Busiest Time of Year

Well we are coming up now on what is always our busiest time of year.. the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

This upcoming week is of course Thanksgiving. Wednesday I will be cooking my butt off (or at least I wish that were possible) in preparation for both Thursday (spent at Granny and Grampy's house in the evening) and either Friday or Saturday evening depending on whether my Mom has Friday off or not.

It's generally too much to ask of Mikey (or Heather to be honest) for too much to happen in one day. We COULD do Thanksgiving lunch with my Mom and dinner with my Dad and Stepmom's family, but the kids would be worn completely out and probably not very friendly. My Mom has always been awesome at accomodating us and we have gotten into a groove of doing Thanksgiving with HER (and my brother if he's around) a day or so after the actual day. The kids are more relaxed, *I* am more relaxed and my mom visits friends on the day itself so I don't worry she is by herself.

So that will all be going on next week. I really enjoy this time as we often come out with TONS of extra food and we all have alot of fun. IN addition this year, I get to meet my new niece on Thanksgiving, Abby Kay. She was born to my step-sister Amber on November 13th with a full head of hair!



I absolutely cannot wait to hold her, she looks absolutely precious.

The weekend after is Heather's 4th birthday on Saturday, December 5th. We plan to meet up with Grandma Cindy and Granddad and hopefully a few other family members (and MAYBE one of Heather's best friends) at Downtown Disney. We'll let her play, pick out her gifts and eat dinner. From there it's off to Grandma Francis' house for cake and ice cream and more presents, where she will most likely spend the night (WOOT)

The following weekend nothing is planned YET however I would like to get the kids Christmas pictures done. I still have the coupons for 5 free sheets from last year's horrible issue with Walmart photo studios and since I haven't usually had a problem there before, I will try again.

The weekend after that, December 19th, is the annual (and last) family Disney Christmas trip. We have been doing these for as long as they have been married and longer for Cindy's family of course. This year its just Heather and I going as Mikey likely wouldn't last the day and Jason isn't a huge fan of theme parks. We'll meet up, have lunch or dinner, shop till we drop and then check out Osbourne Christmas Lights. It's a tradition I will miss (as Dad and Cindy are moving to N. Carolina in March) so I didn't wanna miss the last year.

Of course.. the Friday after is Christmas. We'll do our usual Christmas Eve at Granny and Grampy's but I am unsure what the plans are for Christmas morning yet. The afternoon will probably bring my Mom and Christmas Dinner. And then of course, the following week is New Year's. We usually dont make any plans to go out, we just get some drinks and watch the ball drop and then football the next day. By the time that's done.. PHEW.. Holiday Season 2009 comes to a close. I can only hope I make it thru in one piece.

Barnes and Noble

Well today was another kind of experiment. I figure in order to help Mikey handle social situations better, it might first be easier to take him somewhere he ACTUALLY WANTS TO GO. So at least we'd start out on the right foot.

The Patriots game was finally being televised this week so I figured that would be a good time to get the kids out of the house so Jason could watch it in peace. As long as he texted me every time someone scored (which he did).

I started out last weekend talking to Mikey about it (because no matter how much he may want to do something, if you tell him about it 5 minutes before you plan to leave it's not gonna go well) and letting him know exactly what the plans were.

"We're going to go to Barnes and Noble. They have cookies and hot cocoa. They also have lots of computer books and magazines. Maybe you can pick one out if you like." I originally intended to just be me and Mikey but Heather heard me and immediately it was "I wanna go too!!! I wanna go too!!" and so yeah. She came too.

As the week progressed I added on Walmart so I could get the kids Halloween costumes. Mikey seemed fine everytime we we talked about it. And today was the big day.

To be honest, Mikey far exceeded my expectations for his behavior and how much he could handle. While it was quite obvious his anxiety levels were extremely high, he never misbehaved and only rarely asked me when we were going home. He was pretty much attached to my hip and wanted Heather attached to his, wouldn't touch anything (except his food and that was after I assured him it was fine), couldn't handle Heather doing anything I didn't directly tell her to (no ideas of her own lol) and overall would have appeared to be a mess to an outsider.

