Barnes and Noble

Well today was another kind of experiment. I figure in order to help Mikey handle social situations better, it might first be easier to take him somewhere he ACTUALLY WANTS TO GO. So at least we'd start out on the right foot.

The Patriots game was finally being televised this week so I figured that would be a good time to get the kids out of the house so Jason could watch it in peace. As long as he texted me every time someone scored (which he did).

I started out last weekend talking to Mikey about it (because no matter how much he may want to do something, if you tell him about it 5 minutes before you plan to leave it's not gonna go well) and letting him know exactly what the plans were.

"We're going to go to Barnes and Noble. They have cookies and hot cocoa. They also have lots of computer books and magazines. Maybe you can pick one out if you like." I originally intended to just be me and Mikey but Heather heard me and immediately it was "I wanna go too!!! I wanna go too!!" and so yeah. She came too.

As the week progressed I added on Walmart so I could get the kids Halloween costumes. Mikey seemed fine everytime we we talked about it. And today was the big day.

To be honest, Mikey far exceeded my expectations for his behavior and how much he could handle. While it was quite obvious his anxiety levels were extremely high, he never misbehaved and only rarely asked me when we were going home. He was pretty much attached to my hip and wanted Heather attached to his, wouldn't touch anything (except his food and that was after I assured him it was fine), couldn't handle Heather doing anything I didn't directly tell her to (no ideas of her own lol) and overall would have appeared to be a mess to an outsider.

But since I know him and I know exactly how he is, I thought he was doing AMAZING. We went to the kids section for a while and Heather picked something out and played with a few toys. We went by the computer books section and the magazine section but Mikey couldn't find anything he wanted. I myself found a hardcover Nora Roberts novel I hadn't read yet for $7 so I grabbed that. And we went to the cafe where Mikey got a big pretzel and hot cocoa and Heather got a huge sprinkle cookie and we chilled there for a while to eat.

At Walmart we found a costume for Heather but Mikey only wants to be one thing and of course, Walmart didn't have it. Even still he was in good spirits and I grabbed a few small groceries and headed home, considering the outing a success.

Here's a few pics!

Separation Anxiety: An Experiment

Although not diagnosed, separation anxiety falls under a Autism/Asperger's diagnosis and there's no doubt Mikey has it. He hates leaving the house. Yes, it's partly related to his computer but I can even send him to his room and he will read, play with toys and entertain himself for hours (as evidence by several sleepless nights this week that I will get into shortly).

And he also hates to be away from me or Jason, although it seems to be mostly me, I can leave him home with Jason and he's fine. But say, I walk out of the room to do laundry or something and he suddenly realizes I am not in view, he'll start calling for me, jumping up, trying to make sure I am still somewhere in the house.

You cant have anything on near him that involves crying, yelling, injury, death, etc etc. He immediately starts to freak out and even if its a movie and we try to tell him its not real, he's not satisfied. Needless to say, I read the news online because I can't play it when he's awake. He obsessed over Michael Jackson's death for weeks.

He was recently thrilled when I got on Yahoo on my new phone (I got internet free for a month) and messaged him from Walmart. Constant contact with Mommy.. what could be better?

However an area we have struggled with for SO LONG and currently is in some of its worst stages is one I never connected to separation anxiety. His sleep. It's long been an issue due to the stimulant he takes in the morning but even with the pill, he was often up way longer than we wanted, constantly calling me from the bedroom, telling me he can't sleep right away. We'd just go round and round and round till he either eventually passed out, I laid down with him or we let him come out to the couch to sleep.

On those occasion where we let him come out here in 99% of the cases he was sound sleep in minutes. After hours of arguing. Jason and I would make note of it to each other but didn't think about it much past that.

As I felt his nighttime meds were wearing off we started him on something new. It helped his appetite greatly but there were several nights he was up till 2 am or later with us fighting him the whole time. When I would finally go lay down with him, he'd fall asleep. We changed meds AGAIN and same issues. I had to keep him home from school Monday for him being up so late. But he was up just as late that night and I sent him Tuesday anyways, hoping to wear him out.

He did sleep. Around 10:30 or so. Same deal this week. Argue and fight until I laid down with him or he came out here and then BAM.. asleep.

So today I am reading more about Separation Anxiety and came across this:

Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep at nighttime without being physically close to adult loved ones

Well now. Really? /smack in the forehead

So tonight I am trying an experiment. I am just going to start him off out here. I only watch tv shows one night a week so the living room will be mostly dark, only the dining room light on. I dont raid again till Monday so I wont be talking. I wanna see how long it takes him to fall asleep if I let him sleep out here to begin with.

I'll let you know how it goes.