenes.. heartwarming scenes. So many times where I would chuckle because I could SO see Mikey doing that. But the future is always on my mind. I wanna be there for him.. help him. That's why I read every account of adult's with Asperger's I can find. And that's why I saw this movie. So I can understand him as much as possible and help him grow.

Anyone who has someone on the autism spectrum in their lives should see this movie, in my opinion. I would love for everyone in Mikey's life to see it (and thank you Granny and Grampy.. I love you guys so much). If the only thing you come away from this movie with is a realization of what it's like for my kid and thousands of others like him, then I am happy.

It didn't exactly end how I expected but instead, it ended better. With Adam in a better place than he had been. And Beth was reponsible for a large majority of that. If Mikey ends up where Adam does one day, I can rest easy.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

2009-07-15T21:59:00.002-04:00

I was fortunate that Jason is on vacation this week so that I was able to go see this movie on opening day. I have been excited for weeks!

There will be spoilers here so if you have only ever watched the movies (and don't already know whats coming) you may wanna stop here!!

My only real disappointment with the film is that it's just impossible to fit the entire book into 2 1/2 hours. So much happened before Harry ever got to school this year and that was briefly skimmed thru. I feel like if I hadn't read the book I'd be clueless as to what was going on but that's probably not the case, I am just sensing what's missing.

I think that given time constraints they did everything they could to get the important parts in but I MUST say.. I am thrilled Book 7 will be two movies so that hopefully more of the last book will be able to be shown on screen.

As for the movie itself? I thought it was great. Casting never ceases to amaze me.
Luna, one of my favorite characters, was wonderfully cast by Evanna Lynch and played to a T. She got a considerable amount of screen time this movie which I was pleased with (moreso than poor Neville).

Another big casting favorite of mine was Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange.

She is brilliant as the slightly deranged follower of Voldemort and nails the performance.

Casting I didn't see coming? Jessie Cave as Lavendar Brown.

She wasn't who I pictured at ALL the the love struck admirer of Ron but seeing it in action I felt alot better with the choice. She's a very pretty girl and did the ditzy affectionate role justice.

The camaraderie between the trio was there as always.

You wanted to cry with Hermione as Ron runs off with Lavendar and you cheered when he said Hermione's name is his sleep.

You clapped with the crowd as Ron got every catch in the Quidditch game. You felt your heart melt a little as Ginny kissed Harry in the Room of Requirement. Here's what I didn't understand though (and another casting win). How did Hermione NOT think Cormac Mclaggen (potrayed by Freddie Stroma) was a complete and total BABE??

Are you kidding me?? He's flat out yummy.

Anyways all in all my only complaint again is how much had to be cut out. The scenes were done well, graphics were great, all the actors did their roles wonderfully. I could have done with less of the Burrows burning down and more shirtless Mclaggen but hey, I am not the director.

The scene that sent chills up my spine and goosebumps all over was after Dumbledore died.. and Harry ran back to be at his side. And one by one... well.. you'll see. I wont ruin that one for you. Just remember I told you about it here first.

Autism Friendly Showing of HP6!!!!

2009-07-13T16:46:00.002-04:00

Seriously, you have NO idea how happy this makes me.

Autism Friendly Showing of Half Blood Prince at AMC Theaters

Now, this is not a movie I'd take Mikey too anyhow. Its much too harsh for him, and he doesn't separate reality from fantasy well at all yet.

But it's the point. The fact they are doing this is amazing. I am SO thrilled because it opens up the doors for similar showings with different movies. There's just really not words to express how much hope this gives me for kids with autism everywhere. Look... people are changing for you.. instead of making you change for them. Rock on.

And in other news, Mikey got two cavities filled Thursday. Some of you may remember the traumatic experience earlier this year that left us both in tears when a dentist attempted to do this with Mikey and was IMO way to harsh on him. I decided to go the sedation route because it just seemed way too much for Mikey to handle and I was not going to put him in a strait jacket like the dentist suggested (you're freaking kidding me right? Do parents DO that???)

So we finally got him in Thursday and it went wonderful. They had him drink some loopy medicine and we hung out in the waiting room for 30 mins then I took him back. They sealed up his four permanent teeth first, got a nitrous oxide supply going in his nose, numbed, shot up and filled first the big cavity then a small one.

Mikey did great. They let me stay the whole time and most of it I was at the head of his chair so he could always see me. I did not think they would let me do that so I was very grateful. They were wonderful with him, so attentive, praising him, patient.. it was worth the arm and a leg we are paying for it. I just pray we can keep his teeth clean enough to NOT need to do this again (well except for the 3rd we have to fill in August).

And in even BETTER news, a few weeks back I found out my stepsister Amber is pregnant. She'll be having a little girl due in November. And just yesterday at the family summer birthday party, I found out my SIL (stepbrother's wife) is also pregnant, due in February. So TWO cousins for my kiddoes in a matter of months. Wendy says shes having a boy based on the Chinese Birth Calendar. I guess we'll see!

So.. Aunt AnnMarie? Aunt Annie? Auntie Ann? I cant decide...

4th of July

2009-07-05T19:20:00.002-04:00

We had a pretty decent 4th of July. Up until the very last minute I hadn't decided whether we would go to an event they hold every year at out local park or not. Finally I decided to go, even if just for a few hours. It was hot and supposed to rain but I figured it's 5 minutes up the road if we needed to leave.

Plus.. getting Mikey out of the house and away from his computer is always a good thing.

So I told my Mom and she met us up there. They had lots of games for kids, bounce houses, coloring tents, water balloon tosses and more. There was music and tons of food.

It was hot but very breezy so not too bad. The kids played soccer with a ball Heather brought, we bought them a slice of pizza and some juice and we walked around, checking things out and getting freebies.

Finally we decided to go as Mikey was lamenting the fact that it was past 7 and he had not yet had his 7 o'clock snack and Heather wore herself out with sheer brattiness.

Once home we turned on the TV and PBS was airing their annual 4th of July concert near the state capital. When we turned it on they had Sesame street characters singing patriotic songs and the kids and I danced and sang along with them.

Then, they brought out the Jersey Boys. I was very interested in this seeing as how my Dad recently saw and reviewed Jersey Boys in his blog and it sounded wonderful.

They did a number of songs including "Walk Like a Man", "Sherry", "Oh What a Night" and more. The best part? The kids were dancing and singing along with me here too. Mikey kept asking me about them and I told him everything I knew. I told him he should ask Granddad about them too :P.

Once this was over we took the kids outside and let them watch both the fireworks from the park and ones our neighbors across the street were doing in their driveway. Mikey did very well with them but reached his capacity for stimulation in about 20 minutes and went inside. Heather stayed the whole time, laughing and jumping up and down yelling about how much she LOVED fireworks.

I got both kids to bed sometime after 9 and then spent a quiet night (ok, not so quiet with fireworks still going off) reading Forever Odd, the second in a series of "odd" books by Dean Koontz. I finished that today and am looking for the 3rd, hopefully the library has it (or Dad?).

In any case, had a very good holiday, hope you all did as well.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T19:09:00.004-04:00

It was a pretty unexpected shock yesterday to find out Michael Jackson had died. Jason called me from work telling me a coworker had told him he'd heard a few reports and wanted me to look and see what I could find on the computer.

The CNN front page reported a cardiac arrest and coma. When I clicked on the actual link however, it had changed to death.

I myself was never a huge fan of MJ but you have to admit he was an amazing performer who will be long remembered. Personally I never really believed all the bad things that were spread about him, but I guess you never know.

This is probably my favorite Jackson 5 song. My Dad played it alot as I was growing up and the first few notes already had you tapping your feet and bobbing your head.

Mikey's Birthday and More

2009-06-14T14:33:00.003-04:00

First things first, I know I should have posted this sooner but I have been having problems with my video card. It used to only manifest itself playing WoW (bad frame rate drops here and there) and got progressively worse till I couldnt raid anymore (you cant do anything at 1-2 fps.. you just cant).

Then there were the frequent times my monitor just went out. That sucked.

Turns out it had gotten so hot the fan on my card had melted off.. well the two pieces securing it in place had. I zip tied it back on (no laughing.. just dont). But it still had problems. I found out it was barely running. And sometimes flat out stopped.

I ended up buying a small personal fan and pretty much setting it right ON my video card. Amazingly that has done the trick so far. I have been able to raid again but I have been careful being on during the day. See this is pretty gheto and I can't afford a new video card right now so I am hoping this holds out until I can.

THAT'S why it has taken so long to post this.

Moving on..

Mikey's birthday was pretty low key. Since Mikey is such a stickler for celebrating ON the actual birthday, we took him to Chuck E Cheese. We hadnt been in forever and Jason's Mom had sent Mikey some birthday money So away we went. Mom met us there with some cupcakes and we had a very good time. Mikey got some new clothes from Grandma, and we had a good time playing games and eating pizza.

Afterwards we took Mikey to Toys R Us and let him pick out some toys. He got two new light sabers and a new Bionicle. Of course we had to buy Heather something too so we got her a new ball she wanted.

Then we battled traffic back home so Jason could get to work.

Here's some pictures both of CeC and Mikey's awards from a few weeks ago

And in other news. I hate my bank. They just took $100 from us because of that stupid rule about holds and authorizations. Let me lay this out for you and you tell me what you think.

Thursdays we had two things go on hold, for CEC and for gas. They considered that money gone even though TODAY they still have not actually hit my bank.

Thursday 3 things actually did hit my bank. Which we had the money to cover. But since those OTHER two things were on hold they bounced all three of them. Two small things, one big, of course they took the big one first.

So I got charged $100 for things that had they money to be covered if they werent considering my 'on hold' items already gone. ANd like I said, those still have not actually hit my bank (and since Jason got paid Friday, there's money for them now too).

Does that make ANY kind of stupid sense? Do we really have $100 to lose. No. Jason got some OT this week luckily and I thought "hey some extra money" for like.. maybe a video card (more than likely would have gone to the kids but I can dream). But now, no extra money.

Yeah, we got food, we got bills paid, we got gas... but shit $100 is a lot to us. However this has spurred me to find a new bank. One that doesn't consider the money out of your bank account till it's actually out of your bank account. Doesn't that not seem fair?

I got a postcard last week about getting $100 if you open a checking account and add direct deposit with Washington Mutual. I threw it away cause I wasn't expecting to hate my bank so soon. I am gonna call them tomorrow, see what THEIR policy is on holds and perhaps I can get in on that deal and make that $100 back.

But if you have one of those cards by any chance and wont be using it, I would love to have it just in case they need some code to make it happen.

So it's like.. my birthday and shit....

2009-06-01T01:22:00.003-04:00

34 sucks...

Well I have only been 34 90 minutes but I dont like it. If I didn't still get carded for beer I might emo and kill myself.

Sorry, guildmates rubbing off on me.

Its not that bad. My Dad and stepmom asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I asked for printer cartridges so I can print coupons and save more money. They got what I wanted.. plus a gift certificate for Amazon that I used to buy two books I wanted.

Love you guys.

My Mom took Mikey yesterday and came back with him today. She had got me a GT Express 101 which I very excited about trying. In a surprise I wasn't expecting, she brought along a gift my brother had bought me before he left, a unicorn figure. It's beautiful.

Jason got me a new pair of sunglasses. It sounds dumb but I told him I didn't want him to get me anything and he did anyways... cause... if I don't lose sunglasses I break them. So... now I have a new pair lol.

My favorite gift so far... is from Mikey. My Mom had him write me a card about why he loves Mommmy. I laughed and cried... here lemme type it out. This is ALL HIM word for word.

The Things I like best about my Mommy are:

1) I love her very much
2) She is the best Mommy on the world wide web
3) She is the best Mommy in the whole wide world
4) She gives me chocolate milk whenever I need it
5) She always tries to answer my emails whenever I send her one. Sometimes she forgets
6) She helps me take my shower each night

And lots of other things...maybe..

How do you not love that?

Its not even 2 hours into my birthday... and I feel alot of love. It cant really go down from here can it??

Wel I *am* 34... ugh

I'm On YouTube!

2009-05-29T10:53:00.002-04:00

Well sorta.. more on that later.

Our Memorial Day weekend was good. Mom came over Monday we grilled burgers, sausages and hot dogs. She also brought a pineapple cake that was delicious. We watched The Express which was a VERY good movie imo.

Mom brought a friend and while I was a tad bit anxious at first about having someone he'd never met in the house. But when the guy came in Mikey ran right up, stuck out his hand and said "Hi, I am Mikey, whats your name?". I think my jaw hit the floor.

I have started using a Coupon Clipping service rather than buy papers as much because sometimes there are REALLY good deals out there and I don't wanna get just ONE or Two. So Wednesday I went out and tried this. I got

22 Aunt Jemima Frozen Breakfasts
12 Kraft BBQ sauce
4 Ragu Pasta sauce
2 A-1 Steak Sauce
2 Kraft Salad Dressing
1 Digiorno Flatbread
1 Powerade

Before sales and coupons my total was $100 and some change (of course I wouldn't have bought the stuff if it wasn't on sale, just making a point). After sales it was $53. After coupons? Right around $20. The kids love the breakfasts, I have BBQ out the ass and enough sauce and condiments to last me quite some time.

So yeah. My guild went into 10 man Ulduar Wednesday night with one goal. Take down XT in hard mode. You can do the dungeon on either 10 or 25 man and each has an easy mode and a hard mode. The hard mode adds more things to move from, kill, heal through etc etc. It also rewards one extra piece of loot and on 10 man, gives you the 25 man emblem (emblems are turned in for different gear).

We spent an hour and a half on it and when we got it down.. it was sweeeet. It was recorded by our shammy and posted on youtube. I don't expect you to watch the whole 8 minute fight but you can actually kinda see me.

Most of the video the raid is behind XT, the tank in front, where you cant see him. If you look up to the right hand side of the boss you can see me. I light up alot healing. I stand there so if I get bombed (which requires you to move away from the raid) I dont have to stop tank healing. I just heal myself through it.

(I am Kynsie in the list of names!)

Anyways, I was very proud of us. We are currently 10/14 10 man and 8/14 25 man but Thorim is going down tonight!

Mommy, I am looking at you because I love you

2009-05-21T16:41:00.004-04:00

That's what I heard today while getting Mikey's stuff ready for school. He can say the sweetest things sometimes.

Yesterday we made apple pie. The kids were very excited about it.. they helped me roll out the pie crust, spoon the filling in and criss cross the lattice across the top. While eating his Mikey said "You're the best apple pie maker EVER!"... you'd have thought it was from scratch but I'll take it.

He's not alone.. Heather will often come running from any direction and plow into me while expressing her love. It's very... energetic. Occasionally painful ><

Its been an interesting few weeks. Mikey missed every day of school last week. I tried to send him a few times and he kept getting sent back home. I finally just said screw it and didn't send him back till Monday, when he had FINALLY stopped coughing.

This week it has rained (like thunderstorms) ALL day EVERY day since Monday. We saw the sun for a small time this afternoon but it is cloudy again and the weekend is supposed to be the same.

Anyone doing anything fun for the holiday weekend? Mom is taking Mikey over Sunday night. I might try to get some burgers to grill, we'll see I guess. Have a great weekend and holiday!!

Happy Mother's Day!!

2009-05-10T17:23:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone is enjoying their Mother's day. I got to sleep in, which I usually do on Sunday's anyways but still nice. I got a sweet card Mikey made at school for me and a bouncy three year old on my chest when I woke up. Also, a bunch of Happy Mother's Day texts on my phone!

Originally we were going to do our yearly Sonny's BBQ trip with Mom.. however Jason is sick and Mikey was protesting. Mom suggested I order take out and bring it back so that is what I did. Feast for four and sweet tea, yummy!!

Mom was going to take both kids Friday night to give me a night off but Mikey got really sick at school Thursday. He was running a fever, coughing bad and throwing up.

Here's a fun fact. If your kid throws up on your cell phone, it is probably not going to work anymore.

So Mom only took Heather (which, trust me, is STILL relaxing) and Mikey stayed home with me. I asked her to pick up some medicine, sprite and applesauce on her way over. She arrived with three kinds of kids medicine, two kinds of adult medicine, disinfecting wipes, Lysol, cracker, applesauce, sprite, a board game and two DVD's.

...

Thanks Mom.

So Heather developed a runny nose at Mom's house and by the time Saturday rolled around, Jason was feeling like shit too. I still am fine. My friend Heather Anne theorized Moms always get sick last so we can take care of everyone else first. I think she's right.

I hope everyone else had a good day as well!!

This year's IEP

2009-04-23T09:49:00.002-04:00

Just got back from this year's IEP meeting. It went well overall. The usual "Mikey get's everything about the English language down pat except creativity and comprehension" "Mikey does great at math, word problems becoming an issue" etc etc.

There were a few new things. His teacher talked about another little boy who came in for resource and was also exceptionally intelligent but emotionally disabled and would often have meltdowns resulting in having to move the kids or change plans. Mikey would write about how he felt ("So and So messed up the classroom AGAIN!" or "So and So yelled and hurt my ears")... but over time.. actually ended up befriending the child. He still didn't like how he acted but he approached the child, he initiated activities and played with the child. It helped the kid also knew about computers but either way.. it's a huge step for Mikey.

His teacher said of all the kids she has taught over the years (15 if I recall) that Mikey had the most potential. That was a proud Mama moment, let me tell you. As for next year, he is gonna stay in a mild ESE classroom, but this is the 3-5 grade bracket. I wasn't even aware they HAD such a bracket for milder kids and I assumed he'd be headed into general education, which we had talked about.