But since I know him and I know exactly how he is, I thought he was doing AMAZING. We went to the kids section for a while and Heather picked something out and played with a few toys. We went by the computer books section and the magazine section but Mikey couldn't find anything he wanted. I myself found a hardcover Nora Roberts novel I hadn't read yet for $7 so I grabbed that. And we went to the cafe where Mikey got a big pretzel and hot cocoa and Heather got a huge sprinkle cookie and we chilled there for a while to eat.

At Walmart we found a costume for Heather but Mikey only wants to be one thing and of course, Walmart didn't have it. Even still he was in good spirits and I grabbed a few small groceries and headed home, considering the outing a success.

Here's a few pics!

Separation Anxiety: An Experiment

Although not diagnosed, separation anxiety falls under a Autism/Asperger's diagnosis and there's no doubt Mikey has it. He hates leaving the house. Yes, it's partly related to his computer but I can even send him to his room and he will read, play with toys and entertain himself for hours (as evidence by several sleepless nights this week that I will get into shortly).

And he also hates to be away from me or Jason, although it seems to be mostly me, I can leave him home with Jason and he's fine. But say, I walk out of the room to do laundry or something and he suddenly realizes I am not in view, he'll start calling for me, jumping up, trying to make sure I am still somewhere in the house.

You cant have anything on near him that involves crying, yelling, injury, death, etc etc. He immediately starts to freak out and even if its a movie and we try to tell him its not real, he's not satisfied. Needless to say, I read the news online because I can't play it when he's awake. He obsessed over Michael Jackson's death for weeks.

He was recently thrilled when I got on Yahoo on my new phone (I got internet free for a month) and messaged him from Walmart. Constant contact with Mommy.. what could be better?

However an area we have struggled with for SO LONG and currently is in some of its worst stages is one I never connected to separation anxiety. His sleep. It's long been an issue due to the stimulant he takes in the morning but even with the pill, he was often up way longer than we wanted, constantly calling me from the bedroom, telling me he can't sleep right away. We'd just go round and round and round till he either eventually passed out, I laid down with him or we let him come out to the couch to sleep.

On those occasion where we let him come out here in 99% of the cases he was sound sleep in minutes. After hours of arguing. Jason and I would make note of it to each other but didn't think about it much past that.

As I felt his nighttime meds were wearing off we started him on something new. It helped his appetite greatly but there were several nights he was up till 2 am or later with us fighting him the whole time. When I would finally go lay down with him, he'd fall asleep. We changed meds AGAIN and same issues. I had to keep him home from school Monday for him being up so late. But he was up just as late that night and I sent him Tuesday anyways, hoping to wear him out.

He did sleep. Around 10:30 or so. Same deal this week. Argue and fight until I laid down with him or he came out here and then BAM.. asleep.

So today I am reading more about Separation Anxiety and came across this:

Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep at nighttime without being physically close to adult loved ones

Well now. Really? /smack in the forehead

So tonight I am trying an experiment. I am just going to start him off out here. I only watch tv shows one night a week so the living room will be mostly dark, only the dining room light on. I dont raid again till Monday so I wont be talking. I wanna see how long it takes him to fall asleep if I let him sleep out here to begin with.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Developmental Ped Checkup

Mikey had his quarterly checkup with the Developmental ped today. He hasnt changed any in height or weight which is good (although he IS at 10% for BMI.. tall for his age but slightly below average for weight).

Today we saw the nurse practitioner who was a very nice woman who asked ALOT of questions. She even had Mikey take an anxiety questionnaire, half of which he did himself and the other half she asked him directly.

I have had concerns about his anxiety for quite some time now. Some things he can be talked thru, others are just flat out not getting past him. Social situations are the worst, bad enough recently that he has gotten himself worked up enough to throw up.

He did this at the last family birthday party at Jeremy and Wendy's house after we'd been there a while. During this time I couldnt get him to interact with anyone, talk to anyone or do anything other than cling to me. Well, I think I did manage to get him to say congratualtion to Wendy and Amber on their pregnancies but thats about it. I think the situation as a whole was just too much. The house is smaller than where we usually attend, and so even the same amount of people seem like more; everyone is talking to each other and *gasp* occasionally people even want to talk to HIM. He just shuts down. He can't even wrap his head around the situation much less answer questions.

