House Rules

Dad sent me this book a bit ago to read. It's a novel about an 18 yr old boy with Aspergers syndrome, obsessed with crime scenes (and very knowledgeable about them) who ends up becoming the suspect in a murder investigation. It revolved around the family (single mom, 16 yr old 'NT' brother) and basically how the hallmarks of being autistic (no eye contact, stimming, inappropriate responses to things) can look alot like guilt to the police.

I have to say this was the hardest book I ever read. I had to limit myself to reading after the kids were in bed and Jason wasn't home because I would get so upset and I really don't like being upset around other people if I can help it. By myself I could cry. And I did.

It was a GOOD book.. like, say, if you DON'T have a kid or know a kid on the spectrum, it was very well written, definitely drew out the ending (hello second to LAST PAGE???) and really brought you into his world.. her world... the brother's world. I think it's a great book to open the eyes for people who don't know what it's like.

As a mother.. well first off let me say that while I am NOT a single mom I do the lion's share of the childcare duties. Jason usually wakes about an hour before he has to leave for work and isn't home till after the kids are sleeping. On the weekends he sleeps in but he does get up and play with them, takes them to the park so I can clean the house in peace, does video games, etc etc. But for the most part, I am handling them on my own so I do understand some of what she's going thru.

And I can TOTALLY see the little brother's resentment about everything he wants being derailed by what his brother needs or wants. There's no way I could do that, nor would Heather let me. Sometimes.. Mikey just has to understand it can't be the way he thinks it should be. Often that requires a lengthy (days or more) conversation about whats going on and induces lots of tears, anger, unhappiness. But there's just nothing I can do about it. Not that Heather gets it her way all the time either. I'd say it's about 50/50 and generally dependent on the actual situation.

With that being said.. there's no way I think that Mikey's needs could completely override Heather's ALL THE TIME and I disliked that about the book. Of course the younger brother was mad. I would be too.

Just going to say here that I have been working on this for over an hour.. its incredibly hard to get into the book without also paralleling our lives with it which leads to huge paragraphs and frankly, if you are a long time reader of my blog, most of this you already know. So I am gonna take a deep breath and try again.

The hardest parts of the book for me? When he was interviewed at the station (I would kick that asshole in the BALLS) and then his jail time. Holy crap. Mikey has separation anxiety from me as it is.. to think about my baby, even at age 18, being thrown into jail? I might very well lose it. How Jacob handled it.. had me bawling. Literally.. I do commend the mother on finding the first lawyer she could and AT LEAST getting something done but omg..

And when she got to visit him. Again.. bawling. I am tearing up now thinking about it. THAT was the most horrifying parts of the book for me and took me days to get through.

What pissed me off? HELLO WHY DID NOONE ASK HIM IF HE KILLED HER??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

See how mad I am?

They asked ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS... questions that implicated him. Questions that didnt solve anything. MORONS. Because he only answered what he was asked. And he answered it truthfully. But if you are going in with the mindset he killed her... it seems implicating.

I suspected the brother in a way.. although everything I read led me to believe he DIDN'T kill her but I felt like Jacob thought he was protecting him anyways. I still honestly did think SOMEONE killed her though. Maybe the boyfriend.

It was nice for the Dad to come back around. What wasn't nice? Romance between the Mom and the lawyer? REALLY???? Your son is on trial for murder but you can bang his lawyer?? I am sorry, I know she probably throws romance into all her books and I would have been fine with this AFTER THE TRIAL... but during it just ticked me off.

Anyways.. Alls well that ends well? I have never spent over a week on any book (Have I mentioned I read HP 7 in roughly 8 hours?). This one I had to space out just due to the emotions involved. I could be here all day if I didn't want a mass exodus of my what.. 4 readers? lol but I write mostly to get my feelings out and I guess I have.

I want people to read this (much like I wanted people to watch 'Adam') if only to further understand what its like for my son. He isn't a bad kid. He is an amazing kid and if you spend enough time really trying to get to know him.. how he works.. you see that.

In the few months we have had Abby he has fallen in love with Amber (he calls her Amazing Amber lol) and is upset on the weekend when we don't have Abby. He never shuts up about seeing Jade (hint hint). His family is so important to him and he also never shuts up about any of them.. he actually has asked to go see Dad and Cindy in NC BY HIMSELF and initiated spending the night with my Mom. They chat on Yahoo a lot. He hasn't been able to spend the night with anyone in probably over a year. Big progress for him.

I want the stereotype gone.. I want people to stop expecting my son to be like them and try to get on his level. Fortunately most of my family already does this. I would like to see more of the world do it too.

I liked the book. I would like more people to read it. Especially those who know Mikey. It was an emotional roller coaster for me but for most.. I think it will be informative. Autism Awareness.. that's pretty much what I am all about.