But as she was never able to outsource him for math or reading this year (teachers were either unable or unwilling to take on another student) she wasn't ready to make that move for him yet. It's a goal for next year and she has actually written INTO his IEP to be outsourced for math and they will have to take him, but she already knows a teacher she is aiming to get him with, who has worked alot with ASD kids in the past and actually enjoys having them.

The good news is he'll almost be in the same classroom. The set up that it is now it's a huge room with a long wall and the other classroom is right on the other side. He already knows the teacher well and he will be close to Ms Korfage to help with the transition. ALSO, one of this best friends from last year who moved up to 3rd grade is in the class and he will be able to spend more time with him.

Next year is the FCAT.. *sighs* I am gonna be working alot with Mikey over the summer, they are sending stuff home to help get him ready, so that he can take this test. It's not a matter of whether he is smart enough to pass (duh) it's whether he can TAKE the test the way it's presented. They showed me all the accommodations they will be making to ensure he does his best and I am satisfied they are doing the best they can. I am still worried.

Anyways, it was a good visit and now I am egtting ready to send the kids to my Dad and stepmom's for the night WOOT!!!

Very Disturbed.. this and that

2009-04-22T01:29:00.002-04:00

So I got a call from Stephanie around 11 pm tonight. The reason for the call?

My senior year boyfriend and prom date was arrested on child porn charges.

Can you say wow? I was like... OMFG.. I am glad I didn't sleep with him...

And in other news. Easter went well. We left Mikey and Jason home cause Mikey was having a bad day.. in retrospect I felt bad cause MY DAD WAS HERE!!!! Even still tough, it might not have been pretty. I was thrilled to see him though and Heather did very well. She's so damn cute.. noone has a clue what a monster she is..

Mikey had an appt with a special needs pediatric dentist.. they nearly fell over themselves after his initial consult about how smart he must be, they couldn't believe it. They had him 20 minutes I don't even know what he must have said.

Long story short.. its gonna cost a bundle.. if I am lukcy medical will handle the $1000 to sedate him for 90 minutes.. add that to $1000 dentist fees.. to do the three cavities and seal his back four permanent teeth so they dont get cavities.

If they dont I will be attempting the oral sedative first. Mikey did amazing with them.. so much better than the douchebag I first took him to. They obviously know what they are doing and he might be ok. I guess we'll see.

And potty training.. Heather will pee on the potty but not the other. I have tried numerous times and she is very scared about it. I imagine its typical, not knowing what this is coming out of you ... I have gotten her on the potty a few times for it but she freezes up.

I am considering naked day. I finally got her to relent to training pants but she doesn't use them as intended. She might as well be naked, I don't think she'll poop on the floor (I hope).

Today was fairly productive. I cleaned from top to bottom. Heather helped. In the future she's getting a tiny bottle of water cause all she wants to do it spray and wipe. But I cleaned kitchen, bathrooms, living room and got a bit of laundry done.

Then the kids helped me make cookies. They turned out more like.. sugar cookie muffins but not very sweet and Mikey loves them. I also made a big batch of pancakes to freeze, Mikey eats those like crazy.

I will try to blog more, when I get texts about whether my computer is broke or not I guess I am not blogging enough >< (Thanks Steph).

bang That's my head on the desk.

2009-04-08T15:33:00.002-04:00

I was rolling through my RSS reader today trying to catch up on the 225 feeds sitting there. It seems like a lot? Well besides friends and family blogs I subscribe to frugal living blogs, recipe blogs, recipe websites, Harry Potter news, World of Warcraft news and some autism related sites.

When I came across this I very visibly twitched. Then I sighed. Then.. *bang*

Can I enter to win and then rip it into a thousand pieces? No? Kthxnvm.

Bah..

It's World Autism Awareness Day!

2009-04-02T15:25:00.003-04:00

And as I sit here letting Mikey tell me exactly what I need to do with my computer I can't help but smile.. and alternately worry about his future.

In any case, regardless of all the struggles we go through I feel blessed to have him.. I have learned so much from him and I am betting I have more to learn.

That's my boy.

A Very Bad Dentist Trip

2009-03-31T17:31:00.002-04:00

Today was Mikey's first appointment to have a cavity removed. I could tell he was having a bad day to start out with but we went ahead anyhow.

Basically, long story short, by the time it was over I was screaming at them to let him go, we were both crying and Mikey could barely breathe from how upset he was.

They did try ways to get him to be ok, they explained things over and over but Mikey's mouth is a big problem and while he's really never had a problem with the dentist, they numbed his mouth (can you imagine how that must feel with sensory issues?) clamped some silver thing in his mouth, covered it with some latex or rubber coating I mean..I don't blame him.

They gave him sunglasses, a mirror to see what was going on, the whole nine yards but he was very very VERY upset and then they suggested some restraint device so he couldn't move his arms.

I will be damned if I am putting my child (autistic or not) in a strait jacket so he can't move and letting you guys go at it. No freaking way, he'd be traumatized (if he isn't already).

Am I overreacting? I felt they were way to rough with him (trying to hold his head down and turn him to face them) a little too sharp in their tone like they were frustrated with him and then angry at me for not MAKING him do it.

I didn't WANT to sedate him but I don't want to ever do THAT to him again. I said we could come back on his next scheduled visit, try again. But I don't know if I ever wanna go back there again or if he'd even walk in the door.

And Other Added Stress

2009-03-26T00:59:00.003-04:00

Jason's job is precarious. They've lost a number of good accounts, laid off a bunch of people. Jason's job isnt necessarily subject to layoff.. he's been there a long time....but what if they go under? What if they sell out? We're not sure what we would do as we barely manage now and a job loss.. we'd likely lose the house.

I don't care that much about the house. I don't like it, I don't think we were ready. But if our credit gets mangled, we're screwed to rent as well. Sure, we could stay with my Mom, all four of us in one room, chillin... but I'd rather not.

Oh and.. back last month, when the shit with the car happened, I forgot to take my BC pill for four days that week. I take it for regularity and help with PMS symptoms, obviously Jason is snipped so no pregnancy worries.

SO after that week I decided to just wait until I got my period and start again. But.. I never got it..

As it stands now I am 3 weeks late. I was slightly freaking. I told Jason and said I wanted to get a pregnancy test. He's like "Why, you can't be pregnant??""

"Yes I can, it's happened..that stuff grows back sometimes."

"Well, how would I know if that happened??"

"..... when I got pregnant....."

*crickets*

So, against his better judgement (Thats $10 we can spend better elsewhere!!!!).. I got a pregnancy test. My idea??

It will tell me one way or the other. 3 weeks late, no way to be wrong... it either say NOT PREGNANT and I can relax or it says PREGNANT and we can start getting ready.

Thank God.. it was a big fat NOT PREGNANT.

So after that (crying tears of relief).. I called my Gynecologist. Explained the situation.. I know I am not pregnant, but I messed up with BC pills and would like to know what I can do to get back on track.

"Oh, hey, you are due for your annual"

"Shit.. I mean yeah.. ok.. let's schedule that"

So I will be going next Tuesday for my exam and to discuss this. If I have not yet started they can possibly give me something to get me going.

Anyone see why my stress levels are through the roof???

Failing As A Parent

2009-03-24T00:13:00.002-04:00

You guys know me. You know I do all my research.. I have tons of sites I visit, RSS feeds, CNN articles everything I can learn about Autism I do.

And still.. I am completely at a loss. Mikey has gotten into this phase where he talks about killing himself.. or someone killing him. He wants to die. He wants to find a gun. I HATE saying this but I have to get it out because I do NOT know what to do.

He says he hates his face. After further questioning apparently it has to do with Jason teasing him. (at least that he can recall). Jason has always teased, he teases them both and for Jason it's like "I tease you because I love you".

But Mikey doesn't get it. He used to be ok with teasing and wrestling. Now he hates it. He loves Jason but he is always complaining that 'Daddy is too rough, Daddy doesn't like my face, Daddy is too much for me'.. it hurts Jason alot because Jason adores him. And he can't understand what to do to get closer to Mikey. He wants to spend time with him, do things as a father and son but Mikey doesn't do the 'normal' things. And Jason is having trouble connecting with him on another level.

I got called by his teacher a few weeks ago. I cried for almost an hour after. They had to legally ask me if we had guns in the house due to what Mikey was saying. We don't but honestly, I barely held back tears on the phone as they described to me everything going on. I had to go in the morning, sign paperwork, and they handed me a paper that dealt with therapy.. family and single.. to help with things.

Guys, I am at a loss. I watch him, my amazing, super smart adorable Mikey cry about how he hates himself and I wanna cry with him. WHY?? What did we do? All I ever do is tell him how smart he is.. smart enough so that I can't even help him sometimes. I hug and kiss him all the time.. I do everything I can to be there for him, talk to him (even if its on Yahoo....) I mean...he's SEVEN.. Seven year olds don't hate themselves do they???

I have talked to one or two people.. one says his daughter (now 13) was like that from about 5 on.. shes not autistic, its just how she was. He is hoping she had cleared that hurdle but he understands how hard it is too.

And for my parents.. I am sorry :( You guys know what I mean.

So I am seriously thinking now about some therapy for him (and us as a family). I don't know the cost, don't know how that covers thru insurance or FSA but I can't stand another day of my baby saying he wants to die. I want him to love himself and be happy. Whatever the cost.

Heather's 3 yr Dr visit.. late

2009-03-19T00:31:00.002-04:00

Ok I suck at making dr visits. Heather is on the delayed vax schedule and isnt going to preschool so I forget.

Regardless she had her 3 yr appt today. She's 39 lbs and 39 inches long (3 ft 3 in). Folks she is like 12 lbs less than Mikey. He needs to eat more.

Of course she is progressing in everything, no worries. She told the nurse and Dr about her recent knee injury (she had a nasty fall running across the street for Mikey's bus.. yes I hold her hand but at the last minute she let go, tripped and dug a hole in her knee. The lady who lives at the house and has a son going there is a nurse and patched her up, it was bad).

She told them she was learning to potty (Bullshit.. ok she does when she wants but she will only wear panties for like 2 mins and rarely comes to tell me to go potty.. I am on her ass and still I miss it.. UGH)...and of course she's smart. She had her 3rd Polio vaccine to get also.

Not one to lie, I told her she'd have a little hurt but then it would be done and she's get a lollipop. Nothing tears you up more than hearing her scream, promising her it's over and having her ask in between sniffles "It's *sniff hic* all *sniffle* done Mommy???" Yes baby.. all done.. let's get your lollipop.

Then she was ok. So she's happy, healthy.. typical bratty 3 yr old.

Tomorrow Mikey sees the Ped dentist for his cavity..

Heather Can Spell Her Name!

2009-03-17T19:22:00.002-04:00

So Heather likes to go sites like noggin.com, pbskids.org and nickjr.com and play the games. Alot of them are very educational and she has learned to read a little, sound out letters, match patterns, etc etc.

Alot of the sites want you to put your name in and I got tired of getting up all the time to type it for her. So a few weeks ago I said "You try it... what does Heather start with?" I expected her to get this because when we practice alphabet I would often say "H is for Heather!"

So she said H and typed it in. Then I said "What's next?" and she said E! She missed the A and the 2nd H but all on her own she spelled 'Heter" which is pretty darn good I thought.

So ever since then I have practiced with her when she needed to type her name and she can now successfully spell her whole first name. I am very proud of her!!

The Key

2009-03-13T00:41:00.000-04:00

So.. every week when we down 25 man Sapphiron, a key drops.. not only does it grant the user (and the raid) the chance to fight Malygos but it gives the user their Best In Slot neckpiece when they DO defeat Malygos.

And every week the officers of the guild do a vote on who should get the key this week. Then the Guld Leader gives a nice speech on why said person is getting the key and everyone says "Awwwww".

So this week she starts talking. "Ok well, I know I usually have all these nice things to say about the person who gets the key but this week it's going to the biggest pervert in the guild" and immediately three people on vent say "KYNSIE!" "It's Kynsie!!" and I got like 3-4 whispers "GRATS!!"... um..

Ok so yeah I got it but LOL.. she did say some nice things about me afterwards :/

Speaking of Wow I thought I would throw a screenshot up, this is Kel'Thuzad, for those who play WoW and read my blog. If you don't feel free to ignore!

SO how do I play like that?? Let me tell you. Across the top is Fubar, tracks a ton of addons, my money, my locations, the guild, my auctions, etc etc.

I use Pitbull for raid frames, shows my party across the top. ORA2 provides my tank list, going down the left side. The Range Check is just for that fight, I need to be 10 yards away from everyone else. That tiny brown box that says "Kel ' Thuzad?" thats Omen.. it detects threat levels so you know if (as DPS) you need to back off. I never measure as a healer so I barely look at it.

Across the bottom I have Autobar first off, which has all my consumables, quest items, pots, a few spells and buffs. Underneath, there are 3 boxes (provided by eepanels). The first box contains all my spells and buffs again, pots, etc. It may seems stupid to have two ways to get it but I use both things for different items. I would like to consolidate one day but I havent yet.

Middle box is my chat and combat logs, any guild/raid/party chat and also what goes on in combat.

Last box is my baby. My Healbot. Say what you will Grid and Clique users, I cant change. I have 3 spells bound to my right/middle and left mouse keys, my most used spells. I hover over a name in the frame, click what I need to click and they get healed.

If I add Shift, alt or ctrl with a mouse key, new things happens. I can Shift right click and shield.. I can Ctrl left click and Prayer of Mending.. and on and on. That is the majority of what I use right there. Healbot = <3.

Going up the right side is Elkanos Buff Bars.. they tell me every single buff I have and for how long.. you can also get rid of them by right clicking. And above that my mini map. Which is useless to me because I fucking get lost EVERYWHERE. Its my other MO "Kynsie the perv and yeah, she gets lost everywhere".

The combat text in the middle shows whats going on at the time. Anything going to the left is fading, the the right is gained. It used to annoy me but now I love it.

Anyways thats my UI.. I am loking to tweak and change it some if anyone has any great addons they like, I would love to know.

Also WTB raid member who can "GET OUT OF A FUCKING VOID ZONE OR FLAME WALL ALREADY WTF"

Thanks...

A Family Outing (Of the Not-So-Pleasant Kind)

2009-03-10T18:38:00.002-04:00

This morning we all got up early, even Jason, for a family trip to... the dentist.

Good times? Yeah, not really but it had to be done. I moved the kids over here so we could all be in the same place. We have gone for years and took the kids to a pediatric dentist mainly for worries over Mikey (which have never really been an issue).

They took Jason back first and then came for Heather. She went back just fine, got in the chair and would let them in to count her teeth but that was it. Nothing else. They asked about previous dental experiences and I said yeah, I usually had to hold her so they could clean her teeth.

They do NOT do that here. I have to say I always felt bad, now I feel worse. She said they only do what the kids can handle and let them get comfortable. She didn't think Heather honestly should have even been going that early except maybe for the sole purpose of getting used to being there. I thought I was doing the right thing :( I am glad we moved them now though.

Mikey, as usual, did fine. He let them take X-rays, showed them where he was worried a tooth hadn't come in yet and they showed him x-rays of the tooth VERY close to breaking through.They got all his cleaning done and said he had a cavity :( It's his very first one.

They said they noticed plaque also and I told them that yes, he will let me brush his teeth but you cant spend long in his mouth before he starts to wig out. I guess I need to work a little bit harder. They suggested a Pedodontist for his filling, as he would likely need to be sedated and they don't do that with kids.

Then it was my turn. I got my usual lecture about flossing (yes yes I know I should). I always start out great but after a few months it dwindles off. So I have renewed my efforts yet again.

Anyways, not the most wonderful family outing I could have imagined but at least we know our teeth are clean!

Harry Potter Trailer!!

2009-03-06T01:06:00.000-05:00

http://mugglenet.com/app/news/full_story/2214

OMG.. I cannot wait..

Sibling Conflict

2009-03-04T01:04:00.003-05:00

I don't care what my parents say. Heather is the devil and she's nothing like I was.

Everything coming out of her mouth is a scream, a hair toss, arms crossed, chin jutted out. She believes she is fully correct on any issue and everyone else is wrong.

I don't hit my kids but I have had to yank her up and physically move her at times when she would just flat out stick her feet in somewhere she shouldn't be and refuse to move. She's got attitude, arrogance and way too much of both.

Mikey was never like this. He has his issues today but even still. Pretend to be ME..for one second.

Mikey at home on the computer.. Heather running around playing....me cleaning/laundry/whatever... Heather will be messing around and make some noise Mikey doesn't like. The SECOND she finds out he doesn't like it... she amplifies it and does it faster.

So then I am trying to hush her up, move her to her room, encourage Mikey to ignore her, ANYTHING...and I get that under control.

While moving laundry from washer to dryer Mikey starts to freak out. Heather is playing with the cable wires..fine I pick her up and move her but within seconds she goes RIGHT back.. watches Mikey...and picks up a wire.

I get Heather settled, dinner done, dishes going in the washer, kids fed, etc etc. Mikey says "Heather needs to go to bed".. SCREAMS like you would not believe ensue.. I try to ask Mikey NOT to say that.. I will get her to bed. But every night, more than once "NO Heather its bedtime" "SCREAMMMMMMMMMM"... and on and on..

Neither of them are saints. They bait the other, say things, throw things, engage in arguments I ask them to ignore.. but every single day I deal with them. When they interact together...it's great. They play together wonderful (when they want).

Any other time... it's like a mission to drive me insane.

I can have xanax please??

Stupid Car, Sick Kid and My List..

2009-02-24T00:52:00.002-05:00

So.. we picked up the car Saturday. They had it since Monday. We didn't get it home before more problems started happening.

It stalled, it jumped, it ran like crap. They sent a tow truck out, took Jason back with them, he sat there for 3 hours before they told him it wasnt anything THEY did.. we also needed an ignition coil.