The next time was our park visit a few weeks back. We had no sooner gotten there and given Mikey a french fry when he started throwing up. I got that under control and we continued with the visit. Heather playing with a little boy and having fun, Mikey sitting next to me asking when he could go home and get back on his computer. The difference here? Towards the end Mikey actually got up and started playing on some equipment on his own. He didn't interact with anyone, but he DID play and that's a big step?

The differences in those situations? One obviously is the amount of space around Mikey. I am sure he didn't feel quite so closed in and forced to cooperate at the park. (not saying anyone forces him to cooperate, but he may feel MORE forced in a smaller setting with lots of people).

Also I let him decide what he wanted to do. I didn't pester him. If he wanted to sit next to me the whole time, so be it. My ONLY goal for that outing was to get him out of the house. I had no expectations of him actually participating. I think by not placing too many demands on him he was able to relax and loosen up enough to play some at the end. Something I intend to remember at future gatherings.

These are just a few of the anxiety issues we deal with. In the test she had him take he scored low on physical anxiety but she thinks that is more than likely because with Asperger's, he doesn't recognize what he's feeling or dealing with or the different words that may be used to describe it.

Social anxiety he scored above average (duh). And separation anxiety was off the charts. Again, not surprising in the least. At one point she attempted to take him to a room right across from ours to do the test at a little table and he was freaking, although we did get him calm once he realized he could look up at any time and see me.

So she wanted to try him on a new sleeping medication. I had told her what Mikey is currently taking had its ups and downs. She put him on Remeron which is supposed to help with appetite and anxiety in addition to sleeping. I plan to start him on it tomorrow.

Hopefully I will see a few changes, appetite especially but socially as well.

Adam

Today my Dad picked me up for some father daughter time that I remarked I didn't believe we had had since before Heather was born!

He took me to the restaurant of my choice (Olive Garden yummy!) and then we walked around the Winter Park village a little while until it was time to head into the theatre.

I knew this movie was gonna be rough from the time Dad first sent me the trailer. In reality it was a little like being emotionally backhanded.. hard.

Adam is a 29 yr old man with Asperger's Syndrome. In this movie he meets Beth, an NT (neurotypical) young woman for whom he develops an attraction and she with him. The movie focuses mostly on Adam and the social issues he has, with the relationship being the secondary plotline (to me anyways.. but it's also possible I viewed it that way because of Mikey).

I am honestly not sure I have ever had a harder time with a movie. From the opening scene till the end I think I was on the verge of crying 75% of the movie. The actor himself deserves an award for his unbelievably accurate portrayal of Asperger's. From the erratic eye contact to the difficulty expressing himself to the animated and run together sentences on a topic he was passionate about..Spot on.

There may be some spoilers past this point so stop reading if you plan to see this and don't like them.

I have always felt sympathy for people who got emotional during movies that touched on some major issue in their lives; cancer...suicide...rape.. etc etc. I didn't feel what they felt but I knew it must be hard. I was wrong. It's agonizing.

The scene where Adam slams his head against a mirror I had to close my eyes and just breathe. The scene where he covers his ears and starts melting down because he doesn't wanna move; where he lashes out at Beth because she lied to him.

The look on his face as he contemplates the thought of a social situation.. his anguish at being unable to make himself do something she's asked him to do. I wanted to reach thru the screen and hug him so many times.. and all I could think of was Mikey.

Was the movie all sad and anger? No. There were a number of funny scenes.. heartwarming scenes. So many times where I would chuckle because I could SO see Mikey doing that. But the future is always on my mind. I wanna be there for him.. help him. That's why I read every account of adult's with Asperger's I can find. And that's why I saw this movie. So I can understand him as much as possible and help him grow.

Anyone who has someone on the autism spectrum in their lives should see this movie, in my opinion. I would love for everyone in Mikey's life to see it (and thank you Granny and Grampy.. I love you guys so much). If the only thing you come away from this movie with is a realization of what it's like for my kid and thousands of others like him, then I am happy.

It didn't exactly end how I expected but instead, it ended better. With Adam in a better place than he had been. And Beth was reponsible for a large majority of that. If Mikey ends up where Adam does one day, I can rest easy.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I was fortunate that Jason is on vacation this week so that I was able to go see this movie on opening day. I have been excited for weeks!

