The Funeral

Yesterday was a really rough, emotional day for me. I figured it would be. Dad and Cindy came by and got me around 9:15 am and we headed out. We met my Aunt, Uncle and cousin at the funeral home. Granny and Grampy were behind us and my Dad's best friend of over 20 years came also. I thought it was an incredibly nice gesture for them to come, seeing as how they have no relation to her. The more family around (and Dave is like family after all this time) the better support.

It was hard to go into the viewing area. It was closed casket, as it had been for both my Nana and Granddad. Grandma had always said she didn't like open casket and I can't say I blame her, so I wasn't surprised. My Grandma Millsap's viewing had been open casket and it took me the better part of an hour or so to go in. In the end two of my cousins went with me. To each their own, but I think when it's my time, I'd prefer closed casket too.

My cousin Diana had made two collages. One was my Grandmother growing up. There were pictures of her as a girl, a teen, a young adult. Pictures of her with both my Dad and Uncle as babies. The other collage was of her family. Grandma with my Nana, Granddad, my cousins and myself. Even Mikey was in there. I think my favorite was the one of us at my wedding. We all looked really happy. Even better, some of the pictures of my Granddad were before the stroke. She did a wonderful job and it was nice to look at those and remember all the things we had done.

The viewing was an hour long, in which of course, we met many people who knew her. Most I didn't know, but a few I did, including an old Sunday School teacher. Alot of stories about my Grandma. During this time we learned about a ring my grandmother had been wearing when she passed. They had asked if she should be buried with it, but my Dad and Uncle said no. Originally we weren't sure what ring it was, turned out to be her high school class ring. I remember her showing it to me and she wore it just as much as her wedding ring.


The first part of the service was some singing and talking about the facts of Grandma's life. The singing was probably the hardest part for me. I remember my Grandma singing those songs. I even remember singing one myself, with my Grandma signing the verses and then us signing the chorus together. One of my favorite memories.

Then came the actual service. I certainly have mixed feelings about that. Not going to get into it all here but I wasn't thrilled completely with how it was handled, although there were nice moments. I suppose after my Nana and Granddad's funerals I should have expected the "If you aren't saved you are going to HELL" part of the service but it didn't make it any easier. No offense to any Christians, but the FUNERAL of a loved one is not IMO the time to be telling them they are doomed. But that's just me.

Lastly came the graveside service, which wasn't too much, a few words and that was all. I got a rose off my Grandma's casket (well someone got it for me). Some people threw their roses into the grave where she'd be lain to rest. I kept mine. After some mingling, thank yous, and more condolences, it was over.

Afterwards we all met at a small Italian restaurant up the street. It was nice to spend some time with everyone, especially the family I don't see much. My Dad or my Uncle alone are pretty funny guys. You put them together and it's hard to stop laughing. Add my Dad's best friend into the mix and yeah.. it was a good few hours of laughing, good food and reminiscing.

Finally however it was time to go. We all said our goodbye's, Dad and Uncle Mark went thru a few more things we had gotten from the funeral home and that was it. Right before we left the restaurant, my Dad gave me my Grandma's high school ring.

It's hard to explain how much that meant to me. Having a piece of her.. a very old and important piece, means more to me than I can express. I will treasure it and more than likely one day pass it to Heather.

As we were leaving Citrus County I remarked to my Dad and Cindy that it was hard to believe I'd likely never be back. I'd been coming out here all my life. I knew landmarks like the back of my hand. So many memories out here. And now that's the end of them.

But if the pastor got anything right during the service, it's that my Grandmother wanted to go. She wanted to be with My Granddad. Now she is, along with her parents and multiple other special people in her life. She's probably pretty happy up there. It doesn't mean I will miss her any less...