At this point Jason told them to take it out of the garage and leave it in the parking lot. It may or may not be true (he changed one a year ago without being aware you should change two at a time) but that was NOT the entire issue.

My Mom came out Saturday and took him to get the coil, put it in and everything. Still didn't run.. but the service engine light wasn't on anymore. So he came home.

Sunday he took the Caddy up and put some gas in, thinking maybe sitting with a low gas tank had anything to do with it. It gave him a bit of trouble and then..nothing. No problems. He ran it all over their parking lot,. gunned it, braked it, did anything he could think of.. no problems.

Except a vibration in the throttle body. We are still almost certain they messed something up but we don't want them touching our car anymore. He came back home with the Caddy (after informing me I was never to drive in it anywhere again) and my Mom came and got him to get our car.

He drove to work and back just fine. So, I don't know. I am sure some work needed to be done I just wish it hadn't wipe out our entire refund.

Oh and Mikey has been sick. Friday night and Saturday night throwing up.. I gave him a cup of water at one point and he tossed it in less than a minute. My Mom came back after taking Jason to the car with some Pepto Bismol, applesauce, crackers and Sprite. He perked up not long after taking the Pepto and has been fine since.

Speaking of Mikey.. I have not been shopping all wek except for a mini race run thru Publix in 20 minuets between getting a rental car and Jason going to work Friday. I told him today I was going shopping tomorrow and if he wanted something to let me know.

He didn't just 'let me know'... he made a list. In Notepad. And sent it to me via Yahoo. Here it is:

Contents Of What I Want Mommy To Buy At Tues (Some Stuff Needs You To Wait Til It Comes)
============================================

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

2. Trix Cerial

3. Cocoa Puffs

4. Soda (The Soda You're Gonna Be Is For Me [Put Them In Somewhere Else])

5. Juicy Juice (All Flavors Of Juicy Juices)

6. Fruit Loops

7. Rice Krispies

8. Ice Cream (All Flavors)

9. Easy Mac Or Macaroni And Chesse

10. Windows 7 (Wait For Real Windows 7 To Come)

11. CheeseBurgers

12 (Last One). Windows VISTA (For Now Until Un-Beta Of Windows 7 Comes)

13. The End.

How do you not love this kid? "I am going shopping what do you want?" ..."Windows..."...yeah..

Vegetarian?

2009-02-20T01:47:00.003-05:00

Mikey had a bad day at school a few days ago. I sent him a hot dog for lunch. I guess at one point a child mentioned kicking his cat and Mikey strongly objected. He's very sensitive to any living thing. SO then another child mentioned Mikey was eating an animal...

Mikey got very upset.. I am not even gonna say what happened because I am not happy he takes this approach to issues but it wasn't good.

So he's talking to me later. He doesn't know hot dogs are animals..he also eats chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers. I am starting to worry because quite honestly if he connected them...I am almost certain he would NOT eat them.

How do I explain to him? How do I say "Yes, cheeseburgers are cows and.. chicken nuggets are chickens.. " I am pretty sure he'd be scarred. I don't know what to do...So I am researching vegetarianism.

So one day... when he gets it and decides he won't eat it... I have other options. I can show him whats ok to eat and what isn't. I can set him at ease. I am fairly certain once he understands he is eating animals.... he will be DONE.

Cause this is the kid who freaks out if he thinks a bug is near him but won't let me kill it.. I have to catch it and set it out to find its family. There was an almost dead dragonfly in the road one morning waiting for the bus.. I promised him he was going to find his mommy and as soon as he got off the bus that afternoon he looked. The dragonfly was gone and I told him he had found his Mommy. Of course he hadn't.But Mikey needed that reassurance.

So once he gets that he is eating animals.... I am pretty sure he will stop. I worry about what he's gonna say to anyone else eating them ><

Rough Couple of Days

2009-02-18T17:27:00.002-05:00

Ugh it's been a really crappy few days. Turns out there's alot more that needs to be done to the car. Jason is a bit stubborn and he must have visited the auto place countless times and demanded to know exactly what they were doing and why. They did show him and when he said he believed them (cause for a while we weren't sure if they were pulling something or not) then I felt better.

However it's still twice what I thought it was gonna be. And when you factor in having to rent a car for two days that didn't help. My neck pain is still bad.. it lessens here and there but I can't turn my neck without pain and it often just hurts when I am doing nothing. The headache above my eye also comes and goes. Both flare up in times of extreme stress, which has obviously been alot the last few days.

Oh and I had to reformat my computer last night. Right before a raid. WoW is my escape remember? I kept getting MBR errors and finally had no choice. Luckily my WoW is on another hard drive so at least I didn't have to reinstall that. I am reformatting that drive currently as I froze up again today and I wanted all bases covered.

I have sat down and cried a few times, I wont lie. Between the physical pain, the stress, the frustration and the kids (who have not been THAT bad but even a little is hard right now) I just let myself go.

I had plans for that money. It's not the end of the world though. I was gonna get Heather some more summer clothes. She has some though, and it's not like I don't do laundry every day regardless. I was gonna stock up on some food and household items, to free up some money from Jason's paycheck, but now I will just have to buy it like I always do. I was gonna pay off some small credit we had so we wouldn't have the monthly payments anymore, but we'll just keep making the payments.

I am most upset by not being able to pay my Dad back. I know he doesn't care but he got us out of a few jams last year and it's important to me that he knows I am not just sponging off him or something.

I was gonna get a Sunday paper subscription so I wouldn't have to worry about running out for coupons. Now I'll run out. I was gonna cut our cable down to just basic and get the unlimited Netflix plan with the box ($100) they send to feed directly to your TV. So Jason could watch any movies he wanted and also current shows and movies. It would cut our cable bill in half but we'd be getting more. I think we're still gonna cut the cable and maybe even still get the Netflix unlimited but we can't buy the box. It's not the end of the world.

My shoes have holes in them and I was gonna buy a new pair. But as Jason says, I have a perfectly good pair in the closet I rarely wear because they hurt my feet. Probably because I never broke them in. So now I will break them in.

I wanted to give Jason a few hundred dollar to buy some new speakers he really wanted. And now I guess he'll be ok with what he has.

As long as we get the car back. We have the money to fix it (i.e. nothing else huge crops up) and it runs well for a long time.. none of it is the end of the world. But it doesn't mean I am not sad about it.

And there goes the refund..

2009-02-16T15:42:00.003-05:00

We just got our tax refund Friday. It was a pretty decent amount. It's just about gone.

Between paying back some money owed, paying some bills, and splurging a little over the weekend on the kids.. then we got hit with this.

The car broke down on the way to work today. Looks like the Timing belt. Between towing it home (almost $200) and the cost to replace that, the water pump, some cam sensor and whatever else is all in the same area, we're looking at almost $1000.

Oh and Jason is missing a day of work over this.

*cry*

I still need to buy Heather some summer clothes, I desperately need new shoes and I wanted to stock up on some things at BJ's we won't have much left. Oh well, I guess we're at least lucky to have it when it happened, right?

My Headaches

2009-02-16T11:30:00.002-05:00

Long time readers (and my family)know I have had migraines pretty much all my adult life. Causes generally include stress and lack of sleep. They can range from mild to debilitating and one day to four.. No fun.

Some of the worst ones have the pain above one of my eyes.. generally my right eye. It makes it hard to focus on anything, like driving, reading, computers, etc. In a new development I woke up Saturday (yes, woke up) with a headache and pain at the base of my skull.

I thought maybe I slept wrong or something but it hasn't gone away. I spent Saturday, Sunday and am still today dealing with the pain in my neck as well as pain over my right eye (the neck pain is also on the right side).

So I finally looked it up. Hey guess what.. theres a nerve that goes from above my eyes to the base of my skull. The Occipital nerve. It's the cause of Occipital Neuralgia.

From the looks of it I have been dealing with it for years but only around my eyes and sometimes the back of my head (towards the top). Never this new pain in my neck. It says it is usually a result of some trauma. I can't think of a single thing that could be except possibly about 5 years ago when we got rear ended on the way to Mikey's therapy. It wasn't serious, but I had neck pain for the rest of the day. That's all though.

Before that, I couldn't tell you if my migraines had any focus like they do now. So it's kind of up in the air. All I know is, I don't like it. It's hard to do anything except lay around in the dark with heating pads and as you know, with kids, you can't do that for long. I bought some Icy Hot patches today and that is actually helping some with my neck. But I smell awful :(

So a trip to the Dr is probably gonna be in order. At least we got the FSA going this year!

Mikey's Dr Visit

2009-01-31T14:57:00.003-05:00

Well he gained a pound and grew half an inch. That's in the last 4 months and made the Dr happy. Seriously though he needs to stop growing up and start growing OUT or he's gonna be A) wearing pants that barely cover his ankles or B) wearing pants I need suspenders to hold up.

I told the Dr I felt like these meds were beginning the road to wearing off. I remember the signs from last time which were very inconsistent and over time grew to be a real problem. She said there are some kids whose bodies just adjust over time no matter what and meds need to be switched out every 4-6 months or so. I am not sure that's a great idea unless maybe it was the same two meds. I said I wasn't too concerned now and we'd see how he was at his next appointment in May.

I also mentioned some anxiety issues I have been seeing in him. Things like freaking out over a hair being on him (even if one isn't), covering his mouth every time you open a door outside cause a bug might fly in his mouth (he doesn't do this outside), and general overreaction to things that may not even really be a possibility.

She said that was often a concern with autistics and could be addressed with .. you guessed it.. more medication. I told her it wasn't that bad now but if it got worse we could see then.

She also wanted another IQ test done on him. She said there was no way the one that was done a few years ago could be right (its pretty low) and was more than likely the result of someone testing him who did not know HOW to test him.. you know, they tested him like every other kid, not someone who may need things worded differently or gets easily overwhelmed when you ask too many things in too short of a period and then shuts down.

So I am gonna talk to his teacher about it, see if they can test him in segments (maybe 20 minutes one day, 20 minutes a few days later) and knows how to ask him questions where he understands but it doesn't give away the answer. His Dr mentioned gifted classes but I don't know how I feel about that quite yet. I think he needs social skills more but it's all moot unless he was tested properly anyways.

If there IS a proper way to IQ test an autistic..

Anyways, overall good visit!

If you dont play Wow

2009-01-27T02:23:00.000-05:00

You won't care about most of this post. So I will post the non WoW stuff first and you may feel free to disregard :P

We've been sick. Heather first. It started with some sneezing and coughing. It led to me tricking her into medicine (those melt on your tongue strips.."Here baby close your eyes and open your mouth I got candy"... she hated me..).. This was towards the end of the week.

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat like you wouldn't believe. Sifting thru two shelves of medicine.. all childrens..I finally found some generic theraflu and nearly swallowed it whole. The baby was up on and off a few nights, I felt like death warmed over.. Mikey coughed but otherwise appeared to suffer no ill effects and Jason never gets sick so.. whatever.

Mikey's report card was all B's..meanwhile he is writing programs on his computer I don't even understand.

And WOW... ok.. Kynsie.. (my 2nd toon but for the most part my considered 'main') hit 80 back last year... I dunno.. December. I have two other 70's.. Karielle (my first ever toon) and Kaimara, my rogue whom I love because PvP rocks!!

I started working on Kari mainly cause.. she gets my herbs and makes my pots/flasks/elixirs for raids. You had to be 77 to get 'cold weather flying'and the epic Northrend flying stuff.. so I pushed her there that way I could herb more.

Then I went back to Kynsie.. I finished all her Northrend Quests so she could make the Deathchill Cloak (which.. btw.. Kari needed). Then I went back to Kari.. and finished her up.. my pretty mage.

And the same night (and next day).. I pimper her the hell out. Any crafted item that could be made I got or made for her.. one drop I bought on the auction house. She's sitting at almost 1400 sp, over 20% fire crit and shes never run a heroic till today (Wintergrasp... I got nothing).

No she won't be my main. Kynsie is discipline, only one in our guild. I am a MT (Main Tank) healer and I love it. Yes, I am usually last on the healing charts. I have one.. maybe two people to heal. Thats all.

Plus.. Disc is about mitigation. I prevent incoming damage.I shield, I Divine Aegis, I use Borrowed Time, I use Grace.. my Power Word:Shield glyph heals but it doesn't show up on the damage meters.

So I am usually last. But my tanks don't die. Unless it is a wipe or I am being killed.... my tanks don't die. It's a hard road. I am fortunate to be in a guild that understands my role and doesn't pew pew that I am not top healing meters.

And I love Disc. So I stick with it. Yes.. I can two heal 10 mans with a shammy.. YES.. I can single heal 5 mans..what do you know. When dual specs come out, I'll be rocking it holy for heroics and going disc for raids but until then. I am making it work.

If you aren't sure how.. ask me.

And for your viewing pleasure.. HELL YES.. who doesn't love Nyhm.

Bringing Out The Autism

2009-01-14T23:42:00.001-05:00

So in my guild on WoW there's constant trash talk. It gets sexual.. it gets stupid.. and occasionally offensive. I tend to ignore the 'haha you retard,you ride the special bus and lick windows' comments because they aren't personal. Noone means anything by it, it's silly talk.Only a few people in the guild know about Mikey because frankly, it's a place to have fun and play, not draw on your issues.

I actually had a conversation with an officer a few weeks back about why they would shut down anyone who said anything like "This is gay" or "You homo" because its offensive. But I dont think thats any different from 'retard' comments and again, they don't offend me but if you are gonna come down on one, why not the other? He vaguely agreed with me at that point but I don't think he understood why I was asking.

So tonight, while questing and working towards Kynsie getting the Deathchill Cloak recipe, someone blurted out in guild chat "GOD, does this person have autism or what, wtf"

I sat there for a moment deciding whether to respond. I did.

I said "Why would you say he has autism?"

"Well, its just how he's acting, its so stupid, it's driving me crazy"

"Ok, how is he acting? And do you personally know anyone with autism?"

I think at this point he realized he'd crossed a line. He backed off, saying he hadn't meant to offend but this person was so dumb....

At this point our Guild Leader said her cousin had autism. And I said "Ok well, MY son has autism and he is smarter than half this guild. So please don't ever say anything like that again"

In Class Leader chat (<-- Priest class lead bitches!) the GL said "YES HE IS!!" and someone else with a nephew who has Asperger's thought I was coming down on him for various "His parents spoil him"comments tried to apologize but it wasn't to him.

The officer whispered me that NOW he understood my conversation. I said I generally don't take offense at general comments but when someone brings out autism like that I have to say something. He said 'And from now on I will back you up" :)

And in other news.. Mikey started a blog. It won't be interesting or amazing.. his first post alone is a tutorial on something I don't even know how to do. But he would love readers. He would love comments.

I am not gonna put the address out there but if you would like it I will send it to you!! Make my baby happy :)

The Kid's Christmas Pics

2009-01-14T15:35:00.002-05:00

Long story short I had these done and they were to be ready December 23rd but they didn't end up being there till January 2nd. Yeah, I got half off and supposedly some free coupons for more pictures but I haven't gotten those yet.

So anyways, with all my computer issues I hadn't been able to scan them yet but Dad scanned them for me.

Nightmare Computer

2009-01-07T01:44:00.001-05:00

So.. as mentioned in my last post.. computer issues.

We got a new video card. I stuck it in.. and same thing.. computer didn't show anything.

Then I read the manual. I recommend this to anyone.

"Disable the onboard video card before installing this one"

Oh and hey you MIGHT wanna put your monitor cord DOWN HERE instead of the regular monitor hookup spot.

/facepalm

Anyways.. did that. Got it going. Installed WoW on the other hard drive. Play beautifully. But you know....

other issues. Like.. every time I restart my computer all my passwords, bookmark settings, default setting were removed. Like I just turned on the computer for the first time (except Yahoo Messenger.. go figure).

I had corrupted user profiles, programs I couldn't install and on and on. I said "You know what... I can access the internet and play Wow..I am g2g"... I redirected people to my gmail account and figured once we got tax money I would take it to a computer place and have it looked at.

Then I got thrown a wrench. A diamond plated wrench but I didn't know it yet.

See.. I reformatted Mikey's computer too. I even installed an antivirus program. Mikey is the devil. I think shortly before I got the program installed he got something. I thought it was taken care of but apparently not.I had done my OWN virus scan, 4 hours of of scanning thank you, hours before this happened.

I was on WoW.. about to log off.. when pop up windows appeared out of nowhere.. that STUPID Antivirus 2009 bullshit. I tried to cut it off and immediately began running my virus scan again but stuff kept popping up right and left. I left my scanner going and went to bed.

I woke up to.. Task manager disabled and an inability to start programs running with an .exe format. Pop ups everywhere. A message to restart my computer from AVG.. my only saving grace? I had left Mozilla up.. I would not have been able to start it but since it was there I could use it to look stuff up.

I could.. pull my hair out trying to figure out how to re enable .exe, edit my registry and do a bunch of other inane shit or..I could reformat again.

Reformat currently = terrorized as far as I am concerned. Last time it nearly cost me my computer. But here I was, unable to do ANYTHING anyways. I considered removing the video card first but in the end I figured if it didn't work I could always retry it sans card.

So.. I took the plunge.. inserted the disk.. and started the reformat. then I went to lay down with Heather, watch cartoons and NOT think about my situation.

See last time.. the reformat went through then it would start installing software... it got to 4/49 and restarted every.single.time. In retrospect.. that was most of my problem. Nearly anything was actually installed. I am lucky I HAD internet. As for my virus scanning, it was 4 hours of scanning nothing I assume.