There will be spoilers here so if you have only ever watched the movies (and don't already know whats coming) you may wanna stop here!!

My only real disappointment with the film is that it's just impossible to fit the entire book into 2 1/2 hours. So much happened before Harry ever got to school this year and that was briefly skimmed thru. I feel like if I hadn't read the book I'd be clueless as to what was going on but that's probably not the case, I am just sensing what's missing.

I think that given time constraints they did everything they could to get the important parts in but I MUST say.. I am thrilled Book 7 will be two movies so that hopefully more of the last book will be able to be shown on screen.

As for the movie itself? I thought it was great. Casting never ceases to amaze me.
Luna, one of my favorite characters, was wonderfully cast by Evanna Lynch and played to a T. She got a considerable amount of screen time this movie which I was pleased with (moreso than poor Neville).

Another big casting favorite of mine was Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange.



She is brilliant as the slightly deranged follower of Voldemort and nails the performance.

Casting I didn't see coming? Jessie Cave as Lavendar Brown.

She wasn't who I pictured at ALL the the love struck admirer of Ron but seeing it in action I felt alot better with the choice. She's a very pretty girl and did the ditzy affectionate role justice.

The camaraderie between the trio was there as always.



You wanted to cry with Hermione as Ron runs off with Lavendar and you cheered when he said Hermione's name is his sleep.

You clapped with the crowd as Ron got every catch in the Quidditch game. You felt your heart melt a little as Ginny kissed Harry in the Room of Requirement. Here's what I didn't understand though (and another casting win). How did Hermione NOT think Cormac Mclaggen (potrayed by Freddie Stroma) was a complete and total BABE??



Are you kidding me?? He's flat out yummy.

Anyways all in all my only complaint again is how much had to be cut out. The scenes were done well, graphics were great, all the actors did their roles wonderfully. I could have done with less of the Burrows burning down and more shirtless Mclaggen but hey, I am not the director.

The scene that sent chills up my spine and goosebumps all over was after Dumbledore died.. and Harry ran back to be at his side. And one by one... well.. you'll see. I wont ruin that one for you. Just remember I told you about it here first.

Autism Friendly Showing of HP6!!!!

Seriously, you have NO idea how happy this makes me.

Autism Friendly Showing of Half Blood Prince at AMC Theaters

Now, this is not a movie I'd take Mikey too anyhow. Its much too harsh for him, and he doesn't separate reality from fantasy well at all yet.

But it's the point. The fact they are doing this is amazing. I am SO thrilled because it opens up the doors for similar showings with different movies. There's just really not words to express how much hope this gives me for kids with autism everywhere. Look... people are changing for you.. instead of making you change for them. Rock on.

And in other news, Mikey got two cavities filled Thursday. Some of you may remember the traumatic experience earlier this year that left us both in tears when a dentist attempted to do this with Mikey and was IMO way to harsh on him. I decided to go the sedation route because it just seemed way too much for Mikey to handle and I was not going to put him in a strait jacket like the dentist suggested (you're freaking kidding me right? Do parents DO that???)

So we finally got him in Thursday and it went wonderful. They had him drink some loopy medicine and we hung out in the waiting room for 30 mins then I took him back. They sealed up his four permanent teeth first, got a nitrous oxide supply going in his nose, numbed, shot up and filled first the big cavity then a small one.

Mikey did great. They let me stay the whole time and most of it I was at the head of his chair so he could always see me. I did not think they would let me do that so I was very grateful. They were wonderful with him, so attentive, praising him, patient.. it was worth the arm and a leg we are paying for it. I just pray we can keep his teeth clean enough to NOT need to do this again (well except for the 3rd we have to fill in August).

And in even BETTER news, a few weeks back I found out my stepsister Amber is pregnant. She'll be having a little girl due in November. And just yesterday at the family summer birthday party, I found out my SIL (stepbrother's wife) is also pregnant, due in February. So TWO cousins for my kiddoes in a matter of months. Wendy says shes having a boy based on the Chinese Birth Calendar. I guess we'll see!

So.. Aunt AnnMarie? Aunt Annie? Auntie Ann? I cant decide...