So this time.. when I got that part.. I almost couldn't breathe... "go.. go.. 4/49...ok.. 5/49 omg woot.. wait...pause.. hourglass.. 6/7/8/49 YES... wait.. whats this.. no no go go go go please????"

For like.. 20 minutes. But you know what? It all went through. My computer came back up good as new. And I am currently installing anti virus/spy ware programs as we speak.

But its been a nightmare.. and I am touchy. I haven't let Mikey have internet all day. I have to reformat him AGAIN and find something strong enough to keep that kid from downloading stupid shit.. he just doesn't get it. He is convinced a laptop or a mac will solve his problems. I say, until he can manage THIS computer responsibly.. he's not getting anything else.

Christmas was good..

2009-01-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

then it went downhill.

We did have a good Christmas. I don't have pics at the moment which I will explain in a bit.

The kids got considerably spoiled between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We had lots of family, lots of food and lots of psycho kids with too many new things haha.

Unfortunately a few days later I got some bad news. My Mom called me Monday early and told me my Aunt was in the hospital. She had started having trouble breathing shortly after midnight and they had called an ambulance to come get her. Her heart stopped twice and they were able to revive her. My Mom said it was some bacterial infection that came a from a flu the whole family had had (she lives near my Uncle and his whole family). She wasn't expected to live through the day.

She died around 2 pm. In this case her heart didn't stop, she just stopped breathing. She was only 53. That's scary as hell, since that's my Dad's age and my Mom is only a few years older. She had been healthy as a horse at her checkup not long before this and it was completely and totally unexpected.

We were unable to make it to the funeral. Neither of our cars could have managed the trip, nor did we have gas money and my Mom couldn't have gotten time off work. I was worried for her but she said she was fine. Funerals were for the living, not the dead and her sister would understand.

I know my grandfather made it up there and is hopefully making sure everything is taken care of. I have been sad, but in all honestly, she's probably happier now with my grandmother than she was here.

Today also sucked. I decided to reformat my computer. I had been having some issues with viruses I couldn't get rid of (my fault for not keeping my virus scanner updated) and it was causing problems in various areas. I copied all my programs I wanted kept onto DVD's and used the reformat CD.

After completing everything and setting it all up my computer would just continually restart over and over. I reformatted again.. same thing. By now I am starting to panic. I can't figure out what I am gonna do and it looks like I have no computer.

I decided to try Mikeys computer. I used to play Wow on it before so I knew it could handle it. Only problem.. it didn't have a DVD drive. Jason got into both computers and moved my dvd player to his computer.I almost moved my video card too but it wouldn't fit (mine is much better). I had a few more problems reformatting his computer but I got it done.

It was basically several hours of me seriously stressed out between the computer, the kids and who knows what else. Jason really stepped up and helped me out and I really REALLY appreciated it.

WTB better video card though. This is horrible to go back to after what I had...

Getting to Know You Christmas Style

2008-12-16T00:26:00.002-05:00

I got this in an email from my Dad. He doesn't often send these sort of things so I wanted to respond :)

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.
OK, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just
copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that
you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then
send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that
sent it to you......Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags ? I like both

2. Real tree or Artificial? I like real... but we currently do artificial...sorry its fake or no tree this year.

3. When do you put up the tree?..We put it up yesterday >< After I remembered we had one

4. When do you take the tree down?......Around New Year's.

5. Do you like eggnog?....I love it... unfortunately so does Jason..and Mikey ><

6. Favorite gift received?..Probably the early present of my daughter

7. Hardest person to buy for?....Most of my step-cousins.. gift cards FTW

8. Easiest person to buy for?..My kids

9. Do you have a nativity scene?....No

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?..Both

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received?..><.. if I said Jason would feel bad

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?. Miracle on 34th Street

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?.....Meh...no real start time

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?...yeah probably

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?. Turkey.. and stuffing..and mashed potatoes.. and corn.. and rolls.. I love the whole damn meal

16. Lights on the tree?....Yes.. the kind with a bunch of different variations.. so you can pick the one you like best when you climb out of bed at 3 am to sleep on the couch and feel Christmasy

17. Favorite Christmas song? "O Holy Night" by Josh Groban

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?.....Definitely stay home lol

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Let's see....Ummmm NO

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?....Nothing currently *duck*

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Yeah definitely morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?....

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?..Well I love either purple or all colors..

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?...I have gotten most of what I want.. bills are paid.. the kids are overflowing in gifts. we can buy some food for each meal and Jason is on vacation from Thursday till after Christmas. If I had enough to buy HIM a gift... that's really all I want.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this?...no telling

27.Who is least likely to respond to this?..same

A Tree and a Visit

2008-12-14T20:16:00.002-05:00

So Friday afternoon Jason took Heather with him on his way to work and dropped her off with Cindy. She was staying the night and they were hitting Disney with some other family members (no, Mikey didn't wanna go).

Apparently a great time was had. Cindy's friend Caroline came over with her daughter Rowan (turned 3 in October) and they went to McDonald's and then back to Caroline's for the girls to play. Heather had a great time!

Saturday they did breakfast with Granny and Grampy at Cracker Barrel and then a bit later they went to Disney to do some shopping and check out the Christmas lights. She didn't get home till 9:30, quite beat!

While she was gone we took Mikey to see Santa Claus (no, Heather didn't wanna go). It was abit of a wait and Mikey was pretty overwhelmed but still clearly happy and in a good mood so I didn't worry too much. We didn't have a camera, only Jason's phone for pics, so they aren't great but I will post a link at the end.

Today Mom came over with some burgers and hung out for a bit as we decided to put the Christmas Tree up. We haven't put up the big tree since Heather was a baby for obvious reasons. I am glad we did this year, it looks so nice.

And a few more! Santa and the Tree

I could watch this all day

2008-12-07T01:43:00.001-05:00

We made this earlier but there was a 5th elf.. you didn't have to include him. but right away both kids said "GRANDDAD"...and since granddad is so far away right now we decided to do it.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Happy 3rd Birthday Heather

2008-12-05T08:25:00.001-05:00

3 years ago right about now we were arriving at the hospital. I remember having to stop every 5 minutes or so on the trip from the parking lot to the hospital for contractions. Those things were awful.

Her birth was uncomplicated and beautiful. She was a handful from the second she popped out but she combats that with being absolutely adorable. It is SO hard to believe she's three.

She is a brat with a capital B. She is regularly sent to her room for purposely doing things she knows better than to do. She will push buttons she knows should not push. Get into things she knows she should not get into.

But she loves to help. She helps me with laundry, cleaning up, recycling, making the bed, anything I need to do she's right behind me "Can I help?"

She loves to sing. Anytime a song comes on she comes up to me and we sing together. We sing before bed. We sing in the car. Yeah, she's her mother's daughter alright. Maybe she'll do karaoke like me too :)

She's a total girly girl (UNLIKE her mother). She loves to dress up, show off, dance and be a 'princess'. She's as dramatic as the day is long and will work the emotions out of any possible situation in her favor.

And boy is she smart. Not in the single minded photographic memory smart way Mikey is. She's more well rounded. It takes her no time to figure out how to do much of anything. She knows things I never had any idea she knew about till she says or does them. She's got all the basics down for preschool and she's so social and shining, I bet she'd do fantastic.

She is definitely THE baby. I try hard not to cut her breaks just because she's the baby but I am sure I do more than I should. You'll often hear me saying something along the lines of "because she's smaller/younger/ loves her big brother" etc etc in an effort to get Mikey to be more careful with her or do things with her. (For the record she DOES love her brother and wants to do EVERYTHING with him).

She's a handful. But she's the cutest, most adorable and lovable handful I ever could have asked for. Happy Birthday Heather. Mommy loves you.

Our Thanksgiving

2008-12-01T01:49:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a fun family filled Thanksgiving.Ours was a two day event.

Thursday we went to Jeremy's house. I had made my potatoes Wednesday. It's 7 lbs of peeling,chopping and mashing, you know? So Thursday we didn't have much to do but chill until later in the day.

Mikey didn't do that well :( He could not shut up about computers. I know when that happens it's because he is uncertain about whats going on around him or how to handle it. He talks computer talk because that's something he knows ...something that's concrete he can stick to.

It's hard to handle,I'll be honest. How many times can I hear about Windows 95 on VMware before I wanna shoot myself? But then I see him get that look in his eyes.. the look where he's lost and he's struggling to find somewhere he can feel safe.. and I melt. He's my baby.. this isn't his fault and I have to try and help him deal with his issues as best I can.

The dinner itself was good... lots of food, family and fun. No Dad :( But he should be home for Christmas. :) They also celebrated December birthdays. Heather got new clothes, a baby doll with a stroller and Dr kit, and the Dora talking backpack. She was thrillllllled. That baby goes everywhere with her.

Friday was another lazy day. Saturday we hit up my Mom's for T-giving with her.

This was my firts time ever cooking a turkey. Mom told me to brine it but last minute I realized.. we had like one tbs of salt...she later told me I could have used something else but eh..

SO I cooked it early Saturday morning and hey..I removed the neck but completely missed the giblets. GO ME... regardless it actualy still turned out very good! We had turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, stuffing, green bean casserole and rolls.

I went out to do some Christmas shopping in between. Some family gives us money to get the kids their gifts and I got Heather pretty much taken care of with a Walmart sale. She's got a Disney Princess blanket, pillow and jewelry box, some kids jewelry, a trunk full of dress up supplies, a Furreal kitten and some new jeans.

Mikey will be a bit harder but I got him too. He very much wants new headphones (good ones.. with a warranty for when he breaks them LOL) and a digital clock for his room. He also wantgs Vista Home Premium but that isnt gonna happen.

Tomorrow I am conna decorate for Christmas.. Tuesday I hope to get Heather's birthday pics done and maybe the kid's Christmas pics the weekend. We'll see!!

Update Much?

2008-11-17T08:49:00.002-05:00

Yeah...

Anyways. We had a pretty good week. As I mentioned my Mom has moved closer and since Tuesday Mikey was out of school for Veterans Day I decided to take them over to see her new place.

We had mentioned Mom moving once or twice and it was always met with unhappiness.This is not surprising. But at some point he was going to have to see it, and understand that just because the apartment was new, didn't mean it was the end of the world.

He cried most of the way there (once we got off an exit that was much closer than usual). He cried as Mom walked him inside, showed him everything. She still had the same furniture.. the same bed.. the same dining room table.. even the same COMPUTER. And Gizmo was still here (one of his concerns had been whether she would still have her dog in the new place).

He calmed down some. But I think what helped alot is the fact that Mom has a playground literally 10 feet from her front door. Heather ran over there as soon as we arrived and most of the visit was spent out there. By the time we left Mikey declared he now liked Grandma's new place. YAY.

Wednesday night Mom was kind enough to come over after work. She arrived around 10:30 so she could sit with the kids while I ran out to the midnight release of World of Warcraft's new expansion Wrath of the Lich King.

I had preordered a few weeks ago through Best Buy and arrived around 11 to grab the last chair and mingle with other people who have no life.. I mean people who enjoy playing the game. It's rare to be around so many other people who know what you are talking about when you mention Death Knight, day long downtimes and Savory Deviate Delight (woot, I'm a ninja!!).

The doors opened at midnight and I was in the car to drive home by 12:10. I got home, installed and we ran the first 5 man instance before I went to bed at 3 am.

I was a tired girl come Thursday morning.

Saturday was mine and Jason's anniversary. We're broke, so we didn't do much. (And may I say BOO to Blizzard for releasing the expansion 2 days before my anniversary..I mean honestly,you couldn't have waited a week?).

We did however go to Walmart and get Jason a new phone. He was due for an upgrade but the phone he really wanted wasn't a free upgrade through the AT&T website. It was through Walmart however. So we grabbed that for him and some groceries.

We later rented a movie.. Baby Mama. That was pretty funny. I tried to get a romance (P.S. I Love You) but Jason didn't seem to thrilled with that idea. Oh well.

We starting Mikey on 54 mg of Concerta since 36 was having no effect at all. He did have avery good day Friday (compared to mostly cruddy days) so I am hoping that continues and we don't have to change meds.

And in the "I hope saying this doesn't jinx me"category, I think we FINALLY have Heather off the binky. With Mikey we had him down to nighttime only by 18 months and he was off it completely by 22 months.

Heather well...she liked her binkys. It had gotten to the point where they were torn and old (because I refused to buy new ones) and she kept right on using them. She lost them for a few days and I was psyched cause I was still getting her to bed. Then she found them for a night.Then she lost them again.

As it stands now shes been going over a week without them. So I have at least made it before her 3rd birthday (which is *sniff* in just a few short weeks).

And can I say it's hard to believe we're making Thanksgiving and Christmas plans already? Wow, this year has flown.

Dancing With The Presidential Cadidates

2008-11-04T12:41:00.001-05:00

Dad posted this on his blog and I was LMAO!

Ba-dunka-dunk

Update!

2008-11-04T11:35:00.003-05:00

Ok I guess it's been a while since I posted. Alot of stuff going on around here.

We finally got Mikey on the new meds. I started with 1 pill but as of yesterday he was doing better, but his teacher said he was still having trouble focusing and staying on task. So this morning I started him on two pills and we will see if that helps.

He got his report card last week, this is the first one with actual letters grades! He got an A in math and a B on everything else. My Mom wondered how he could get a B in reading since he can read and spell pretty much anything. However reading is also about comprehension and that's always where he has had trouble. In any case, I was still very proud of him.

We got to spend a little time with my Dad and stepmom Saturday a bit unexpectedly and not under the best circumstances but it was still very good to see them I know the kids were happy as well. Thank you guys again for everything.

Jason was not there however because he was helping my Mom move. She recently got a job promotion and transfer to Sanford. She was able to find an apartment out there, which is only about 15-20 mins away from us as opposed to the usual 45 so it's going to be nice to have her closer. She has mentioned taking a kid every weekend to spend time with them and give us a break. I say WOOT.

We had her over Sunday night for dinner and its easy to see why taking one kid might be easier than both as they spent the entire time vying for attention. "Grandma look at my blanket!" "Grandma look at my virtual PC!". "Grandma look at my doll!" "Grandma look at me installing Windows 2003 on my Virtual PC!".

So uh, yeah..

ETA- I voted!

A Change and a Break

2008-10-23T23:48:00.000-04:00

Lately Mikey's medicine hasn't been doing the job. He's been on it about a year and a half and it always helped him at school and at home if we had different things going on. But Jason and I had noticed a ways back it was wearing off much sooner and I got several notes from his teacher that he was having a much harder time in school.

We were nearing the end of his month prescription and ready for the 90 days to fill and I just wasn't thinking it was a good idea so I spent three days calling his Dr (freaking because I didn't want him to run out completely) before she got back with me.

Seriously, I know they have it rough. I am always polite and never bitchy when I call. But come on guys, it's my kid on meds. Try to speed it up a little.

So she called today and recommended Concerta. She's going to give us a free month which will A) save us money cause his meds aren't cheap even with insurance and B) buy us time with the insurance companies lengthy approval process.

I am slightly worried. I read things about abdominal pain cause the shells don't completely digest and upper respiratory tract infection. Mikey is very sensitive to his body so I guess we will have to see how it plays out.

Tonight was the annual Fall Festival at Mikey's school. Originally I wasn't going to go but Mikey actually ASKED to go. Usually he won't go any further from his computer than the bathroom so if he ASKS to go somewhere, I take him.

We had fun. I got them each a piece of pizza and we shared a soda and then we hit the Book Fair. Mikey initially didn't want to go.It was hyped as a safari animal type theme and Mikey couldn't see the point in that. Then I looked over the brochure with him and he saw a Star Wars : Clone Wars book and that was it.

Heather quickly found a Dora book and both kids were happy.

We then made our way around and played a few games. Both kids tried shooting the candle out of a pumpkin with a water gun and Heather played bean bag toss and ring toss. By now it was getting dark and we headed home, but we all had a good time.

Tomorrow my Dad is gonna be here around 11 am to give me a much needed break. He's home again for a while and after relaxing in NC with my stepmom (sorta.. minus issues with vehicles) they are ready to take on my 2 hoodlums.

That's a whole day to myself, plus Jason and I both get to sleep in Saturday and relax until late afternoon when they bring them home.

We've never been successful getting them to take them two nights in a row. LOL. It's kind of hard to blame them. Nevertheless I am very much looking forward to my break.

Look for blog tomorrow detailing why I miss them.

It Was Me Against Him

2008-10-10T18:47:00.001-04:00

I hate roaches. I don't just hate them I am flat out terrified of them. Even the little ones skeeve me out. It's unfortunate then, that I live in Florida right?

I can think of maybe one other time I have seen a roach in the house. I have seen them outside, usually after rain, but not in here. So I jumped about 10 feet a few days ago when I was taking clothes out of the dryer and saw one crawling around the toilet.

I backed out slowly.. and decided I had done enough laundry for the day.

I told Jason about it the next day but he barely has enough time to do anything before work except get ready for work. I knew I was going to have to go back in the bathroom so I opened the door slowly.. turned on the light.. looked all over as I tip toed in..nothing. I hoped maybe he had died or something I finished my laundry and forgot about him.

Till Heather wanted to go potty later. I walked in without checking or anything and there he was again. I grabbed her potty seat and ran out again. At this point I am not sure what to do except keep the door shut and hope for the best.

So today and I am in and out doing laundry again. Yes, I do laundry pretty much every day. At one point Heather comes to tell me a 'buggy' is on the toilet and I am irritated but I go to look. I don't see it. She's saying "No, in Mommy and Daddy's bathroom" but I go in there and I don't see it either.

I do however see the toilet could use a good scrubbing so I grab some comet and come back to start cleaning. As I am cleaning this damn thing comes running out from the behind the shower curtain. I flew out of the bathroom, scooped Heather up and ran out of the bedroom like a rabid dog was chasing us.

I am fully aware screaming and freaking out in front of Heather isn't a good thing for her but dammit.. the thing had to be like 3 inches long and it was coming after me!!!

So now I am thinking there is no way in hell I will be able to sleep in there tonight if that roach is in there. I peer inside and see it come out of the bathroom and back up again. The next time I look it's gone so I look around the door and see it at the bottom near the baseboard.

I have come to terms with it. I am going to have to kill it. I am shaking and cringing but it has to be done.So I go to get the broom and come back. I am standing there with it and then I wonder.. what if the broom doesn't kill it? What if it just pisses it off and it runs after me or jumps on me.

I already know we don't have any bug spray.. so I look around the room and I spot one of Jason's shoes. *sigh*

I pick it up and walk over slowly.. any fast movement might make it run. At me. I take a deep breath, pull my arm back, count to three and...

WHAM. Dead bug on the floor.Bug guts on the wall. *shudder*

I go get a big heavy paper towel so I can pick it up without actually feeling it and even still I could swear it's not totally dead. I throw it in a grocery bag and toss it outside so that if it somehow comes back to life it won't be in my home. Yeah, I have issues, I am aware of this.

But at least now it's gone and I don't have to worry. Jason laughed his ass off when I told him about this. I am sure many of you will as well. I feel a small sense of accomplishment but I honestly would have rather avoided the entire thing. Ugh, BUGS!

Countdown

2008-10-09T02:29:00.002-04:00

Mel did this in her blog a few days ago. I am bored. Enjoy

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. I can admit it was half my fault. I still wish it hadn't ended how it did.

2. I still love you very much. I know you understand why I keep my distance but I love you as much as I always have.

3. I wish I had said what I wanted to say before you were gone. I was afraid if I opened my mouth all I would do was cry. I hope you know what it was anyways.

4. Sometimes I worry I am not doing the best I can do for you and I am failing you.

5. I am sorry I am not always there for you like I should be.

6. She's not spoiled. She listens very well and does not get everything she wants. But she's also barely three. So cut me a break already.

7. Sometimes I wish you would just let it go. Tearing off a band-aid hurts like hell but it's better than pulling it little by little and hurting for a long time.

8. If you knew everything about me, you might not be as proud of me. That's a heavy weight and I am trying to fix things so I know you have every reason to be proud of me instead.

9. I need to call you. I am going to soon, I promise. And I am sorry it's been so long.

10. Thank you for everything you do for my child. Having people around who can handle him and be patient with him means the world when you are the parent of an autistic child.

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I love Hot Pockets. .

2. I am very very bad at calling people.

3. I am counting down the years till Heather is in kindergarten.

4. I am also fully aware I will be bawling my eyes out when that day comes. Cause I'm a Mom.

5. I forgive way way way more than I should. However I also lose trust and feelings every time you hurt me.

6. I play entirely too much WoW. It's an escape.

7. I love my kids to pieces but some days I am not sure I can take it anymore.

8. I question alot of my decisions.

9. I don't read nearly as much as I used to. I miss it.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. Be sweet to me

2. Be honest with me

3. Ask me about my day.

4. Tell me about yours.

5. Surprise me

6. Text me for no reason other than to let me know you are thinking about me

7. Take out the garbage (.. ok that was a little obvious, sorry honey)

8. Be my Hero.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. Is there a day that goes by where they won't be trying to kill each other?

2. Do we have enough money left for gas this week.

3. I wish Christmas could be postponed till like.. February.

4. How can I convince Mikey to eat this?

5. This cell phone is really ticking me off.

6. WHY does every toy you own have to be OUT HERE?????

7. I need a new profile pic

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Clean up dinner

2. Throw out recycles

3. Pick up toys

4. Make Mikey's school lunch

5. Log off WoW

6. Kiss my baby girl

Five People Who Mean a Lot:

1. My kids

2. Jason

3. My parents

4. My Stepmom and her family

5. Too many friends to mention

Four Things You're Wearing Right Now:

1. black socks

2. Pink tank top

3. Blue jogging pants

4. Um...

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):

1. Fall On Me

2. Astro Zombie

3. Somewhere

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

1. Visit Ireland
2. See Mikey grow up, graduate and make his way in the world on his own.I am terrified of something happening to me before he can do that.

One Confession:

1. I need a lot of attention. A LOT. When I don't get it, I look for it. That backfires sometimes. It's a work in progress.

The Park

2008-10-05T12:47:00.002-04:00

Well I got tired of being cooped up in the house and so yesterday I decided to take the kids to the park. Mikey even agreed to it, which I thought I might have to wrestle him away from the computer.

Here's some pics

They both had a blast. Heather liked to run around and come up on a group of people playing and just start talking to them and trying to play with them too. Fortunately these people were very understanding and let her play with them, but you really have to watch her. She's way too friendly.

Mikey seemed to also have fun but got incredibly overstimulated. We ended up having a series of meltdowns at home that resulted in him asking for an extra night time pill and being in bed before 8 pm. I am thinking I need to do that a little more often so he gets used to it again, I don't think I have taken them to the park since earlier this year. I just don't handle hot weather well!

Sometimes It Backfires

2008-10-04T01:58:00.001-04:00

So we all know Mikey has an obsession with Bill Gates. He found some picture back in the mid 80's or so where Bill Gates is young, there's Windows 1.0 (I don't know if there is such a thing but that's what Mikey calls it) and a Mac in the background apparently.

He wants books on Bill Gates for Christmas (I am assigning this to grandparents as we have covered the books on older operating systems already). So as he tells me he hates school I remind him:

"Well.. Bill Gates went to school"

"He did???"

"Yep, elementary and middle and high school"

"He went to Deltona Lakes Elementary??"

"Well, no, he went to another elementary school where he lived."

"IS that where he learned to make computer programs??"

"NO he learned about those in college BUT, you cant get to college until you do elementary, middle and high school".

(I left out how he dropped out of Harvard)

"So.. there's computer classes in college?:"

"Yep, computer history, programming, etc etc.. anything you wanna know but you have to graduate high school first!"

"OK Mommy, I can do that!

So I am thinking, ok, Bill Gates works. Mikey needs to be sweet talked into something, tell him Bill Gates did it, right? Wrong. See, we're still working on tieing our shoes. So I told him Bill Gates knew how to tie HIS shoes. But he's seen this commercial:

See... Bill doesn't tie any shoes there. Now Mikey wants to buy ALL HIS SHOES at Shoe Circus!!!!

Sometimes it backfires.

Oh and he asked me today.. "What year were you released, Mommy?"

... I mean honestly...

So Mikey...

2008-09-29T14:09:00.000-04:00

.. is now the proud owner of a dual operating system. I reformatted his computer and installed XP and then he (yes HE) installed Linux. Now whenever he boots up it asks him which system he wants to use. He is happier than words can express.

I am constantly amazed by how smart he is. I mean VERY amazed. I know I am smart. My Dad is also one of the smartest people I know. My Mother is smart and so are alot of other family members. So it shouldn't be a surprise that Mikey is too.

But he's like.. CRAZY smart. Yet you can't really call him a genius I don't think because his interest are very focused. I guess if he wanted to be smart in other areas he could, but he doesn't. He obviously does very well academically at school but not always well on tests because if you don't ask the questions a certain way he completely misinterprets them.

His teacher was showing me a test they had done last year where she KNEW he did poorly because of the way the questions are represented. When she went back and asked him in a different way he answered them correctly. But of course, that doesn't count.

Yet, just the other day, I was sitting here messing with stuff I shouldn't be messing with on my own computer. I was trying to help increase my frame rate in WoW when I raid because I think it affects how much damage I do.

So I was siting in the processes section of task manager and I shut down something that suddenly popped up a message stating it was gonna shut my computer down.

Mikey was across the room and he saw it. He jumped up and ran over "MOMMY hit run, type shutdown- 8.. NO not 8 mommy 'A'.. NO you need spaces between the dashes hurry hurry!!" In an attempt to fix whatever I had done.

HOW does he KNOW this stuff??? HOW???? I know I write about it alot, but I just have to get it out somewhere. I don't know if I will ever stop being amazed by him.

Haven't I heard this story somewhere??

2008-09-22T00:29:00.002-04:00

I am sure most of you have too. You know, the one where the kid sticks beans up their nose. It's funny right? Sure it is, cause it didn't happen to you.

If either of my kids had done it, I would have guessed Mikey, but he didn't. Instead Heather decided to spin a variation on the 'beans up the nose' tale. It goes a little something like this...

The neighbors to the right of us got kicked out (with good reason... I heard them screaming at each other at least once a week) and the owners are back cleaning shit up and all. One thing was a fish tank.

It was now long gone but there were plenty of the little rocks left behind and she wanted some. So I picked up one of each color and washed them thoroughly before letting her play with them.

You see where this is going.

She came up to me tell me "get it out get it out" and shes pointing to her nose. I am still clueless here. I think she must need to blow her nose or something so I show her a tissue and I mimic blowing into it and tell her to do the same.

She's not really getting it and I still have no idea so I hand her the tissue and I said 'Blow, blow".. and she does.

All of the sudden I see the rock shoot out of her nose and hear the 'ping' as it hits the floor. Yes, she stuck one of the rocks up her nose.

I want to ask WHY?? WHY would you ever think about sticking something up your nose?? But I don't. She can't answer that anymore than Mikey can answer why he was SO HAPPY tonight that his bedtime story was an excerpt from "Windows 95 for Dummies".

I just have wierd kids..thank goodness they are so cute.

Skipping Trick or Treating. Are Mom's Allowed to DO that??

2008-09-17T14:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am considering skipping trick or treating this year. As Halloween approaches I find myself beset with a sense of dread over the upcoming holiday. Well, not the holiday itself, just the trick or treating part. Why?

Mikey will tell every house he comes to what kind of candy he wants (there's only two things) and if they don't have it he gets upset. As more and more houses don't have it, he gets more and more upset. Add in that he gets tired easily (more complaining) and one hour can seem like fourteen by the time I call it in.

Heather, however, will eat any blessed thing that crosses her vision and will spend most of the trip grabbing fistfuls of candy from the bowls, demanding to get to eat a piece every five minutes and then throw endless tantrums when she is not allowed which can (and have) resulted in her attempting to run across streets, throw her entire bucket of candy down and lots of tears and screaming.

Together they make 30 minutes seem like 14 hours. And see, once again, Halloween falls on a weeknight, in which Jason works. NEXT year he will be home and I might not feel as much trepidation about the ritual but this year? I think we might be skipping it.

However, I do not intend to skip the holiday itself. I figured we would decorate as always, get a pumpkin to carve like usual and on Halloween I would have the kids help me bake Halloween cookies, I've got a few minor crafts in mind and then of course, helping to pass out candy, something I think Heather will love (as long as she has a lollipop in one hand for herself. )

Anyone else ever considered skipping trick or treating?

The Dr's

2008-09-13T10:21:00.000-04:00

The Dr visit went pretty well. She didn't seemed bothered when Mikey explained in detail how to find out what version of Microsoft Word she had.

Three times.

She even went as far as to explain about the hospital firewall and how it blocked some things. I was impressed.

She basically just went over everything and asked if I needed any changes made. I told her not right now. She wasn't too happy he had lost 2 lbs since his last visit (3 months ago) and he hasn't grown any in height (he's 4 ft tall, 50 lbs).

She just wants me to watch him, maybe weigh him once a week and make sure he doesn't continue to lose. I am hoping he doesn't because I don't want to switch meds.

Asperger's

2008-09-09T00:36:00.001-04:00

Asperger’s

This is my baby.. flat out.. no doubt about it. We have a Dr appt tomorrow. I was horrified last week when they called to learn his regular Dr was gone, moving to NC (YET ANOTHER REASON LOL).

So he now has a new Dr, a female. I hate to say female badly.. but we LOVED this guy. He was very likely on the spectrum too, he understood Mikey. Obviously I don't have a problem with women, I have his teacher on a freaking pedestal for how amazing she is and what she's done with him.

But Mikey gets used to stuff (duh) and here will be a whole new set of issues. Not to mention, she hasn't been with us all this time like his Dr has been. Can she sit for 5 minutes straight and talk to him about Windows various operating systems?? If she can I will love her.

Here's some facts I found today, just throwing them out there for anyone. Please read. If you know of anyone fitting these.. please help them understand what they are dealing with.

Do you find yourself confused in social situations? Are you passionately interested in a single topic? Is it tough for you to make and maintain eye contact? Then you, like many talented and intelligent adults, may be diagnosable with Asperger's Syndrome.

Asperger Syndrome is different from other disorders on the autism spectrum, in part, because it is often diagnosed in older children and adults as opposed to very young children. That's because Asperger Syndrome is a relatively mild form of ASD which does not include problems with basic language skills. Many people with Asperger Syndrome are very bright and capable. The issues that emerge for people diagnosed with Aspergers are related specifically to social and communication skills -- skills that only become signficant as people get older and need to negotiate complex social situations.

The History of Asperger Syndrome
Hans Asperger was a Viennese child psychologist who worked with a group of boys all of whom had similar developmental differences. While they were all intelligent, and had normal language skills, they also had a set of autism-like symptoms. He came up with a description and diagnostic criteria for a syndrome, which he named for himself.

As a result of the second world war, Asperger's work disappeared for a number of years. When it reappeared in the late 1980's, it garnered a good deal of interest. Today, Asperger's Syndrome is in the news virtually every day.

What Does It Mean to Have Asperger Syndrome?
What does it mean to have Asperger's Syndrome? Clearly, since so many successful people seem to have the diagnosis (Dan Ackroyd, for one, announced his diagnosis on the air -- and rumor has it that Bill Gates may also have Asperger's) it is not a disability in the classic sense. In fact, some historians suggest that Einstein, Mozart, and Alan Turing (the inventor of the first electronic computer) may all have been diagnosable with Asperger's.

What people with Asperger's Syndrome do have in common is a set of characteristics that may make social interaction particularly difficult. Many "aspies" (a term that teens and adults with Asperger's Syndrome sometimes use to refer to themselves) have been bullied or teased as children. They may be awkward with the opposite sex. And they may have a tough time maneuvering through complex social cues at school, at work, or elsewhere.

The Cambridge Lifespan Asperger Syndrome Service(CLASS), an organization in the United Kingdom that works with adults with Asperger's has developed a simple ten question checklist to help with a preliminary self-diagnosis. If you answered "yes" to some or most of these questions, you may decide to find out more.

* I find social situations confusing.

* I find it hard to make small talk.

* I did not enjoy imaginative story-writing at school.
* I am good at picking up details and facts.
* I find it hard to work out what other people are thinking and feeling.
* I can focus on certain things for very long periods.
* People often say I was rude even when this was not intended.
* I have unusually strong, narrow interests.
* I do certain things in an inflexible, repetitive way.
* I have always had difficulty making friends.

If you do answer "yes" to many of these questions relative to yourself or a loved one, you may have uncovered an undiagnosed case of Asperger's Syndrome. For some teens and adults, this is a tremendous relief: it puts a name on a set of issues that has troubled them throughout their lives. And it also opens the door to support, treatment, and community. But there is no obligation to do anything at all about Asperger's Syndrome. In fact, many adults feel that being an "aspie" is a point of pride. They are unique, often successful individuals who are simply … themselves!

Wedding Pics

2008-09-05T01:06:00.009-04:00

I wasn't even aware they GOT a decent pic of Mikey (he has since had a haircut) so I am thrillled. I am hoping more to follow.

Edited to add: OMG she is beautiful right???

The Wedding and More!

2008-09-03T10:41:00.001-04:00

Ok fine, it's been a week. Not only was the trip fairly exhausting we had alot to do when we got home, plus Jason still on vacation (he went back yesterday) and Mikey out of school.

Anyways, everything was beautiful. We had a fair number of snags along the way still getting there but they all got resolved and we made it there a little after 4 to start getting ready.

Mikey had a rough time but overall he did fairly well considering the day before, the long trip, the new people and places, the time waiting between this and that, being hungry at times, not getting to always do what he thought he should be able to.. well it would have drove any kid a little crazy honestly. So I was proud of him.

Heather was as cute as could be and as stubborn as ever. She refused to do just about anything without a ton of cajoling and bribing (if you don't want Mommy and Daddy to leave you here then you need to put this dress on! No, just kidding). I did however at times wish for some legal form of child sedation between the both of them.

Heather's role was of course to walk down the aisle and drop the rose petals. Which she did. Then she would turn around, pick them up and put them back in her basket. Drop a few more, pick them back up... all the way down the aisle.

Do I emphazise cleaning up after herself a little too much? You couldn't tell looking at her room. Anyways, fortunately everyone found it amusing and the wedding carried on. It was outside at a park by a fountain and everything was beautiful. I was very happy to get to be there and share in the happiness.

Next off was the reception at a Pirate's Dinner house. The kids got baskets of toys which kept them both entertained (and loud) the entire time. However we also got some time to chat while they were distracted (when you could hear over the noise). Mikey was nearly passed out before we left and had indeed fallen asleep within minutes of getting in the car. Heather was asleep about halfway back to the hotel. We all slept, woke at 7 and headed back home. Thouroughly exhausted. But I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

We were finally able to get the car fixed thanks to a loan from my Dad, so that was another weight off our mind. Jason spent the rest of the week/weekend working on various projects around the house.

Yesterday Mikey started bus service back again, well he took the bus home. I remembered when he took the bus during kindergarten it had stopped across the road (same street as ours just across the intersection) as well but I never really knew much about the kid who lived there.

Well I met the mother this morning getting on the bus. Turns out he is also special needs, globally developmentally delayed, autistic and epilepsy. He is 10 but as the mother said, probably developmentally Mikey's age.

I guess she had wanted to get to know us for a while because her son (Kevin) doesn't have much in the way of friends or anyone to play with. He has a 16 year old brother and that's it. We spent 20 minutes at the bus stop after the kids left talking about, well, the things Moms of special needs talk about when they connect.

How we knew, when we got therapies, medication, day to day issues, dealing with the rest of the world and on and on. We're going to try and get together sometimes when we can and see how the boys interact. I am very excited about this!

And in an effort to get the house in better shape myself, I just spent the last nearly 2 hours cleaning Mikey's room. I am considering hiding the huge box of Bionicle pieces and seeing if he even notices. He rarely plays with them anymore. I think if I just left a few out that are put together he might not say anything.

Now I am on to Heather's room which is not nearly as bad but still needs to lose a considerable amount of toys!

Fay Has Blown Through

2008-08-22T13:15:00.003-04:00

It never actually made it to hurricane status but it sure did toss us a lot of wind and a LOT of rain.

I started seeing it mostly Wednesday night. The power went out intermittently but only for a second. Just long enough to shut my computer down (and WoW!!!). That was annoying. Around 1 am I was getting ready to go to bed when it shut off again but for a little longer.. then it came on... then shut off.. then came on.. by this point I hear the baby crying so we go in there. Usually we have a fan going for white noise and it was also shutting on and off and was scaring her.

So I got into bed with her and a cup of juice. When the power went out she'd say "Not again!!" and when it came back on she'd say "We did it!!" This went on for a while till we both fell asleep. Jason said it stayed out for 45 minutes at one point and then came back on.

Thursday was definitely the worst of it. It was just non stop wind and rain. I would catch the news at intervals and all I kept hearing was 'Deltona' and 'flooding'. I checked around our house and we seemed fine. At one point we got a call from the school that it would be open but starting an hour later. Then closer to evening I got another call that it would instead be closed due to flooded streets and hazardous driving conditions.

Early this morning it was still pretty crazy but late morning it died down and I ran out to pay some bills and pick up a few things. Boy, they weren't lying. After my usual back road shortcuts led to multiple attempts of driving through lakes that used to be roads I changed my mind and stayed on the main roads. They may have been busy but I wasn't interested in my car being flooded as well.

As of now it's still gloomy and a bit windy but overall things look much better. It certainly could have been worse!!!

Fay??

2008-08-19T20:01:00.002-04:00

So Mikey had a great first day back to school. I am wondering if it's not his LAST day for the week.

Tropical Storm Fay. She's irritating me. I wasn't too concerned for the most part when she was coming through Florida down south and out the central eastern side. I figured we'd get rain, wind, whatever.

They cancelled school today and tomorrow. Why today? It was nowhere near us so I don't have a clue. And it looked as though there would be nothing to worry about tomorrow either.

Then I saw this.

It's exiting Florida, turning INTO a hurricane (finally) and coming BACK at us. See where it hits land? Thats not far from Daytona Beach. We live 20-30 minutes from there. NOW, I am a little concerned.

Of course, we know how Mother Nature is and it could keep right on heading out or never really turn into a hurricane. I am hoping that's the case. Because THAT scenario up there makes me very uneasy.

In any event I was already getting ready. We've got lots of water frozen in our freeezer, the weather radio/blinding flashlight/occasional TV charged and ready to go. I have lots of candles, food that doesn't require cooking and a big cooler to fill with ice. I have laundry up to date and will continue to do so as well as dishes, and I am also considering buying some disposable plates and utensils in case the power DOES go out so they don't pile up.

Phone and ipod will be charged and ready for long term use. I've got a few good books and magazines to read. And as this looks like more of a possibility, I'll probably turn the AC way down to freezing so maybe it will stay cooler longer when there's no power.

Any other ideas? Best case scenario? I don't have to worry about it at all.

The Last Few Days

2008-08-16T02:14:00.001-04:00

Wednesday was the kid's latest dentist appointments. You may recall that although generally Mikey does wonderful at the dentist (even the time we took him to have a baby tooth pulled), his last visit was awful and they couldnt get much done.

Happily this time he was back to his old self and gave them no trouble, even getting xrays done.

Heather, on the other hand, was typical. She screamed her head off the entire time, tried to bite fingers that came anywhere near her mouth and told the dentist and his tech to "Go away!!! I don't wanna open my mouf!"

I am a bit worried as this is the last time I'll be able to go back with her. Next time she'll be three and they won't let me. Then again, I was worried about Mikey and he did great. Heather's just a whole other ball of wax lol.

Thursday was Mikey's appointment with the rheumatologist. We didn't get alot of answers. They wanted to do the blood tests all over again because apparently his blood was tested in a way they don't approve, since it leads to false positives. Oh yay.

She checked him out and didn't find anything abnormal. She did mentioned the possibility of childhood fibromyagia. My Mom has it and I have an offhsoot of it (which sadly may get worse as I age) so it's altogether a possiblity however, I find it less of one as symptoms generally start in the pre teens.

So now we're waiting again. I wish someone would just tell me one way or the other whether I need to worry or not!

So this morning we woke up to get his blood drawn. He did SOOO much better this time than last, probably be cause he knew what was coming. He did jump a tad at the needle going in but who doesn't? He let them get it all and we happily traipsed home.

This afternoon was Meet The Teacher. We got there just as another little friend (you remember T, the little girl with DS) was coming in. I felt jealous because her younger sister (who had probably been Heather's age when they met in Pre-K 4) was entering kindergarten. *sighs* I have a few years before I have an empty house LOL.

Mikey was in awe over computers having been moved, told Ms Korfage how far he'd gotten in his shoe tying skills (he recently made a breakthrough with the loop) and saw a new student name. A few of his friends aren't there (one is older and likely moved into a new class, the other I'm not sure).

We discussed the new teacher he would see and he was a bit hestant until Ms K mentioned the aide who would be accompanying him, Ms Gross. Mikey loves Ms Gross. He's invited her to our house. Several times. LOL

I take a good look at people Mikey likes though. He is a pretty harsh judge (out of honesty not out of malice) and if he really REALLY likes someone, I wanna know who they are. Sometimes it's kids, who are a bit different as Mikey just wants to fit in. If its a grownup, no less a grownup at SCHOOL, I know they must be an incredibly patient person with a lot of love. Because kids sense these things, not just Mikey, but all kids I think. They know who is real and who isn't.

I have met Ms Gross and shes a very nice woman who I have seen working all facets of the ESE program from the mild like Mikey to the more severe and physical. People like that are angels, plain and simple. And I am blessed my son goes to a school with so many angels.

I also did get him resigned back up for the buses. It will take a few weeks and they are going over the 'less than 2 miles from school' deal again. I am hoping it means a stop at my house LOL, but either way we will figure it out.

So yeah... we've been busy! Only a few more days till school!!

Back to School and BUSY!!

2008-08-11T15:37:00.001-04:00

Well, the summer has flown and we now have only a week till school starts. Mikey is actually happy about it for once. All his bitching and moaning during the school year and he was complaining about missing school like the first week of summer *smacks forehead*

We're gonna have a busy week. Mikey needs a haircut for one. Both kids have a dentist appointment Wednesday. And Friday is Meet The Teacher Day. Yes, Mikey already knows his teacher however it's a nice prep for the first day of school.

I have a ton of school supplies already. I have stocked up at every 5 cents/12 for a $1/ almost free sale there was. As a result I also have a nice stockpile of art supplies which will be going towards a big box of art stuff for one of Heather's Christmas gifts. The child loves to draw.

All we really have left to get is whatever teacher specific school stuff she needs and Mikeys backpack. They don't really have much he likes this year and as of yet I havent taken him to look. I was really hoping we'd qualify for reduced or free lunches this year as they raised the income levels but alas, it appears they are the same as WIC (which we also no longer qualify for) which is about $100 less a month than we make. *sighs*

I have revisited the school bus situation with him. We didn't use it last year because they were no longer coming to our house but we had to walk almost a mile down the road. I love taking and picking him up but even going the less than 2 miles there twice a day is more gas than we need to be spending.

He has seemed accepting of a possible bus ride. In addition, aside from rainy days its good exercise for me to walk a bit with Heather to get him. So we will talk about that when we go.

Am I ready for school to start? Sort of. But Mikey and I well.. I felt like we got pretty close over the summer. I am not sure how to explain it but he got more touchy/feely, talking about his emotions and bonding with me. I am kind of gonna miss him to be honest.

And I know Heather will. Did I mention she actualy calls him Mikey now? No more 'Hokey".. I miss that too. Anyways, so I am also nervous about the changes this year. Mikey will gradually spend more time in a regular ed classroom and while I am thrilled and so proud of him for being able to go to regular ed.. I have seen him in social situations. It's not pretty. ..

But I also realize if he is never exposed to social opportunities he will never have a chance to work on those skills. I am hoping they again put him in the class with the other boy on the spectrum since (as usual) they bonded and I know he will have at least one friend.

I'll try to keep you all updated slightly more than I have been!!

Edited to add: I got a call this morning from the Rheumatologists office where we had the visit scheduled for October. They had something open up Thursday, did we want to come in then instead?

Um.. yes?? I am thrilled and even more glad now I decided to go that route since it's actually a few days BEFORE the Jacksonville appointment I would have had to drive 2 hours up and back for.

Of course it is one more thing added into an already busy week but that's a good thing.

A Closer Appointment

2008-07-29T00:48:00.002-04:00

Well I did some research on my own and found a Rheumatologist in Orlando who takes children AND our insurance. The bad news? I couldn't get in till October. The good news? It's not in Jacksonville and it's not in December like the first two appointments the Dr's office presented me with.

I hate waiting so long but I knew they were gonna have to do the entire set of blood tests again anyways, just to see if anything had changed and then again probably to identify the specific issues if there are any.

Tomorrow I am taking the kids to the park in the morning. Whether Mikey likes it or not. It's been nearly impossible to get him out of the house this summer because all he wants to do is sit on the computer or play video games. For the most part I was leaving him alone and taking Heather wherever I had to go (during the day of course while Jason was home, not alone at home hahaha).

But I just feel like crap about it and dang it, the kids gonna come to the park and play and get some sun and fresh air if I have to drag him out by his feet. I think once he gets there he might have fun but who really knows with Mikey.

The Test

2008-07-26T01:10:00.002-04:00

Ok, I probably should have posted earlier but in all honesty, didn't feel much like it.

We got there as soon as they opened.. it was over an hour before we went back and a bit later we were seen. I didn't understand much of what the Dr was trying to tell us. She asked if Mikey ever woke up in the middle of the night with pain (yes, but nothing I would call consistant); she asked if we noticed swelling anywhere (no); she asked if he complained about pain even after inactivity (yes).

Then she had him get up to come to the table and noticed him limping. Yeah, I have noticed that too on occasion but I never put 2 + 2 together. Sometimes he gets up and limps a bit until he gets going.. it happens to me too if I have been sitting in the same position too long. But she made note of it. I don't know what to say to that.

She currently didnt feel any swelling but his tests showed inflammation. His antibodies were high as were his lymph counts while his neutrophils were low. You know I looked all that up. But for now she wanted us to see a Rheumatologist. She couldn't really tell me what we were looking at, which I sort of understand. She finds abnormal test results and sends you to the best place to sort them out. But by golly, this is my kid here. Help me out,

SO as soon as I got home I scanned and sent the test results to Mel, who does lab work for a living. In the meanwhile I did my research. I totally agree the internet is both a saint and the devil in this day and age.

Pretty much everything I am pointed to shows autoimmune disease, which could include juvenile arthriis, lupus, chronich fatigue syndrome and more. I have read descriptions on juvenile arthritis and I just dont see it. So then what???

They found me a rheumatologist I could see in a month but hes up in Jacksonville (roughly 2 hours away). I made that appt but I am looking for something closer. Assuming this is something ongoing I do not want to trapise to Jacksonville every few months. I do not know if I will have any luck but I will try.

All I know it.. I dont have many answers. Chances are they will do all the blood tests again and then do even more. I try to tell myself this has to be done for Mikey but I am not always sure it does.

What if I am doing this for nothing? What if he is just extra sensitive to his body? Yes, the test results were off but I mean, she even said it might be his medication. I haven't found anything to back that up yet but I am keeping it in mind.

So basically.. I haven't posted cause I have no clue. I am so lost. I did send the test results to Mel and here is what she said (I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her):

okay. ran it by several techs in the lab. they said that probably the reason for the urgency was that the lab needs to run the reflex tests for several different thigs that qualify as ANA's and those tests have to be done within a certain amount of time or the entire process has to repeated from the beginning. everyone said that nothing looks too out of whack with his resutls, though everyone said honestly they couldn't say off the top of their head whether or not medications can affect the ANA. ANA is basically a test to detect if Mikey has developed an antibody ti his own self--which is what arthritis technically is. the reflex tests will be able to detect which ANA he is reacting to and what it means for him.

And here is what an ANA test is for.

So that did help but long story short.? I still don't know. I know something is wrong and current signs are pointing to juvenile arthritis but I don't see it based on what I have read. It could be another autoimmune disorder or it oculd be an off day.

I have no idea. And I hate having no idea.

I am NOT Freaking Out

2008-07-24T12:39:00.002-04:00

I got a call from Mikey's Dr's office a little while ago. They got the test results back and want us to come in with Mikey as soon as possible.

Yeah, that doesn't freak you out any does it? I have gotten lots of tests done on the kids over the years and never gotten a 'call'. It could be any number of things, most likely an abnormal test result that needs to be tested further (oh yay).

So we're gonna go in bright and early tomorrow morning and hopefully not walk away with more questions than answers. Cross your fingers.

I am NOT freaking out.

The Weekend

2008-07-21T14:09:00.002-04:00

The weekend had a bumpy start as Thursday we took Mikey to get his blood tests done. They were testing for juvenile arthritis as well as doing a CMP and a CBC.

I didn't tell him much ahead of time other than we were visiting a Dr to check some things out. It wasn't till I took him back (leaving Jason up front with Heather) that I explained he was going to get a pinch and it might hurt some but not much.

He immediately started trying to run away, telling us no, he didn't want to be pinched. When she brought out the needle though (a butterfly needle, not like this huge thing), he went absolutely nuts. I was not able to hold him even with the help of another nurse. Jason ended up having to come back (and I don't think we'd have gotten this done if he hadn't been there) so he could hold Mikey on his lap while the other nurses held the arm straight.

He screamed bloody murder over and over and I was sure everyone in the medical complex could hear him. Once they stuck the needle in though he calmed down. We told him "Look, see, just a pinch, it's ok now" and he just kept asking if they were done yet. They had to get three vials.

We followed up with McDonalds to make it a little better. I should hopefully have results by the end of the week. This isn't one of those where I will find out on the next visit it was all fine, I am calling and finding out as soon as I can!

Friday Jason took the kids with him on his way to work and dropped them off at my Dad's. They were keeping them overnight and (supposedly) taking them to Universal the next day. So I had the entire afternoon and evening to myself. Don't ask what I did. You already know.

Saturday Jason and I both got to sleep in and then I cleaned up some and messed around on the computer till they got back around 4. Apparently they instead decided on Downtown Disney and then Toys R Us. Hey, as long as everyone had fun. I know Grandma and Granddad did.

Sunday we went to visit my Mom and spent some time with her. My brother was also there and we hadn't seen him in a while so that was nice. We watched a movie and basically just hung out.

Overall, good weekend, like to have more of those!

The Kids Dr Appointments

2008-07-11T16:13:00.000-04:00

Today we had Mikey's yearly checkup. I realize he turned 7 a month ago but whatever. I also brought in Heather for her 2nd round of the Polio vaccine.

I got what i expected concerning their growth rate. Mikey has grown and inch and a half and lost 3 lbs in the last year. The child has been in the same size clothing for almost 2 years. I have almost an entire wardrobe of size 7 clothes he can't wear. It got so bad that I had to go replace some size 6 shorts and THEY even seem big on him :(. But the Dr wasn't concerned so I guess it's ok. I know he eats. He's gonna be like his dad it looks like.

Heather on the other hand has grown an inch and a half and gained 3 lbs but in 6 MONTHS!! I also knew this because every time I put an outfit on her it looks smaller. I am praying most of her clothes last me through till fall because we do have some 3T clothes for her but it's mostly colder stuff.

They checked Heather over and the Dr (who was admittedly new because I have never had anyone blink at my vaccine choices for her) asked me if I had done my research and visited reputable sites regarding selectively vaccinating and I assured her I had. What does she think I pulled the idea out of a hat or something? But after that she dropped it.

She also asked some questions about Mikey and his autism, medications, therapies, etc etc. They had told me at the beginning of the visit that some things had changed and he now needed two chicken pox shots. I vetoed those also. Mikey also told the Dr his legs hurt.

Does anyone remember me mentioning this LAST year at his checkup. He had been complaining of leg pain (usually his left leg but more recently his right also). The Dr said it was probably growing pains but gave me a prescription to have some blood drawn and looked at. I never did though because everyone seemed to agree with the Dr. But now, a year later and he is STILL complaining.

He told the Dr it didn't hurt now but sometimes it did. So she wrote me another prescription and this time I am going to go just for peace of mind. It kills me to think something might be wrong with him and I had let it go :(

Then it came time for Heather's shot and as expected, she was furious. Till we handed her a pink lollipop. So far she seems fine. Oh the Dr had also asked if I wanted to have Heather evaluated to see if she would also fall under the spectrum but I told her we were sure she was not. As early as I caught Mikey's delays I also caught on that Heather has been fairly advanced with development and her social skills are on par with your average 2 year old.

So a good visit for both kids!

Our 4th of July

2008-07-05T12:45:00.001-04:00

We had a fairly decent 4th of July. I cleaned most of the morning and my Mom came by around 3. We all hung out a bit and then headed up to a local park that was doing a big thing with games, music and of course, fireworks.

The first two hours were not so bad. We went around to the different vendors and got tons of free stuff. The kids played in the bounce houses and we bought some food and drinks.

But, perhaps I wasn't thinking clearly or maybe I wouldn't have gone so early. Heather was fine but Mikey started to melt down. The music was very loud (even though we moved way out in the field), there was a LOT of people, a lot of things going on around us and so many different smells it was even a little hard for me and Mikey is very sensitive to smell.

We tried to hold him off, distract him, talk to him, but he just lost it and was in pure meltdown mode over some balloons that got loose into the air. So Jason and I talked and we decided to go to Walmart, get some cheap fireworks and a pizza and finish this at home. So we dropped the kids off at home with my Mom and went to get all that.

Mikey was much better at home. The kids came back and forth as we did the various fireworks and ate pizza and then we got them to bed a little after 9 pm. So all in all, not too bad!

Here's some Pictures we got!!

Weight Loss, Birthday Parties and a New 70

2008-06-30T23:40:00.002-04:00

Back on April 1st I started dieting again. I was just really getting tired of how I looked. I set a goal of 15 lbs by the R.E.M. concert and lo and behold, I not only made it, I surpassed it by a few pounds. And as of Friday I have now lost 20 lbs total!

I am so psyched. I am actually only 8 lbs away from what I weighed in high school. back when I thought I was *fat*. What the hell was I thinking? I am gonna shoot for that too, even though I won't LOOK the same as I did thanks to my two little angels (lol), it will be nice to say I weigh the same as I did back then :)

Debbie's husband Dean called me Thursday and told me he was having a surprise party for Debbie's birthday on Friday. I haven't seen her in a few months and thought it would be fun so I took the kids and boy was she surprised. I love Debbie she is such a trip and she was all over the place about Dean doing this to her when she thought he wasn't really doing anything special or even cared.

The house we were at had a pool so I let the kids swim. All the kids were in the pool actually. I couldn't get in but I was right at the edge the whole time. It made me stop and think a bit cause I was the ONLY parent out there. Lots were in the screened in porch and I don't think anyone of them weren't watching their kids (I know they were, you could tell).

But even Debbie was like "AnnMarie, come in here and chill, we're all watching, it will be ok" and I just couldn't. Jason and I both are used to hovering over Mikey. It's just always been that way because you never know what's going to go on with him. And yes, Heather is small but she had floaties and another boy a little younger than her was out there with them on too and just fine.

Am I too overprotective? Jason says maybe their kids are all used to lots of swimming and ours aren't. That could be true. And again, I don't think any of them were neglecting the kids or anything at all. But there was no way in hell I was going any further from that pool than I was and it did make me stop to wonder whether I was validated or just overprotective.

And yay I now have my 4th 70. My baby, my favorite to play, my rogue Kaimara. Hers is a sad story. I started her back in maybe September or so and was doing pretty well with her in between playing my best toon (Kynsie, holy priest) and my mage.

Then around the end of last year I started a horde toon and leveld her to 70. Then I went back to alliance and started doing a lot of raiding with Kynsie and got her geared up. But raiding isn't what I really love to do. It can be fun, it's good for gear and stuff, but the guild I was in was going 4 nights a week and that left little time for me to play Kaimara due to heroics or whatnot on off nights.

I finally left that guild and went to a small guild just startting to raid with my friend Heather Anne and her fiance Richard. YES, thats right, they started playing WoW less than 2 months ago, found me in the armory and joined my server and now both have 70's. I love being in the guild with her, it's fun. And now I had much mroe time to work on the rogue. And work I did.

And I have found my true love: PvP. There is nothing more satisfying than stealthing up on some unsuspecting horde, stunning him, stabbing him, poisoning him and taking him down. So for Kai I am gonna do lots of pvp, get her good pvp gear and go nuts!

God help me when the next expansion comes out and I have to level her and Kynsie to 80. ARGH lol.

What a trip!!!

2008-06-23T11:07:00.002-04:00

Well, it had its fair share of snags but R.E.M. more than made up for any issues I may have had. I am not even going to try and keep this short. Go get a snack!

So I left early Saturday morning with Mikey in tow. We stopped at McD's for some breakfast and then at Walgreens for some last minute items. As I headed to my Mom's, halfway to the interstate, a thought flashed into my head.

"The R.E.M. ticket is still at home!!"

Yes, I had left the R.E.M. ticket safely hidden where it has been for the past 2 1/2 months. Thank God I wasn't already to Orlando or worse yet, Atlanta by the time I realized this. I called Jason to get it and quickly ran back home to retrieve it. PHEW!!

Arrived at my Moms and we quickly bustled to the airport. Once there I started to get into a huge line of people waiting to be checked in with countless bags and dreary faces. I silently wondered if I was going to make my flight. Then I heard an announcement about self service Kiosks for the more simpler travelers so I ran over, swiped the credit card I had used and voila!!I was on my way in a matter of minutes. Gotta love technology.

The same was not to be said for security, but I made it through there too and headed on down to my gate where so far, everything looked to be going smoothly. We boarded on time, I got settled in with my book and then.. waited. And waited. And waited. We sat on the tarmac for about an hour, apparently because there was only one open exit lane for planes to go through right now and everyone had to wait their turn.

Let's make it worse? The back of the plan had no air. They were unable to fix it on the ground but once we DID get in the air it cooled off considerably just due to outside air temperatures.

I arrived and managed to find the rental car place without much issue. They were out of compact cars so I got a free upgrade to midsized! I ended up with a Chevy HRR, which was not the car I wad wanted but I was unable to knock the older couple out of the way in time for the car I did want. I don't know what it was, but it looked nicer.

I called the hotel, made sure I had correct directions (oh, did I mention I left those at home too??) and headed to the Interstate. Remember that little Interstate construction snag I mentioned in another blog? Well, what it meant was my exit was completely closed.

So were the next four...

So I called the hotel back and they got me off the interstate and back to the hotel through the neighborhood. I was so impressed I asked for directions back from the concert too. I shouldn't have. More on that later.

I chilled in the hotel a little while, got some lunch, read my book and took a little nap. I got up around 5 and started showering and getting ready to go. I am getting more and more excited!! I made it to the venue without much trouble. Immediately found a sounvenir stand and stood there for about thirty minutes until I was able to purchase a tour shirt (I made sure to get one with the concert dates on the back!!) and a program. Then I found my seat. I waited through an opening act I could have cared less about (I missed the first one) and then waited a bit longer while they set up for R.E.M.

Finally, around 9 pm. They came out! And they next two hours was just AMAZING!!! They started out with a oldie, hit a new song and went around and back all evening. They played songs I never thought I would hear live. 'Harborcoat'?? OMG. Mike Mills did lead on 'Don't Go Back To Rockville' and it was fantastic! 'Let me in', just beautiful!!

They did the songs everyone loves to sing along to: "Orange Crush", "The One I Love", "Bad day". They did new album stuff. They did stuff I bet they haven't performed live in years till this tour. I was on my feet almost the entire show dancing and singing. Michael did tons of his trademark dancing that i just adore. I mean.. it was everything I could have hoped for and MORE!! And all the reviews I have seen say this is their best concert in years so maybe it was meant to be that I finally got to go this time.

I didn't get pics (I was too far back to get anything decent) but here are some pics that are very good of that show.

I headed out totally pumped. I used the directions the hotel gave me and initially started out in the wrong direction but quickly adjusted. As I was going through the intersection again I head a bunch of yelling and looked around just in time to see a car coming from the right hand side. It didn't hit me. It hit the car next to me. If there had been no car next to me? Yeah, that would have been me.

So the hotel desk clerk said he was gonna take me through a little neighborhood to get back. Maybe it's a cute little neighborhood during the day. At 11 pm at night? It's the ghetto. There were seriously prostitutes and drug dealers on almost every corner. I was horrified. I mean here I am in this nice car, a girl, by herself, and they send me here??? I hightailed it through there as fast as I could and finally found myself headed back into Downtown Atlanta. Apparently a baseball game had gotten out too. The entire 6 lanes was going one way. And I spent the next 30 minutes crawling through that mess before I finally made it back to the hotel.

Who cares?? I just saw R.E.M.!

I was too pumped to sleep for a while so I stayed up and messed around a little. I had already gotten the ok for late checkout. I slept till about 11 and finally headed out of the hotel around 1:30. I got some lunch and then drove around Atlanta a bit taking pictures for the kids to see later.

I stopped by a Barnes and Nobles. There wasn't much in the way of kiddy souvenirs but I wanted to the get the kids something. I got Heather a Curious George book. What did I get my 7 yr old son? The latest copy of MacWorld. Yeah. he was ecstatic.

I somehow made it back to the Interstate (don't ask me how) and back to the airport with a few snags but nothing major.

As I was checking in again I saw my flight was delayed. Great. They moved gates and were also 17 people overbooked. Fortunately I had a seat assignment, cause I was not liking any of the options they presented if you stayed. They flight was scheduled to leave about 6:50. We finally hit the air close to 8. I got in around 9:30.

By the time my Mom got me, we went back to get my car and I got home it was 11:30. I was wiped but I thoroughly enjoyed my trip, every single part of it!!!

Packing the Bags!!

2008-06-20T17:31:00.001-04:00

Well just one bag. But that's not the point.

Tomorrow night is R.E.M.!! I haven't flown in 6 years so I checked out the TSA website on allowable items. I have all my liquids in 3 oz containers or less and packed in a quart sized ziploc bag. I assume the hotel wil have shampoo and body wash like most hotels do so I just brought tothpaste, some makeup and a few other things they might not have.

I will be leaving here around 8 am with Mikey. My Mom is going to watch him so Jason only has Heather to deal with. Originally My dad and stepmom were going to take both kids and give Jason a free weekend too butsince my Dad had to go to Iowa that wasn't an option anymore.

So my Mom is taking Mikey. The main reason for this is that if he is here at home he will spend the entire weekend obsessing over where I am and when I am coming home. I don't want to make things any harder on Jason so we took this route. At my Mom's he won't do this.

She offered to drop me off and pick me up at the airport so I don't have to pay parking fees and also so Jason didn't have to make two long round trips at crazy hours with both kids. So she'll be dropping me off around 9:30 for my 11:10 am flight.

I have my ipod charged and ready to go. I packed two good books to read during my downtime. That's assuming I am not too exicted to read hehe.

My next post will either be late Sunday night or Monday, depending on how tired I am from the trip! Be thinking of me tomorrow night, I am gonna be having a BLAST!!

It's Almost Here!!

2008-06-17T13:52:00.001-04:00

So the R.E.M. show is Saturday! I am very excited but I also admit to being a tiny bit more worried than I was about being in a big city I have never been to by myself and trying to find my way around.

Some people had told me after I booked my package that I might be better off taking a shuttle from the airport to the hotel and maybe a taxi or the train to the venue. So I looked into and it was an option, but when I called to inquire about cancelling the rental car I found out I couldn't. It's part of a package, already paid for, and they can't cancel part of the package, they would have to cancel the whole thing.

Well, there's no reason now not to use the car since I am paying for it. So I have been busy figuring out routes to and from the airport, hotel, and venue. It's all within about 20 minutes of each other, which is helpful. There's a nice construction snag on the Interstate apparently that I might have to deal with but I will ask about that when I arrive.

Here is the hotel I will stay at. It looks like a pretty nice one from what I can see. I arrive in Atlanta around 12:30, make my way to the rental car counter (looks like I have to take a shuttle) and by the time I get all that done I find my way to the hotel. I can't check in till 3 pm but who knows, it may just take me that long. If not I'll try to find a spot for lunch while I wait.

The doors open at 5:30, show starts at 6:30 with two bands I have never heard of, however I did hear some disparaging remarks about one of them in my guild last night. I am debating going for that or chilling in the hotel till 7 or so and then making my way there for R.E.M.

Of course I want to get there BEFORE they start so I can purchase some souvenirs. I have to get a shirt, maybe a keychain if they have one and quite possibly one of those concert books they put out. Then I'll grab a $7 beer and find my seat and chill till they come out.

After that... well. There's not gonna be words! I have waited almost 13 years since the last show. I really like a lot of songs off the new album, which is good since I am sure that will be a big part of it, but I have heard they've been playing some oldies too and I hope the same holds true here. I want a nice good LONG show that I can remember for a long time!

When it's finally done *cry* I will head back to the hotel. Times like these I wish I had a laptop or something so I could start writing everything out right then! Maybe I'll bring Jason's anyways just to have a place to write. If he lets me.

Checkout is noon Sunday but I am going to see if they have late checkout when I get there. If not I'll probably go ahead and head back to the airport and mosey around there till my flight at almost 7 pm. I arrive back in Orlando alittle after 8 pm and thus ends my exciting two day trip, the likes of which I may never see again.

I can't wait!!!!

Happy Birthday Mikey!

2008-06-11T19:09:00.003-04:00

Today is Mikey's 7th birthday :) We had a early celebration Saturday when we took him to Downtown Disney and let him pick out toys for his birthday. He got a 700 pc Bionicle Set that we spent most of Sunday putting together lol. He also got another Bionicle and a Nerf gun that shoots little balls out.

We had dinner at McDonalds and spent time with Dad, Cindy, Amber, Jeremy and Wendy and had a good time.

Monday was his neurologist appointment. Despite looking way too skinny for me he IS growing so that was a relief. We talked about his school year and the next one and also decided to cut his medication in half for the summer.

For his actual birthday we got him the Pancake Puff pan we'd talked about but I thought there would be mix in there and there wasn't. Whoops. He also hasnt been too happy because he doesn't like to celebrate early and insisted today wasn't his birthday because noone came to celebrate and he didn't have candles to blow out. Well, I didn't make a cake because he doesn't like cake! But I guess I know better for next year.

All in all, even with him being a little upset we've still had a good day. It's so hard to believe he is 7 years old!!

Yeah.. it's my birthday!

2008-06-02T01:29:00.003-04:00

So my birthday was fairly nondescript but still good. Sundays are usually my day to sleep in anyhow but I went to bed early last night (like.. 1 am).. so I got more sleep than usual when I woke at 12.

I heard Jason whisper to Mikey to tell me Happy Birthday and he did with a big hug. Heather, never to be outdone, yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MOMMY!!" and also gave me a huge hug.

I let Jason go back to sleep and I stayed up with the kids, IM'ing with Mikey (dont ask what about lol...) and playing hide and seek with Heather. Jason went out to get Subway and McDonalds for dinner so I didn't have to cook. I played more with the kids and then got Heather in bed and eventually Mikey.

Yesterday had been the family birthday party for May/June in which Mikey got lots of birthday money and so did I. Most of my birthday present consists of the money already sent to me for R.E.M. tickets (in 3 weeks!!!!!) and this was money for souvenirs and such.

Mikey's money is going towards more. I finally broke down today and told him what was supposed to be a surprise because he was headed in a totally other direction and I wanted to move him back HERE where we were going and hope he'd be happy.

He wanted to buy a new computer or a PSP with his birthday money. Our plan had been to take him to Downtown Disney next Saturday and let him loose in the Lego Store (his favorite store EVER) and buy what he wanted with his money. Then we were gonna do dinner at Rainforest Cafe.

So today we brought up Lego.com and Amazon.com and I showed him all the Bionicle toys he had yet to buy... and told him we were gonna take him there next Saturday to buy them. Well that ramped him right up. He is ready to go now!!! However Rainforest Cafe was a so-so and since the reservations went weirdly we may just pass and try another spot for dinner LOL.

Thats where his birthday money is going. What are WE buying for him? Well, we cant let his birthday go by without a gift, even if he has had hundreds spent on him already (no, my kids aren't spoiled). He wants I Can Tell Time which is a CD they play at school and I can supposedly find in a local school supply store. He also wants The Pancake Puff Pan.

Yes, he comes up to me and asks "Mommy, do you like pancakes? Then you'll love the pancake puff pan. It's not available in stores! It's Pantastic!!!"...... Ok buddy thanks. I have no idea why he latched onto this but he has. And therefore I must get it and learn to make pancake puffs so he will be happy. So those will be our gifts for him on his actual birthday.

As for me.. aside from the money I got to spend at the concert I also got a super cool gift on WoW that noone will understand but me. I fished up Mr Pinchy the other day and used my first wish that night. I really wanted the pet but I got some weak ass lobster in the raid and he died like pronto.

So I tried again tonight after the two day cooldown and got the pet I wanted!!!! It's pretty rare so I am super excited. I had to deal with the guys talking about eating crab with butter and whatnot (assholes) but I don't care I have a pet not many people get!!! WOOHOO.

Happy Birthday to ME

Mikey's Awards

2008-05-28T17:15:00.002-04:00

Today was the 1st grade award ceremony. Dad came out to watch, which was the first time he's been able to come because they are usually vacationing in some random part of the world this time of year.

We didn't tell Mikey about it so there wasn't the incessant questions, or the possibility of disrupting the early school day before it started. We arrived before his class came in and found a good seat from which to video and take pictures.

They had quite a bit of awards to give out. The first award Mikey received was for Excellence in reading. They announced his name "Mickey Cluckey". Even the teacher didn't realize it was him, I had to go let her know LOL.

The second award was for Math. This time they announced him as 'Mikey Cluckey". As the teacher is ushering him up you can hear him saying "But they called me Mikey Cluckey!!!"

The third award was for Spelling and they messed up his name AGAIN. Apparently he'd had enough as he marched onto stage and told they principal "I'm Mikey CLUKEY! and then also to the award presenter and loud enough for the award ANNOUNCER to hear and she apologized and gave Mikey the microphone so he could tell the entire cafeteria "It's Mikey CLUKEY!" HAHAHA. I love my kid.

As we do every year, we took Mikey out of school since leaving him in after he'd seen us AND Granddad would probably have ruined the day. We asked him where he wanted to go for breakfast and he said McDonalds so we took the kids. Mikey rode with Granddad and got to call Grandma on the way and tell her all about it.

We all ate and let the kids play a little bit before headed out. Dad left us with a bookcase they were getting rid of that we could certainly use. It was nice to see him and also wonderful get to see Mikey receive all his awards. He behaved wonderfully and we are so proud of him.

Are You F'in Kidding Me?????

2008-05-26T02:14:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the cussing but OMG...

Teacher has students vote Asperger's student out of class

I am horrified and APPALLED that anyone who has taken up the teaching profession would EVER do something like this. It's unfortunate here in Florida Jason and I have watched way too many stories on special education students being abused in the classes.

And here is a child apparently mainstreamed that I can tell, in the process of a DX and his teacher did this to him?? Can I tell you how close I would be to physical violence if anyone ever did this to my child? Yeah, I'll go to jail for kicking her stupid ass, someone will bail me out.

I know people don't always get it.. for most of the world, I shrug off the 'window licker', helmet wearing' 'short bus' comments cause they dont know any better much less intend to hurt MY feelings. But a teacher... a teacher should know better. That poor child is too upset to go to school anymore and who can blame him? What, kids with special needs don't have feelings too?

OMG I could go on and on and on. This is why I am so scared of mainstreaming my baby. I know most of the staff and teachers at his school already but still. The thought of him getting hurt :(

The other day he was sitting in front of me and telling me how he was wierd and different and he wasn't good anymore. Is that normal almost 7 yr old behavior?? I told him he was wonderful and Mommy loved him to death but I don't know if it helped. At some point I have to have "The Talk' with him I guess. Not the sex talk.

The 'Baby, this is what Autism is and you are autistic' talk. I think he's been leading up to it. He's asked me about my buttons, stickers, magnets, whenever we come across it. I have been sort of brushing him off but I don't want him to think its a bad thing by any means.

I just don't know what to say. I don't know how to talk to him about it. I don't know how to get it to his level. I am scared to death to be quite honest. But I know I need to do something soon before he gets the wrong impression.

This is the part that sucks.

Ugh

2008-05-24T15:48:00.002-04:00

It's been a fairly uneventful few weeks. I had a nice two days of freedom while Dad and Cindy took the kids to Universal and Disney. Other than that not much going on until yesterday.

Jason called on his first break to let me know the car had been broken into. They smashed the driver's side window and took his satellite radio. Car burglaries have been a problem in that area for a long time. Nothing much is being done yet it seems like.

Of course it was storming on and off all day and night. Along with glass all over that side of the car it was soaked. Jason couldn't even leave work last night until it stopped and he got off fairly early.

This isn't covered by car insurance. If it had been the result of a car accident (in which the other party was at fault) then it would have been but otherwise its on us.

Jason is currently getting it replaced now. We didn't have alot of options being a holiday weekend and more thunderstorms predicted. He had to drive into Orlando but we found a place that would do it for under $200.

On the bright side, he called Sirius to have them turn the radio off since it had been stolen. They are sending him a new one for free thats even better than what we had!!! That brightened Jason's mood just a little!!!

Mother's Day 2008

2008-05-11T18:01:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day 2008 went pretty well!! I got to sleep till 12:30 (YAY) and then we got up, got ready and headed into Orlando to take my Mom to dinner.

Mom had already given me some money last month for Mother's Day and my birthday to help cover the cost of my R.E.M. trip next month. I got her some body wash, some sugar free chocolate candies (which I have tried and love) and a card, plus our annual lunch at Sonny's BBQ.

My brother is in town so he was also there and I hadn't seen him since Christmas so that was nice. We had a great lunch and a very nice visit!.

I hope all my Mommy friends had a great day too :)

Please ignore my hair. It was very windy...

Publix Grand Opening

2008-05-08T09:39:00.003-04:00

Yesterday my favorite grocery store, Publix, closed. That was so this morning, a brand NEW Publix could open right behind it!

The little strip the old one was in is getting torn down and renovated into a Lowe's Home Improvement store. All the restaurants and shops (Subway, Beef O Brady's, Great Clips, etc) are moving back behind also to a brand new center which also includes an already opened Taco Bell (Jason and I were thrilled with THAT since the nearest Taco Bell had been in the next city) and a number of other new stores/restaurants.

They are really starting to build up the little city we moved into! I was very excited about the Grand opening and Jason laughs at me but you know, there's lots of free stuff at these things!!!

So Heather and I went after I took Mikey to school (this was a recipe for disaster if I had taken Mikey... the store was beyond overcrowded). When we first walked in they gave Heather a coloring book and crayons, two little soccer balls, plus I got TWO Publix lunchboxes. Jason's current lunchbox is from the LAST Publix Grand opening in different area and was in dire need of replacement.

There were stations of free food set up everywhere. Heather got cookies, sliced chicken, cheese, donuts, strawberries, oatmeal bread with butter and her favorite, a tiny little ice cream cone. They had a big Publix Dragon (from the kids club) wandering around. Heather would wave but she refused to go anywhere near him.

Oh and the Chiquita Banana lady with a big bowl of fruit on her head was very intriguing. She gave me a banana keychain so she's all good in my book.

I only picked up a few things as I had NO intention of doing my grocery shopping in this madness. Upon leaving they gave Heather two flowers and gave me two free packages of the GOOD name brand english muffins. I can't eat the cheap ones (they just taste yucky) and usually won't fork over the money for the good ones so TWO was a great freebie!

I can't wait to do my real shopping there, it's 5,000 sq feet bigger and of course, much much nicer. YAY for Publix!

Dad's Home!!

2008-05-05T19:41:00.002-04:00

Dad is home from working in Lousiana (as well as spending some time in DC) for the last 6 months. We saw him over Christmas and again for a dinner in January but that's been it. It's nice to know he'll be home for a little while!

Saturday was Amber's birthday and we also recently found out she and her boyfriend Sean are going to be parents!! So it was a fun celebration of seeing Dad and congrats for the parents to be!!

Mikey was thrilled to see Dad and Heather warmed up to him by evening's end. So much so that she has been saying "Granddad!" for the past 2 days.

Here's some pics!!

Myspace

2008-04-30T01:07:00.003-04:00

I have a final post on Autism Awareness but it really only applies to myspace and the songs I post there. If you are a member and not my friend, why not???? If you wanna be, go here:

http://www.myspace.com/remfangirl

You'll have to know my last name or email to add me. Last name: Clukey. If I don't know you, not gonna happen.

And if you ARE a friend and don't regularly check my blogs there... GO NOW!! Hahahaha.

The IEP

2008-04-28T18:17:00.003-04:00

Today was Mikey's annual IEP meeting where we discuss how he has done this year, what goals he has met and what new goals are being set for next year.

I have to say. This meeting was probably one of the best I have been to. Mikey has done SO MUCH BETTER this year that previous years. Not only with behavior but with adaptability, reasoning, and even some social skills too.

I first spoke with the General Ed teacher Mikey has gone to math with (and also calendar time every day this year). She had nothing but good things to say about him. Mikey has been in a class by himself for math literally most of this year because he is higher than the other kids. SO he's been going at his own pace which is pretty fast.

Now he has had to learn to wait till all the kids are on the same page. He raises his hand, participates, and is friendly with the other kids, all good things! Math wise he tested into 2nd grade material.

Reading well, that's a different story. AGAIN with the reading comprehension. They gave him 100 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade words (300 total) and he didn't miss a single one. They asked him to read a story and then recall facts, make connections to real life and describe a favorite scene.. not so good.

He DID do better on higher grade level books, perhaps in part they believe because they had more meat to them, were a little more involving. He could recall more. But he still didn't have a favorite part and couldn't make any connections to anything he did in real life.

Part of me says.. "Who cares?" The other part of me that had to sign a form stating he could be held back over this if he failed reading comprehension on the FCAT'S, knows something has to be done. I think a large part of it IS interest. He doesn't care about where Tommy lost his hat. He doesn't care that Susie went to her Grandma's for the day to bake cookies. It is of NO interest so he doesn't give it much thought.

And I know its important. I guess my point is I know he CAN do this, with some prompting, if it DOES interest him. I have seen him read Bionicle stories and with a few questions, be able to recall scenes. I never asked for a favorite or to make any real life connections (and maybe I will start) but overall the issue is we need to BROADEN his interests. That's one of my summer goals.

I know he has a few others. Power Rangers, Spiderman to name a few. Today he told me how Spiderman BECAME Spiderman and Venom's real name, which I didn't even know. If we can find some BOOKS on the things he is interested and maybe move along those lines.. say from Spiderman to a book about spiders and what they do?

Anyways, thats my summer project. Lots of library visits, encouragement trying new things, etc etc.

His speech and OT therapists both reported good things, goals having been met or almost and set some great new goals for next year. The intention is for him to start back into Gen Ed math and from there, reading and from THERE... well he could be fully mainstreamed by the end of the year depending on conflicting schedules, where it wouldn't make sense for him to come back to Special Ed.

His teacher said quite frankly, he's so far ahead of the other kids there's no challenge, he's ready for more social situations and kids in the same place he is educationally. I agree and while part of me gets a tiny bit scared (that's natural right?) more of me is really excited to see how well he is doing and how much potential he has to do even better in the right setting.

So aside from the reading comprehension issue (most kids ending first grade are at a level 16-18... Mikey is around level 6) everything else was absolutely fantastic. I am incredibly proud of him and how well he has done this year!!

Link Fixed

2008-04-26T18:32:00.000-04:00

I fixed the link in the previous post, sorry!!

Family Time

2008-04-24T13:38:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we kept Mikey out of school. Around lunchtime we headed up to Chuch E Cheese. He's been wanting to go for a long time now so since Jason was on vacation and it wouldn't be too crowded like a weekend, we decided to go.

Heather was a baby the last time we went so I doubt she remembered anything. She LOVED it. Mikey was initially overwhelemed, which is to be expected, and broke down a few times. But then he got it together and had fun too.

Here's some pics!

Afterwards we hit Best Buy. See a few days ago I started having problems with my computer sound. I could hear people, but noone could hear me through my mic. I did all kinds of research and tried everything I came across both in general and specific to my sound card (which is an onboard sound card and therefore, fairly useless accoridng to what I read).

None of that worked so I sent Jason out a few days ago to buy a new sound card. We installed it and... it didnt change anything. My last resort was new headphones. On the way to Chuck E Cheese we got Mikey to admit he tried to take my headphones the other day for HIS computer (cause his sound hasnt worked for a while). They are hooked up in the back and I guess he yanked something.

So we got there and I found a new pair of headphones. I walked through the digital camera section and remembered I wanted to buy a memory card for the concert, since I currently hold less than 20 pictures MAYBE. The employee I talked to said I had NO memory card at all LOL. He handed me a 1G card that he said would hold 300 pics.

Then he asked me what concert I was going to. I told him R.E.M. So as he was looking through batteries (I considered an extra battery too) he started singing R.E.O Speedwagon songs.

Seriously.... what?? I just gave him a half ass smile as he went through a medly of choruses and grimaced as I left the aisle. R.E.O. Speedwagon... what??

So we got home and the new headphones did indeed solve my problem. I guess I could take the new soundcard back but I am not making a huge issue of it. Mikey's sound still didnt work and it now looks like he messed it up somehow. He shows no sound device at all in his hardware.

It's started to annoy me how much crap he does to his computer. He downloads stuff he should never be downloaded, gets so many viruses, messes things up SO bad I have to reformat every 3 months. I could take the computer away but then he'd sneak onto ours (he regularly wakes up 1-2 hours before we do in the morning because of his meds).

I am gonna try setting up an admin account and seeing what I can prevent him from doing that way. He doesnt understand what he's doing, he doesn't realize the problems it causes. None of it even crosses his mind. It's a bit taxing!

But overall we had a fun day. At home Daddy wrestled with the kids for a while. They are loving having him home, it's so obvious.

Blah

2008-04-22T19:00:00.001-04:00

The last week has mostly sucked. I spent the first half of last week with a cough, sore throat and sore lungs (from all the coughing lol). I had about one halfway decent day and then I got hit with a 3 day migraine that included nausea, vomiting and dizziness.

Good times overall.

I am thinking I may know why the migraine happened but more research is needed before I can make a determination.

Jason is on vacation this week. The kids are loving it. So am I cause they dont bother me, they are all over him LOL. Plus he got up today and he'll get up Thursday to take Mikey to school and stay up with the baby so I can get a little extra sleep. WOOT.

Tomorrow we are keeping Mikey out of school for a family day. We're going to Chuck E Cheese, maybe the little wter park near the house too. He knows we are doing somehting, but not what.

Check this out. It's like a virtual world where kids/teens/adults can make an avatar to represent themselves and then go through real life situations as many times as they need to until they feel they can do it IN real life :) I think Mikey would love it when he got older.

A Funny Story

2008-04-14T12:43:00.002-04:00

I have alot of the stuff from our wedding in a bottom drawer of our dresser. Cards and napkins from the reception, etc etc. Heather occasionally goes through it because it's all 'so pwetty!' hehe.

So late last week I guess she was going through it while Jason was getting ready for work and I was out in the living room. I hear him yell something about being on crack and I turn around and he's holding one of the wedding cards we got.... with a Target gift card still inside. Whoops!

Ok, in my defense, the wedding night was crazy? We were opening all the cards and gifts at the house before we headed out to Hard Rock Cafe and our hotel. We were both incredibly tired and it had (obviously) been a big day. So I missed something.

So, out of curiosity I called the number on the back of the card. Hooray! Target gift cards never expire!! Almost four and a half years later and that baby was still good. It's ok to laugh about now that I know I didn't waste those people's money haha.

The weekend was pretty decent. Jason's family had sent us and the kids some gift cards to Sears. The kids both needed new shoes so Heather and I hit the mall. I would have brought Mikey but he was involved with some Bionicle and didn't want to go, so Jason stayed with him.

I found an almost identical pair of Dora shoes which fortunately Heather liked because they were the only shoes that fit. Both my kids have abnormally wide feet and while the shoe may be long enough, many times it's not wide enough. I bought a pair of shoes for Mikey that looked like they would fit but upon returning home, alas, his feet were too wide. So I'll be taking him back with me to return!

Then I hit Target (hahaha) and picked up a few groceries and also got the kids something. Mikey had been wanting a new Bionicle for a while but I hadn't gotten him one for several reasons. One, he has way too many. Two, he cant keep his room clean to save his life. Three, gas prices are ridiculous LOL. So I bought him one and he was thrilled.

Heather had about four temper tantrums in the store, two very nice major ones where she was screaming "HELP!!!! HELP!!!!" and flailing all around in my arms, causing me to worry people were going to think I had kidnapped her or something. She had napped on the way to the mall so I don't think she was tired. Chalk another one up for being a brat.

Yesterday Jason took the kids to McDonald's and then the park so I could have some alone time to tackle Mikey's room. I don't know how he lives like that. I got everything cleaned, put away, organized and moved a lot of trash out. He was thrilled when he got home. I don't know how to get him to keep it straight, I guess I am going to have to be more vigilant with him, rather than expecting him to handle it himself.

I have labeled bins, given him tons of ways to know where something goes, done reward charts, taken away privileges, taken away BIONICLES, everything I can think of. He just gets involved with making new Bionicles and it all goes to hell. So I am going to work more on making sure we clean up every night before bed and hopefully maybe once a routine kicks in, he'll be able to do it himself.

A Little Understanding

2008-04-11T21:40:00.002-04:00

Along with patience comes understanding. It's hard to be patient with someone when you don't understand what they are going through.

Even though I read anything I can get my hands about autism I won't ever really PERSONALLY know what Mikey is going through. However I do know a few key things.

He didn't ask to be born with autism. He didn't ask to grow up surrounded by people who have no clue why he has to have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same exact time every day. He didn't ask to struggle at the playground with the simplest of conversations. He didn't ask for difficulty grasping future concepts like the next time he'll see Granddad or what he might have for breakfast tomorrow morning. He lives in the here and now and even though he's getting better, for the most part that's all he can focus on.

He didn't ask for an abnormal sensitivity to touch that means he can't wear certain clothes (like socks with the little strip of thread at the top? Oh yeah, we hear about those). He didn't ask to have certain rigid rules in his head that could drive a normal person insane but if he doesn't do them, just like every other day, he can't function.

He didn't ask for perfect parents and he got me and Jason. He seems to love us anyways, even when we forget patience, lose our understanding and forget he's trying as hard as he can. And you know what? A lot of time, I think he's better than us. He doesn't hold grudges. When we yell or punish and then come back and apologize because we realized we were wrong... he's already forgotten and just wants a hug.

He didn't ask for an amazing extended family but he sure got that. We couldn't have asked for better, both my family and Jason's think Mikey is awesome and love the hell out of him. My parents handle him incredibly well and don't fault him for the things he can't control. They roll with him, while gently reminding him of the way things have to be sometimes. They never ever make him feel like he's anything other than absolutely spectacular. His aunts, uncles, great-grandparents and cousins all give him the kind of patience and understanding I could only have dreamed of before we knew what we were dealing with. I can't even express in words how much I love them all and how lucky I feel.

Please remember patience and understanding when you come across someone with autism. They didn't ask for what they are dealing with. What they could use, without asking, is support.